They ascended the final staircase.
The last climb. The final chamber. The peak of this forsaken tower.
Or was it even a chamber at all—just a roof? But in any case…
Soon, they'd be done with this twisted mimic-dungeon-tower-trial-thing quest. And then, tragically, they'd return to an even greater hell: Moistvile.
But for now, they were moments away from peace.
Or so they thought.
They stood atop the very summit of the wizard tower. Smooth grey stone stretched out beneath their feet, raised edges circling the platform to keep idiots from rolling off and plummeting to their deaths. (Which, knowing Finn, was definitely a concern.)
Before them loomed the altar.
Carved from dark grey marble, the altar stood before a statue of a hooded wizard, arms raised toward the sky as if he were praising a god—or maybe just trying to praise the sun. At the center of the altar was a small round table-like divot, swirling faintly with glowing runes. Clearly, this was where the head belonged.
All around them, the tower pierced through dense, dark clouds—both above and below. Wind rolled over the platform with a steady, ominous chill. The sun hovered in the distant horizon, casting an orange-gold glow that painted the scene in eerie beauty.
It looked like something straight out of Dark Demons IV: Return of the Melancholy Fleshsmith.
Finn stood before the altar, Arsenio and the rest of the squad behind him—Lickthorn adjusting her cloak, Majestria visibly annoyed, and Chestelle clinging to Finn's side like a needy pet who wanted headpats and maybe blood.
Finn let the wind blow through his hair, sighing deeply. Finally… it's over.
No more cursed mimic girls. No more pervy furniture. No more trials, puzzles, or magical hemorrhoids. He smiled to himself like a man who had just found the uncensored version of a rare hentai manga.
This is it.
Even if it had all somehow happened in a single day, none of it mattered now. It was done.
He could finally enjoy himself.
Or he would have—
"Yea, yea. Can you hurry up now?" Majestria barked. "I want to sit down and this place doesn't exactly have lounge chairs."
"Can you let me enjoy myself for five seconds!?" Finn snapped back.
"No. Especially not after you dragged me into this world against my will." She crossed her arms under her boobs with perfect divine indignation.
He opened his mouth to argue, but—yeah. Fair. He let her have that one.
"Right…" he muttered, turning back toward the altar.
Chestelle hovered near him like a shy, horny shadow. Lickthorn sulked in the back, her choker glowing faintly—because of course it was. Was she into this? Was she into being jealous? Was this her thing?
Finn didn't have the energy to unpack that.
He pulled out Beard Man, who now resembled a drained husk of a man. His eyes were vacant. His face pale. His expression? Pure war trauma.
Like he'd stared directly into the abyss and the abyss had tried to tickle his prostate.
Finn glanced at Arsenio. "So I just stick the head in?"
Arsenio nodded. "Yes. Face upward. The tower will handle the rest."
"Sweet," Finn whispered.
He turned to the altar.
Ready to end this.
Ready to seal the deal.
Ready to put the head in the hole, unleash the light, and finally—finally—finish this godsdamned quest.
Finn placed the head gently into the glowing divot of the altar, facing it upward as instructed.
The runes carved into the table lit up with a soft blue glow, releasing a faint hum that vibrated in the air around them. A mechanical click followed—ominous, satisfying, final.
Then, the platform beneath the head began to glow.
Bright.
Brighter.
Blindingly bright—until suddenly, it all stopped.
The light vanished in an instant.
And then—FWOOOSH—streams of magical energy blasted out from both sides of the tower like synchronized cannons. A shimmering, translucent blue wall of pure magic shot out from the base of the tower and extended outward, winding across the landscape like a divine Great Wall of China. It snaked along distant hills and cliffs, cutting through clouds, wrapping terrain in a shimmering line of protection that seemed to go on forever.
It pulsed once. Glowed stronger. Then gradually settled into a calm, barely-there shimmer across the horizon.
Finn's jaw dropped.
He'd never seen anything so cool in his life. Not counting the time he got five S-rank characters in a single pull during a limited gacha event, or the moment he discovered The Busty Archives in full HD.
Still—this was insane.
Lickthorn continued to watch him with a weirdly obsessive gaze. Chestelle stood close, still skittish from her cursed chest past. Majestria, meanwhile, was perched on the edge of the roof like a smug gargoyle, arms crossed, the golden light of the sky bathing her in unearned divinity.
Arsenio stood like a proud father at a magical science fair.
"So," Finn asked, turning to him, "are we done here?"
Arsenio shook his head. "Not yet. We need to wait a few minutes while the transfer finishes. Beard Man has to stay connected until the recharge stabilizes."
Finn looked at the altar again. Beard Man's head sat there motionless, glowing faintly with raw magic, like the world's most traumatized USB stick.
"…So how does the barrier work, exactly?" Finn asked, partly out of curiosity, mostly to kill time.
Arsenio lit up like he'd just been given a mic at a convention panel. "Ah! Excellent question. The barrier was designed by the wizard founders to keep creatures out. It's not just a physical blockade—it analyzes what passes through. If it detects you as a monster or hostile entity, boom, no entry."
Finn squinted at the glowing line stretching across the horizon. "But… if that's the case, how did we get through it on the way here? Shouldn't it have stopped us? Or… at least shouldn't we have noticed it?"
Before Finn could even finish the thought, Arsenio cut in—like a man who'd been waiting for it.
"Yes, yes. The barrier is invisible and undetectable under normal conditions," he explained, hands gesturing like a TED Talk wizard. "You wouldn't have seen it, felt it, or known it existed. That's by design. It cloaks not just the towers, but itself as well. Right now, it's only visible because Beard Man is actively recharging it. Once he's done, it'll go right back to being undetectable to humans and most creatures alike."
Finn blinked, absorbing the explanation.
Or… at least, pretending to.
In reality, the words were sliding through one ear and gliding out the other with a slick, frictionless grace. His brain had already checked out, his legs were sore, and his stomach was screaming for cursed mimic meat or literally anything edible.
He was so ready to go home.
Back to Moistvile.
God help him.