(Location: Noble Academy, Sky Terrace Tea Garden – Too High for Comfort)
Let me set the record straight: I didn't plan to gain a third fiancée. I was just trying to enjoy tea on a floating terrace with minimum social interaction and maximum biscuit consumption.
Inner Me: I just wanted snacks. Not surprises.
But surprise, I got.
### Enter: Lady Aureline Dragova, the Polite Tyrant
A polite cough echoed behind me. The kind that says, "Please turn around, peasant, before I curse your bloodline with style."
I turned and saw her: Lady Aureline Dragova, Eastern noble, magical prodigy, and according to the documents she pulled out of thin air — my betrothed since she was two.
She stood there in a black-and-silver uniform, smiling like a snake that just negotiated a peace treaty with its prey. Elegant. Poised. Possibly terrifying.
Beside her stood her butler, or rather, battlemaid — a tall woman with dark braids and a notebook filled with judgment.
"Master Kael," the maid said, eyeing my half-buttoned shirt and crumb-covered fingers, "I see you were... unprepared for nobility."
Me: "I was prepared for snacks, not surprise engagements."
Aureline gave a bow so perfect it made the floating tea tray jealous. "I am pleased to meet you properly. Our engagement contract was signed between our families many years ago."
She held it up. It glittered. It had wax seals. One of them was shaped like a chicken.
Inner Me: Is this legal? It's sealed with poultry.
### The Dragon and the Butler
Something large and scaly swooped overhead.
I ducked.
Me: "IS THAT A DRAGON?"
Aureline nodded calmly. "His name is Mr. Whiskers. He is my guardian. He's very selective about who I date."
Mr. Whiskers, a midnight-black wyrmling with gold eyes, landed on the terrace with a suspicious snort.
He sniffed me. Judged me. Licked a biscuit. Judged that, too.
The battlemaid leaned closer. "He's decided you're not entirely useless. Congratulations."
Inner Me: That's the nicest thing I've heard all week.
### Tea, Fire, and Engagement Clauses
Belladonna burst onto the terrace with a vial in one hand and a muffin in the other.
"Kael! I just invented time-travel tea!"
She paused.
"Who's the porcelain princess and the dragon with social anxiety?"
Aureline smiled. "Lady Belladonna, I presume. Your potion last month nearly melted my father's library. I admire your precision."
Belladonna blinked. "...Oh. I like you."
Then Seraphina arrived, dressed in her sparring gear, expression already at full disappointment.
"What now, Kael?"
Me: "Apparently I'm betrothed. Again."
She looked at Aureline.
Then at the dragon.
Then at me.
"You really are a trouble magnet wearing a noble badge."
### System Update: Now With More Bureaucracy
\[SYSTEM ALERT: ENGAGEMENT #3 REGISTERED. AUTO-SYNCING PERSONALITY CONFLICT MATRIX... ERROR. TOO MUCH CONFLICT.]
Inner Me: Great. Even the System is panicking.
The maid — her name was Isolde, apparently — handed me a clipboard.
"Lady Aureline has prepared a schedule of compatibility tests."
Me: "Tests?"
"Yes. Duel, dance, debate, dinner."
Me: "All today?"
"Preferably before tea is cold."
Inner Me: Death by etiquette. The noblest demise.
### The Duel of Slightly Polite Doom
The duel took place in the Academy's Northern Courtyard, which smelled faintly of scorched lilies.
Aureline stood across from me, smiling serenely. Mr. Whiskers circled above, probably deciding which part of me to barbecue.
Belladonna tossed me a wand. "Here, try not to combust."
Seraphina handed Aureline a wooden blade. "Don't hold back. He won't break. Probably."
Aureline cast a shadow-lace barrier around the field.
Me: "Is this really necessary?"
Isolde (the butler-maid) scribbled in her notebook. "Initiating Phase 1: Mutual Respect through Minimal Harm."
Aureline's first spell turned the ground beneath me into slippery obsidian. I fell. The second spell summoned a flurry of paper cranes. The third made those cranes explode.
Inner Me: Who weaponizes origami?!
I retaliated with a gust spell that knocked over a banner. It hit Mr. Whiskers. He glared.
Me: "It was an accident!"
He blew a small, precise fireball that singed my shoes.
Belladonna laughed. Seraphina rolled her eyes. Isolde took notes like she was drafting my will.
Finally, Aureline raised a hand.
"That concludes the engagement test."
Me: "Did I pass?"
Isolde: "You scored 3 out of 10."
Me: "That's..."
"Still better than her last suitor."
Mr. Whiskers burped sparkles.
### Later, At the Fireproof Library...
Aureline joined me for tea in the academy's reinforced library. Apparently, the last time she visited, she accidentally summoned a shadow beast during quiet hours.
Belladonna and Seraphina were glaring at each other over a chessboard.
"What do you want from me?" I asked Aureline, finally sipping my tea.
She folded her hands. "Nothing you're not already doing. Survive. Be kind. And be sarcastic at the right times."
I blinked.
Inner Me: That's... surprisingly healthy for a fiancée.
"Also," she added, sipping her tea, "please don't make my dragon cry. He's very sensitive."
### System Ping: The Reality Check
\[SYSTEM: NEW RELATIONSHIP DYNAMIC RECORDED – 'Strategic Affectional Alliance']
\[REWARD: Unlock Passive Skill: Dragon-Sized Diplomacy]
Inner Me: I have no idea what that means, but I'm keeping it.
### The Cliffhanger: Because We Know What Readers Want
Just as I reached for another biscuit — the fancy vanilla kind — a scroll burst into flame in midair and unraveled across the table.
It read:
> "Kael Reinhardt is hereby invited to participate in the Academy's Royal Debate Championship. Your topic: 'Should Sarcasm Be an Acceptable Magical Defense?'
> Refusal will be interpreted as a national insult.
Inner Me: Oh good. Time to offend four kingdoms with puns.
Belladonna grinned. Seraphina groaned. Aureline poured more tea.
Mr. Whiskers snorted smoke rings.
Isolde closed her notebook and said, "Oh, you're going to die so publicly."
---
### Next Time on: "Yes, I Was Reborn…"
Kael enters a debate tournament against six magical prodigies, a sentient book, and his own System.
Spoiler: The book heckles him.
Kael's Message to Readers: Are you keeping up with this insanity? Are you team Seraphina, Belladonna, or Aureline? COMMENT BELOW. Your judgment feeds my survival stats.
Inner Me: Also, who approved that scroll?!