t began with one innocent comment from Travis:
> "Wouldn't it be cool if we hosted a fan event? Like a big backyard barbecue?"
Carlton looked up from measuring Buttermilk's new bandana inventory. "You mean with actual people? In our actual backyard?"
Travis nodded. "Fans, food, dogs. A chill, fuzzy vibe."
Carlton raised a brow. "This can only end in flames."
It did. But not in the way anyone expected.
---
The Planning Phase
They called it "The Great Barkbecue." Flyers went out with Buttermilk in a tiny chef's hat flipping tofu sausages.
Sponsors joined in:
Barkbox offered chewables
VeggiePaws catered dog-safe sliders
A local kombucha company sent 200 bottles labeled "Pup'booch"
Carlton asked, "Should we hire security?"
Travis replied, "What for?"
Carlton simply pointed out the window. Three fans were already camping on their lawn with 'Wag Me Up Inside' signs.
---
Setting the Stage
They transformed the backyard into a canine utopia:
Ball pit zones
A "Snoot-to-Snoot" socializing corner
One shady lounge with affirmations playing on loop: "You are loved. You are floofy."
Buttermilk was appointed Grand Marshal of the Grill, a ceremonial title since she mostly napped on a picnic table.
Meatloaf wore a tiny apron that said "Grill Sergeant." He took it very seriously.
Carlton muttered, "We're hosting Coachella for canines."
---
The Guests Arrive
By noon, the backyard was full.
A pug in sunglasses. A corgi in Crocs. A poodle with a Bluetooth speaker and impeccable taste in disco.
One couple flew in from Germany. They brought handmade schnitzel-shaped dog biscuits. Travis cried.
The fans were ecstatic. There were Barkbecue games: Tug-of-War, Fetch Pong, and "Guess That Scent."
Carlton was halfway through a Pup'booch when someone shouted, "The influencer collab is here!"
Enter: Biscuit, the greyhound with 2.3 million followers.
She wore a glitter cape and her entourage had matching strollers.
---
Influencer Showdown
Biscuit demanded a "photo throne." Buttermilk refused to leave hers. Tension rose.
Fans started chanting. Travis tried to play mediator. Biscuit's handler suggested a "collab sniff."
Buttermilk responded by loudly farting and walking away.
The internet exploded. #ButtermilkUnbothered trended in 11 countries.
Biscuit's PR team stormed out. Carlton whispered, "That fart was a power move."
---
Barbecue Chaos
Around 3 PM, someone accidentally gave the Labradoodles access to the tofu patties.
Thirty seconds later, an all-out food frenzy began.
Meatloaf tried to hold the grill line.
Carlton shouted, "Save the quinoa!"
Travis got tackled by a Saint Bernard chasing a kale chip.
The kombucha fountain tipped over. The poodle disco DJ spun into a sprinkler.
Someone started howling.
It was Carlton.
---
Cleanup & Reflection
By sundown, it looked like a glitter bomb had hit a dog park.
Fans slowly dispersed, leaving behind handwritten notes like "Best day ever!" and "Can you please autograph my collar?"
Travis flopped onto the lawn. "I think I pulled something emotional."
Carlton lay beside him, covered in dog stickers. "We survived."
Buttermilk climbed onto his chest, farted once, then licked his face.
Meatloaf presented a perfectly grilled tofu slider as tribute.
They all toasted with leftover Pup'booch.
Carlton grinned. "Let's never do this again."
Travis: "Until next year?"
Carlton sighed. "...Fine."
Buttermilk barked.
And so it was decided.