(Location: Noble Academy, Sky Arena. Altitude: Too High For My Comfort)
Let's get one thing clear: humans are not meant to fly. Especially not via magically-propelled broom, while wearing a robe, with yesterday's breakfast still emotionally processing.
Inner Me: If I fall, at least gravity is honest.
Today was our first official Sky Combat Class, held in the floating coliseum above Noble Academy. Why? Because some ancient educational law stated: \*"Thou shalt learn to duel midair, lest ye become uncool peasants."
Narrator (also me): And here I was, a sarcastic noble, clinging to a levitating broomstick like it owed me money.
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### Welcome to Sky Combat Class: Your Death May Be Spectacular
Our instructor, Professor Aeris Windgrave, had the voice of a soprano and the soul of a chaos god. She wore wind-enchanted heels and taught like a motivational speaker who drank tornadoes.
"Today," she declared, standing atop a hovering podium, "you learn to fight with grace, precision, and airborne poise!"
Inner Me: Lady, I'm trying not to scream every five seconds.
Belladonna, beside me on her broom, grinned.
"I added a speed charm to mine. If I disappear into another country, tell my parents it was awesome."
Seraphina, balanced like a professional storm angel, was already perfect.
Seraphina: "Kael, grip the shaft higher. You're wobbling."
Me: "You say that like I was designed for this."
System Alert: \[NEW STATUS: Airborne Anxiety -5 Stability]
Great.
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### Flight Test, or: How to Scream Politely
We were divided into three-person squads for "aerial skirmish maneuvers." Basically, glorified tag with magical explosions.
I was partnered with:
Belladonna, who strapped potions to her ankles for acceleration.
Mortimer, a brooding necromancer who brought a flying coffin instead of a broom.
Inner Me: We're doomed. At least our team name could be *"Death and Dumbassery."*
"Ready... Fly!" Professor Windgrave shouted.
WHOOSH.
Everyone zipped into the sky like heroic fireworks. I, however, drifted upward like a confused balloon, arms flailing.
"Kael, bank left!" Seraphina shouted from the sidelines.
Me: "I would if I knew where 'left' was!"
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### Sky Combat Begins (And Immediately Goes Wrong)
Mortimer hurled a ghost-sphere at a rival student. Belladonna dropped a smoke potion that turned the air into grape-scented chaos.
Me? I tried to dodge.
System Alert: \[You have performed a maneuver: The Aerial Flail] \[+2 Audience Amusement]
I collided with a banner.
Belladonna cackled. "Your face looked like a pancake of destiny!"
"Focus!" Professor Windgrave yelled. "Use your broom as an extension of your will!"
Inner Me: My will is currently screaming in lowercase.
---
### Midair Duel: Kael vs. Sky and Logic
Then came the challenge: Midair Duel.
I was matched against Lysander Greaves, a blond sky-prince who apparently trained by fighting thunderstorms for fun.
He approached with glowing boots and a smug smirk. "Prepare to taste cloud, Reinhardt."
Me: "Just so we're clear, I'm terrible at this."
He charged.
I panicked, lifted my wand, and yelled the first thing that came to mind:
"Fluctus Confundere!"
Translation: Wave of Confusion.
Lysander swerved, his broom spiraling. I accidentally created a cyclone of magical butterflies.
Belladonna: "Pretty! Also terrifying!"
System Update: \[NEW SPELL CREATED: Butterfly Barrage - 15% effectiveness, 85% embarrassment]
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### The Legendary Midair Dodge (Sponsored by Fear)
Lysander returned with a vengeance. He cast Aer Tempestas, hurling compressed wind daggers.
I dove.
The world spun. Sky above, arena below, me in between. Gravity called. I answered with a scream.
Seraphina (from the crowd): "Tighten your legs, Kael!"
Me: "I CAN'T FEEL MY LEGS!"
My broom bucked, flipped me midair, and I landed on it backwards, facing the wrong way.
Inner Me: If I survive this, I'm starting a ground-based political party.
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### Accidental Victory, the Kael Way
Lysander bore down on me.
Belladonna tossed me a glitter bomb potion.
"Throw it!"
I did. At myself.
A massive explosion of light, sparkles, and glitter covered the entire arena. I fell... again. This time, right into the safety net spell.
Lysander? He flew directly into a conjured billboard that read: "Noble Academy: Soaring Since 1241"
System Alert: \[Victory Achieved. Through Nonsense. As Usual.]
Audience: applause and laughter*
Professor Windgrave: "Well... that was unconventional."
Me: "Thank you. I specialize in regret."
---
### Post-Battle Analysis (A.K.A. Everyone Judges Me)
Back on the ground, I limped toward the review circle.
Seraphina approached with arms crossed.
Seraphina: "You survived. Barely."
Me: "That's basically my brand now."
Belladonna offered me a juice box.
"You earned it," she said. "You glitter-bombed the sky. That's historic."
Mortimer mumbled, "Next time, I'll bring ghosts with parachutes."
Inner Me: That might be the most reasonable suggestion today.
---
### System Messages & Public Humiliation
\[NEW TITLE UNLOCKED: Skyborn Accident]
\[Passive Effect: Increased likability when upside down]
\[Achievement Unlocked: Airborne Disaster Artist]
Me: "Can I trade these for life insurance?"
Professor Windgrave clapped.
"Kael Reinhardt, despite your complete lack of aerial elegance, you demonstrated improvisation, resolve, and a willingness to humiliate yourself publicly."
Me: "I aim low so I can fall with confidence."
---
### Next Time on: "Yes, I Was Reborn..."
Kael attempts to relax in the greenhouse.
Spoiler: The plants are sentient.
Spoiler #2: One of them wants to marry him.
Kael's Message to Readers: Did I soar? Did I flop? Did I glitter the heavens into submission? COMMENT below. Because feedback is my parachute and your laughter is my wind magic.
Inner Me: Also, if anyone sees my dignity, please return it. It flew off around minute three.
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BONUS: Student Gossip Scroll, Sky Combat Edition
* "Did you see Reinhardt dodge by falling? Iconic."
* "Pretty sure he invented a new magic art: Accidental Acrobatics."
* "He made butterflies deadly. I respect that."
* "That explosion? Best light show since the Summer Ball."
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