"So… what's your name?" Finn asked, scratching the back of his head, genuinely curious what kind of name a former chest might have.
The mimic girl tilted her head, confused. "My name…?"
"Yes, your name. You know, like a thing people call you." He gestured around vaguely. "For example—me, I'm Finn."
"Wiggles," Majestria added in from the back, giggling like a spiteful schoolgirl.
Finn ignored her. Barely.
He pointed around the room. "That's Lickthorn,"
"Hi again~" she waved, still flushed from earlier and looking way too excited.
"Arsenio." He pointed at the wizard. "He's useless, though."
"Hey—"
"And she," Finn said with exaggerated grace, "is Lady MooMoo."
"MY NAME IS NOT LADY MOOMOO!" Majestria screeched, her face going red. "IT IS MAJESTRIA, AND I AM THE GODDESS O—"
"Don't listen to her," Finn cut in, stepping in front of the mimic girl like a human censorship bar. "She's delusional."
Majestria growled.
The mimic girl placed a clawed finger to her chin, her long black nail glinting as she tapped her lower lip. Her eyes scanned upward thoughtfully.
Then she looked back down at Finn. "I… I don't remember my name."
Finn blinked. "At all? Nothing? Do you remember how you even got here?"
She lowered her hand and shook her head slowly. "No. But… can you give me a name?" Her voice lifted with soft excitement, like a kid asking for their first pet.
Finn sighed. "You sure?"
She nodded firmly, eyes wide with anticipation.
He looked around the room, eyeing the empty chests. "Well… you were a chest. Then you turned into a hot girl. So…"
"I got it!" He smiled. "Your name shall be Chestelle. You know. Chest… girl… Chestelle. Heh."
Her eyes sparkled. "Chestelle…" she whispered, as if it were the most beautiful name she'd ever heard—which, given her amnesia, it probably was.
She immediately lunged forward and wrapped her arms around his neck, hugging him tight. Her scales pressed against his skin, her chest squished into him, and—
Finn's brain completely shut down for a second as her squishy mimic boob pressed into his chest.
'Stay cool, Wiggles. She's part chest, part monster whatever thing, and potentially lethal.'
Before the claws that were wrapped onto his neck were beginning to feel less affectionate and more "I will claw your skin."
Ow ow ow ow ow!
Her claws were digging into the back of his neck. "Ah—okay, okay, ow—too much!" He gently pushed her back. Chestelle pouted but let go.
"CAN YOU TWO NOT?!" Majestria yelled, storming over. "Stop flirting with that disgusting lizard-girl and focus!"
"I'm not flirting," Finn said defensively.
"You were blushing!" Majestria snapped.
"That was from me bleeding!"
Chestelle narrowed her eyes at Majestria. "Are you his mate or something?"
"What—NO!" Majestria practically choked. "Don't insult me!"
"You two bicker like an old married couple," Arsenio offered helpfully.
"I WILL TURN YOUR SPINE INTO A SLIDE FLUTE!" She snapped at him.
Finn blinked. "Don't pay attention to her," he muttered to Chestelle, staring toward Majestria anyway.
Still… something about Majestria's tone caught him off guard. She sounded actually serious. It was weirdly… un-Majestria-like.
But he didn't have time to dwell on it. He focused back on the mission.
The thing they'd come all this way to do.
The real reason they'd survived a pervy mimic "Fun Room," full of cursed sentient furniture.
"Right," Finn said, glancing at Arsenio.
It was time to deliver the damn box.
As Finn approached Majestria, he noticed something odd—Arsenio's gaze lingered on Chestelle a little too long, his brow furrowed, eyes narrowing in thought.
"What is it?" Finn asked, narrowing his own eyes.
"Oh, it's just…" Arsenio gestured vaguely toward Chestelle. "She reminds me of a people."
Majestria scrunched her face. "There's more of her?"
"Really?!" Finn perked up. "There's a whole race of hot mimic girls?!"
Finn immediately became more invested in the world's lore, wanting to know if there were more hot non-human girls. But also—Finn had always been a huge nerd when it came to fantasy backstories and magic systems. Like, low-key obsessed. This was his jam.
"Yes," Arsenio nodded. "I believe she's a Vaultari. A rare people. They're scaly, humanoid creatures with the power to shapeshift into objects—and occasionally into living creatures, though that's far more rare."
"Their nails make it really hard to touch themselves," Lickthorn added with scholarly enthusiasm no one asked for.
Everyone paused. Arsenio blinked slowly. "…Thanks, Lickthorn."
"Just giving out useful information," she winked.
Finn looked back at Chestelle, then returned to Arsenio. "So… do you know how she got here?"
Arsenio shook his head. "No clue. This is a first. We import these mimic chests from the Veltraza Kingdom for fun room use, but we've never had one transform like this. Especially not mid-grope."
Finn sighed, dragging a hand down his face. "Of course. Of course this only happens to me."
He muttered, half to himself: "Reminds me of that time a woman mistook me for her infant son and tried to breastfeed me…"
"…What?" Arsenio blinked.
"Huh?" Lickthorn tilted her head.
Only Majestria heard it fully. She stared at him—horrified. Yet not surprised. As if she had already known about this somewhere.
Chestelle tilted her head too, curious now.
"Let's just… forget I said that," Finn said quickly, fake-laughing. "Haha. Just a random… thought."
He walked over and snatched the box from Arsenio's hands. "Let's get this over with. Main chamber, here we come."
Majestria glared. "You mean finally."
Lickthorn was still muttering something about claws and lotion.
Chestelle clung to Finn's side like a scaly puppy.
And beard man? Beard man was catatonic—still wide-eyed and twitching from the trauma of the last twenty minutes.
And so the party moved forward.
Toward the chamber.
Toward the unknown.
Toward whatever fresh hell the world had in store for them next.
With every step toward the main chamber, Finn had the creeping sensation they were walking straight into a boss fight they were emotionally unprepared for.
And by "they," he mostly meant him.
But hey—at least the mimic girl thought he was cool.