I typed.Deleted.Typed again.Deleted again.
Should I? Shouldn't I? Should I?Obviously, no.Why stir up old feelings by reaching out to him again?What if I fall for him—again?Troublesome. Complicated. Risky.
But… my heart says otherwise.
"Nis, Mr. Andre's asking for the Monitoring Report again," Rini said, blowing on her still-steaming instant noodles."That's your division's task, right?"
"Nis." She shook her head. "Even dogs deserve peace while eating."
"You're not a dog," I muttered as I pulled my laptop from my bag.
"Exactly. If animal rights matter that much, shouldn't human decency count too?" she mumbled through a mouthful of noodles.
"Swallow first."
I pressed the power button on my old laptop—my loyal partner since college.
"Thanks, love." Rini grinned and went back to her noodles.
"PDF or Word?"
"Send both. I'm tired of resending stuff. I gave him a flash drive, sent it on WhatsApp, Gmail, even via telepathy—still he asks for it again. He already has it! Ugh."
"Yeah, yet you keep smiling like the happiest staff alive every time you see him," I said as I hit send on both file formats. "Done."
"Thanks, Nis. I told you, one of the little pleasures of being staff is talking behind your boss's back," Rini slurped the last drop of broth."And having instant noodles every morning."She laughed, tossing the empty cup into the trash bin.
A new message popped up on my phone.
Arga: "So, what do you think, Nis?"
I stared.Then typed: "Okay."
Just a simple reply.A proper ending, not a sudden disappearance.That's what I told myself.Was I just justifying it?
My logic protested.But this... this was just closure.Right?
Oh heart, I warned you.Logic's had enough of your stubbornness.
The rest of the day went by as usual.A meeting with the team to address Parliament's concerns from last week.Then, finishing the character campaign survey report.
At 3:50 PM, I logged my activities, packed up, and did my fingerprint scan at 4:01.
"Teng... go time. Meeting someone?" Rini teased."Gojek guy or Grab guy this time?"
"Just another single soul, wasting time," I shrugged."Not either of them."I lowered my voice. Only Rini could hear.
"Who, Nis? Finally opening your heart to someone new?" she whispered, her tone sharp but playful—always knowing her place. That's why she's my best friend.
I stayed silent.Opening my heart to someone else?No, Rin... it's still the same person.
The same guy.The only one who ever reached my heart.
The only story I could share if you ever asked about my love life—because it would feel unfair if only you had one to tell.
Still him.Always him.
"This isn't about feelings, okay? I'm not opening my heart. Not like I ever closed it in the first place," I grumbled.
"Ugh. I'm confused by you. Back at the training, four guys tried to talk to you. Why ignore them?"
"I tried, Rin. I really did. Got to know each of them. But none of them aligned with my values. Two were just emotionally clingy. The moment I asked them to meet my family, they ran."
"Ukhti girls always confuse me. Who challenges a guy to meet the parents right away? What about dating first?"
"You even know what 'ukhti' means? Did you study Arabic now?" I smirked.
"Not really," Rini grinned."But girls with hijabs like yours? My friends call them 'ukhti-ukhti.'"
"Call it what you want. This is just a casual meet-up. A friend meeting a friend. Like when I eat with you."
"But he's a guy. That's different. I'm a girl."
"Alright, everyone, I'm heading out!" I stood up, ending the chat.
"Good luck! You got this!" Rini yelled back with a mischievous grin and squinted eyes. Like a sly fox.
She's not wrong, though.
This might be the first time in years I'm meeting a guy for a meal.And that guy is... Arga Pangestu Jati.
Am I doing the right thing?
One thing I know: disappearing like a ghost is childish.Cutting off a friendship this long? That's just cruel.
But... can good intentions really silence something that's starting to bloom again?
The ride from Building C of the Ministry to FX Sudirman was filled with drizzle.I didn't bring an umbrella today.Just my fading red hooded jacket, worn thin from overuse.
Turns out, the rain doesn't just soak your clothes.It pulls you back.
To memories.To the past.Like a scene from Your Name.
Memories I'd worked so hard to hush.But this rain...It feels exactly like that day.
The second time I met Arga—at the student hall.
And just like that rainy evening, I knew...Rain always finds a way.
To bring you back—To memories...Or to someone who was only meant to be one.