(Location: Noble Academy, Grand Dining Hall of Flamboyant Cutlery)
Let it be known: breakfast is sacred.
Unless you're a noble.
Then it's a tactical war zone of syrup, status, and silverware that probably costs more than your soul.
I had barely recovered from the whole "dragon-and-shadow-magic fiancée" thing when the Headmaster personally summoned me to the Grand Dining Hall.
Headmaster Arkwright: "Reinhardt. You have been chosen as your House's culinary representative."
Me: "That sentence gave me indigestion."
Inner Me: And fear. Mostly fear.
Apparently, there had been an "incident" last semester between two rival houses that escalated from bacon etiquette to actual lightning bolts in the oatmeal.
To prevent further food-based warfare, they created a tradition:
> The Breakfast Duel
A civilized contest.
Of pancakes.
### Contestants, Assemble! (Cue Dramatic Toast Buttering)
I was seated at one end of an absurdly long, enchanted breakfast table. Each chair had its own theme. Mine was embroidered with slightly judgmental sunflowers.
My opponents? A coalition of noble-born students with teeth whiter than moral ambiguity and jaws clenched tighter than school funding.
House Vermielle: Known for their soufflé diplomacy and excessive monocles.
House D'Andrelle: Proud inventors of the triple-decker croissant tower.
House Dragova: Represented by none other than Lady Aureline, my third fiancée, sipping dark tea with a smile that could curdle cream.
To my left, Belladonna adjusted her safety goggles.
Belladonna: "I made a maple syrup that glows in the dark. Want to test it on your tongue first or after the match?"
To my right, Seraphina sat with crossed arms, radiating judgment.
Seraphina: "Lose and you're walking back to the dorms. Through the peacock fields. Shirtless."
Me: "That seems oddly specific."
Inner Me: I've made worse deals with fate.
### Round One: The Pancake Stack of Nobility
Objective: Stack as many pancakes as possible without collapse.
Time limit: 3 minutes. Materials: Butter, fear, and six spatulas.
House Vermielle stacked theirs with precision geometry.
House D'Andrelle? French architecture. Crooked but fancy.
Aureline whispered something to her shadow magic and the pancakes floated into place.
Me?
I bribed the kitchen goblin with half a cinnamon roll to help.
Goblin: "Stack done. Stability: dubious."
Inner Me: Same.
### Round Two: Syrup Drizzle Aesthetics
Judge: A retired pastry mage who wept at the sight of unbalanced molasses.
Belladonna handed me her latest concoction:
Belladonna: "Behold. Syrup infused with unicorn daydreams. Might also be mildly corrosive."
I applied it in swirls.
Artistic. Chaotic. Possibly illegal.
Judge: "Unorthodox... but emotionally resonant."
Aureline's drizzle looked like calligraphy.
Mine looked like abstract breakfast trauma.
### Round Three: Mimosa Speed Challenge
We were handed enchanted crystal flutes filled with fizzing orange essence.
Referee: "Sip. Don't spill. First to three finishes wins."
Aureline sipped elegantly. So did the others.
I chugged.
Me: "FOR BREAKFAST HONOR!"
Glass one. Gone.
Glass two. Slightly spilled. I pretended it was part of the ritual.
Glass three. I drank. Stood. Bowed.
Then fell dramatically into a fruit tray.
### Victory? Maybe. Dignity? Absolutely Not.
A panel of magical judges conferred.
The pastries conferred.
Even Bartholomew, the diplomatic parrot from last chapter, showed up to squawk his vote.
**Bartholomew:** "Give the awkward one a pity win!"
The final scores:
House Vermielle: 27 points
House D'Andrelle: 29 points
House Dragova: 31 points
House Reinhardt (Me): 32.5 points
Me: "Wait... what?"
Referee: "Your emotional pancake collapse was rated as 'tragic culinary art'."
System Message:
> \[NEW TITLE UNLOCKED: Breakfast Diplomat]
> \[Passive Acquired: +10 Charm during brunch events]
Inner Me: Finally. A title that reflects my real skillset.
### Aureline's Smile and the Breakfast of Suspicion
After the duel, Aureline approached with her usual terrifying calm.
Aureline: "Congratulations, betrothed."
Me: "Thanks. Did your pancakes whisper threatening riddles or was that just me?"
Aureline: "Just you. But don't worry. You stacked well."
She walked off. Her shadow winked at me. Shadows shouldn't wink.
Inner Me: I need holy syrup.
### Post-Duel Commentary: Welcome Back, Chaos
Back at the dorm, Belladonna was analyzing leftover batter for magical residue.
Seraphina was reading a book titled *"Winning With Dignity"* and giving me side-eyes.
Me: "I technically won."
Seraphina: "You were upside down in the mango basket."
Me: "Tactical retreat."
System Message:
> \[New Quest: Prepare for the Muffin Summit]
> \[Warning: It is not metaphorical. Muffins will be sentient.]
Inner Me: Breakfast never ends.
---
Next Time on: "Yes, I Was Reborn…"
Kael tries to give a motivational speech.
Accidentally becomes the figurehead of a breakfast cult.
Spoiler: They leave banana bread offerings.
Kael's Message to Readers: Did you laugh? Did you spill syrup while reading? COMMENT. Otherwise Belladonna might test her next potion on my toothbrush.
Inner Me: Also, who keeps replacing my sugar with salt?