One demon slammed face-first into the stone floor right in front of Ezgar.
Ezgar stared, utterly confused. "Get up, idiot!" he barked, stomping his foot like a toddler who dropped his snack. "How do you trip over nothing?!"
"Sorry!" the demon whimpered, scrambling back to his feet to charge again—
BAM.
Faceplant two.
Ezgar's eye twitched. He turned to the other demon standing next to him, who looked just as bewildered.
"Well? What are you standing there for? Go fight them, you useless ornament!"
"R-Right!" the blue demon nodded and took one step—
WHAM.
Down he went like a sack of sin.
Ezgar was seething. He was this close to throwing his sword off the tower when his eyes locked onto Finn.
There he was—arm extended, fingers twitching, wearing the smuggest face known to existence. Like the human embodiment of the Trollface meme. A slow, smug blink. A cocky tilt of the chin.
Ezgar snarled. "That spineless bastard…"
All across the rooftop, chaos exploded.
Swords clashed. Screams echoed. Demons fumbled. And Finn's divine trip curse worked overtime like a gremlin with a clipboard.
The two demons who had been harassing Chestelle earlier were still there—only now, they were pissed and armed.
Their swords hovered at her as she cowered on the floor, shielding her face like a toddler expecting to get smacked.
"You ugly little bitch!" the blue-skinned demon hissed, shoving his blade forward.
"Eek!" Chestelle squeaked—
POOF!
Just as the sword landed, Chestelle transformed into a chest with a snap of smoke and sparkles.
The demon's blade plunged into the chest.
The chest squealed—
Then clamped down on the demon's arm with enough force to dislocate his bloodline.
"UUAAAWOUGH!" he howled in pain, thrashing. "HELP ME, DAMN IT!" he begged the red demon beside him.
The red demon didn't hesitate. He raised his sword to strike—
And immediately tripped.
His forehead slammed directly onto the chest with a meaty CLONK.
He groaned, woozy, eyes crossing as he looked up—
Just in time to see the soles of two shoes.
WHAM!
Finn stomp-kicked him across the face like a righteous anime protagonist.
The blue demon stared at his downed comrade, then looked up to see Finn looming over him, fists clenched, radiating main-character fury.
"No one insults these girls but me!" Finn roared—
And instantly made the demon trip forward.
THUNK!
The demon's head hit the chest.
The chest squealed louder, panic-chomping harder on the demon's arm like a scared puppy in survival mode.
Meanwhile, the demon who had earlier fled from Lickthorn's cursed libido had returned—this time with his sword drawn, ready to cut her down.
Lickthorn gasped with excitement. "Finally!" she squealed, whipping out her "wand" with dangerous glee.
She pointed it forward, and the tip began to glow ominously with magical energy.
That's when Arsenio—frantic, sweaty, panicking like a man watching a toddler juggle grenades—screamed at the top of his lungs.
"YOU CAN'T USE MAGIC UP HERE!" he cried, waving his arms like a deranged lunatic. "YOU HAVE TO USE NON-MAGIC WAYS TO FIGHT!!"
Lickthorn blinked at Arsenio's panicked shouting and gave a casual, "Oh," like she was totally fine not using any magic.
Then, without missing a beat, she turned back toward the approaching demon with a gleam in her eye.
She twirled her wrist—wand in hand—and with a bizarre sproing, the "wand" turned floppy.
Floppy.
Like tragically floppy.
The demon's face twisted in absolute horror. But he clenched his jaw, forcing himself to stay composed. He wasn't going to let whatever that was scare him.
He tilted his head mockingly. "You think I'm afraid of you and your weird… floppy stick? That's just— That's just pathetic!"
He took a step forward, sword raised—
WHAP!
Lickthorn swung the floppy wand.
It smacked his sword with a disturbing squelch like someone slapped raw chicken with a pool noodle.
The demon froze.
His pupils dilated.
He looked down at the sword. Then back at the wiggling wand. Then back to her.
His soul left his body.
With a high-pitched, "N-NOPE!" the demon dropped his sword and turned tail.
He ran.
But only for two steps.
WHAM!
Faceplant.
He groaned, then looked up—
To see Finn standing over him with a maniacal smile that screamed, "Your suffering feeds me."
"You bastard!" the demon hissed.
And then…
He heard it.
A laugh.
A creepy, giggly, unholy laugh.
The demon's face paled.
He slowly turned his head—
And saw Lickthorn.
Her perverted grin stretched wide, almost Joker-like, eyes glinting with unspeakable energy as she twirled the floppy wand with terrifying confidence.
The demon screamed.
And Lickthorn leapt.
Like a deranged monkey in heat.
Straight onto him.
What started as a clean demon victory had gone entirely south.
They were losing.
To these people.
A horny elf girl, a trauma chest, a narcissistic ex-goddess, and two guys who looked like they wandered out of a failed YouTube prank channel.
Ezgar watched the carnage unfold with his jaw unhinged—literally gawking—as his fellow demons were body-slammed, tripped, humiliated, and in one case, quite literally molested into unconsciousness.
It was disgraceful.
Unforgivable.
Ezgar had seen enough of this clown show.
This was not how he wanted to make his debut. So he decided to act. Right now. This very moment. And what he unleashed… would shift the tide of battle entirely.
The group, meanwhile, was mopping up the last of the chaos.
Finn was crouched beside Chestelle, whispering reassurances like, "You're okay now, he only called you ugly twice," while she hyperventilated in chest-form.
Lickthorn was still atop her poor demon victim, cackling and… doing things. Things that made everyone uncomfortable.
Majestria wiped her hands into the air like she'd just touched something beneath divine. Well she did in a sense
And Arsenio—naturally—stood off to the side doing absolutely nothing. Looking vaguely useful but contributing zero to society.
Everything was calming down.
Until they heard it.
THUD. THUD. THUD.
A rhythm of doom echoed across the rooftop.
Everyone turned.
Chestelle squeaked and ducked behind Finn. Lickthorn paused her humping.
Majestria tensed. Arsenio flinched like a cat at a car horn.
Finn?
Finn narrowed his eyes.
"…You've got to be fucking kidding me."
Celemothy stepped forward.
Massive. Intimidating. Feathered in glory and glowing with righteous poultry rage.
He loomed above them all like the final boss in a Soulsborne game titled Cluckborne: The Yolkening.
Then…
CLAAAAWWWWK!
A thunderous, earth-shattering cluck echoed through the air.
Ezgar stepped up behind him, practically vibrating with smug energy.
He grinned, teeth bared in manic glee. "Fools! It's over for you now!"
He flung his arm out dramatically. "You should've surrendered when we so generously—so mercifully—offered you the chance!"
He began cackling like he'd just activated his ultimate trap card.
Finn stood up straight, jaw clenched, hair fried from battle.
And all he said was—
"I am so going to fuck this chicken up!"