Cherreads

Chapter 19 - P.E., Pyromancy, and the Perils of Running in Robes

(Location: Noble Academy, Arcane Athletics Arena)

Allow me to paint you a picture: it is early morning, the sun is shining, the birds are chirping something suspicious in their native feathered dialect, and I am being chased by a **fireball**.

Inner Me: So this is how I die. Not from romance. Not from betrayal. But from mandatory exercise.

Welcome, dear reader, to Magical P.E. The only class in Noble Academy where you're expected to run, dodge, summon defensive wards, and try not to combust all before breakfast. Think dodgeball, but the balls explode and the teacher actively encourages your suffering.

### Warm-Up, or the Ritual Sacrifice of Dignity

"Everyone line up!" barked Coach Magra, our instructor.

Coach Magra was built like a cathedral and had the soul of a military parade. She wore a tracksuit stitched with enchanted runes and carried a whistle that could reportedly summon lightning storms.

"Today's goal: SURVIVAL!"

Inner Me: Great. I left my will in my sock drawer.

The class was gathered in the Arcane Athletics Arena, which was essentially a giant magical coliseum filled with obstacle courses, enchanted track fields, and something in the distance that looked suspiciously like a sentient treadmill.

Next to me, Seraphina was doing perfect lunges with noble grace. Belladonna was stretching by experimenting with explosive jumping potions. Elric was busy flexing in a mirror illusion he conjured himself.

"Reinhardt! You're up first for the elemental gauntlet!"

Me: "Do I get a warm-up?"

"You've had your entire miserable life to warm up! NOW MOVE."

Inner Me: I hate it here.

### The Elemental Gauntlet (a.k.a. Kael's Flaming Regret Parade)

The Elemental Gauntlet was a series of enchanted platforms that fired magical elements at random. Fire, wind, lightning, and the occasional emotionally charged water cannon.

I stepped onto the starting tile.

The arena lights dimmed. A magical voice boomed:

> "BEGIN TRIAL: ELEMENTAL CHAOS LEVEL 1"

Inner Me: Level 1. That sounds survivable.

A geyser of flame shot out of the first tile and nearly took off my eyebrows.

Me: "WHO DESIGNS THESE THINGS?!"

\[SYSTEM ALERT: New Status Effect - Lightly Roasted]

Lightning arced from the ceiling. I ducked, rolled, and landed in what I *thought* was safe water. It wasn't. It judged me.

A voice whispered from the pool: "Unworthy."

Inner Me: Even water hates me.

Somehow, I managed to make it across. Slightly singed, very winded, and emotionally damaged.

Coach Magra blew her whistle.

"Time: 1 minute, 42 seconds. You're lucky pity isn't fatal. NEXT!"

### Group Training: Trust Falls with Fireballs

"Partner up!" Magra barked. "This next exercise is about TRUST and TACTICAL DODGING!"

Seraphina immediately partnered with me, because no one else wanted to deal with my sarcasm.

We were handed magical bracelets that linked our pain sensors.

Me: "Wait, so if I get burned, she feels it?"

Coach: "Correct. So don't be useless."

Inner Me: I have *never* felt this amount of pressure while sweating.

The challenge was simple: run through an obstacle course while being pelted with enchanted projectiles. If one of us got hit, we both suffered.

"Ready? GO!"

The first volley came fast. Seraphina sliced a fireball with her sword like a divine blender. I tripped on my own robe.

"Kael! MOVE!"

"I'm trying! My robe is wrapped around my honor!"

Projectile: Ice Blast

Hit Target: Kael

Shared Pain Activated

Seraphina: grits teeth in noble agony

Inner Me: So this is what betrayal feels like.

We limped through the course, dodging fire, leaping over thunder traps, and avoiding exploding mushrooms that Belladonna had helpfully planted.

### Meanwhile, in the Spectator Stands...

Belladonna was selling popcorn.

"Boom corn! Enchanted for maximum crunch and minor fireworks!"

Elric was writing in a tiny leather journal titled "How to Remain Beautiful Under Pressure."

Coach Magra stood like a goddess of punishment, occasionally muttering, "They're not dying fast enough."

One first-year fainted from heat exposure. The infirmary golem dragged him off like it was Tuesday.

### System Intervention (a.k.a. A Magical Excuse)

Halfway through my third run, my System pinged.

\[SYSTEM: Due to extreme incompetence, emergency perk activated!]

\[NEW ABILITY: Slippery Survivalist]

Effect: Your body randomly slips at key moments, avoiding damage by dumb luck.

I tripped on a lightning tile.

The bolt hit Elric.

Elric: "MY PERFECTLY MOUSSED HAIR!"

Me: "Sorry! I have legally sanctioned clumsiness!"

Seraphina sliced two more fireballs in half, looking like an action movie poster.

Inner Me: Marry her. Immediately. For safety reasons.

### Final Trial: The Flaming Rope Climb of Existential Regret

Coach Magra clapped once. Thunder echoed.

"FINAL TEST: Climb the enchanted rope. It's on fire. You have sixty seconds."

I stared at the rope. It stared back. Menacingly.

Inner Me: Can I get a rope with less fire and more forgiveness?

Up I went.

My robe caught fire.

Seraphina cast a wind spell to help.

Belladonna yelled, "Go, Kael, go! The rope hasn't bitten *anyone* since last semester!"

Halfway up, my System pinged again.

\[SYSTEM: New Buff - Spicy Aura]

Effect: Mild fire resistance. You still look ridiculous.

I reached the top.

The rope snapped.

I fell.

Into a pile of enchanted foam.

Me: "Is this heaven?"

"No," said Coach Magra, looming over me. "This is remedial P.E. class."

### End of Class: Minor Victory, Major Humiliation

Somehow, I survived. My grades improved. Slightly.

\[SYSTEM UPDATE: Kael's Physical Aptitude: C-]

Inner Me: That's the best grade I've gotten all year.

Seraphina handed me a towel.

"You fought bravely. Like a flailing squirrel, but bravely."

Belladonna offered a cookie.

"It's only 30% combustion prone!"

Elric screamed as another static shock took out his third mirror.

Coach Magra blew her whistle.

"NEXT CLASS: FIRE DANCING! BRING BANDAGES!"

Inner Me: I'm moving to a non-magical village. Immediately.

### Next Time on: "Yes, I Was Reborn..."

Kael gets invited to a noble tea party.

Spoiler: The tea is sentient.

Spoiler #2: The hostess thinks Kael is her long-lost son.

Kael's Message to Readers: If you laughed, winced, or now fear gym class forever, COMMENT BELOW. Every click fuels my post-trauma recovery snacks.

Inner Me: I should've stayed in that wardrobe...

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