I began the story with a sigh. Not by staring at Rini, but by leaning back against the headboard and hugging the soft white pillow on my lap. I turned my gaze toward the window—half of the curtain was drawn, letting a shy glow of dusk spill into the room.
Rini didn't interrupt or distract me. She simply sat there in silence, facing me with her legs dangling off the bed.
"It was just like this evening—the first time I met Tio. My second day living away from home, in Jogja. We had our first meetup for the university orientation, near the east wing of GSP. PPSMB—that's what they called UGM's orientation program back then."
I recalled the first impression I had of Tio."He was late. The only one in our group who showed up late."The scene from six years ago started playing vividly in my head, and I let the memory flow into words for Rini to hear.
He walked toward our group casually, a DSLR camera hanging around his neck. It was just an informal meeting with our student mentor, but all the freshmen were still dressed formally. Except for him. He stood out.
He wore a white collared polo shirt, a pair of grey semi-denim trousers that hugged his long legs, and white Adidas sneakers that matched his top. No backpack like the rest of us—just a camera bag slung across his shoulder. Probably empty except for a phone and wallet.
He made his way to our mentor, Mbak Hesti, who wore the yellow campus blazer. I couldn't hear what he was saying—maybe an apology or some typical excuse to explain his tardiness.
"Nis, he's totally my type," whispered my new friend, Sekar, from Veterinary Medicine. I just nodded and smiled faintly. Did I look weird? I had no idea what I was supposed to do.
I couldn't deny it—he was handsome. Sharp nose, flawless fair skin. I didn't stand a chance. He was tall and well-built too. Not just your type, Kar, but mine as well. Maybe every girl's. I even noticed how Mbak Hesti wasn't scolding him—she was blushing with twinkling eyes.Come on, the world really does favor the pretty ones.But then again, I've never believed in love at first sight. Especially not for looks.
"Alright, the last member of our group will introduce himself briefly," announced Mbak Hesti, grabbing everyone's attention. We were all freshmen—if she told us red was green, we'd nod in agreement. Any announcement, no matter how small, we'd listen.
"Hi everyone, I'm Muhammad Bima Anantio. You can call me Bima."Yup, that was the entirety of his 'brief' introduction.
"Oh my Godness, he's literally born to be cool," Rini cut into my story like a karaoke sound effect.
"Cool as in refrigerator?" I teased.
"You just ruined the moment!" Rini threw a pillow at me again. This time, I decided to keep it—before she tried a third throw.
"So why did he say his name's Bima, but you call him Tio?"
"Nicknames change. Depends on who's calling you, right?" I smiled innocently, trying to hide something from Rini. Correction: not hiding—just… not disclosing.
"So how did you two end up as best friends? Is Tio the popular type? How many rivals am I up against?"Rini started shooting questions like a machine gun.
"Are you planning to analyze, strategize your moves, evaluate your PDKT efforts daily, and report them monthly?" I joked—our typical work jargon.
"Still didn't answer me, Nis," she pouted again.
"Yeah, he's got a lot of admirers. But don't worry. If he's not interested, he won't lead anyone on. No mixed signals, no waiting games, no hot and cold treatment."He's not like someone else.I was getting annoyed again, remembering another person not part of this story.
"Go take a shower, it's almost maghrib. You first—I want to keep watching the sunset," I said as I tossed the pillow back at her.
"Ugh, but I'm still so curious. What can I do? It's love. I've stayed up all night stalking BTS and Jimin for years," Rini whined.
"Years, huh?" I rolled my eyes.
"Yayaya, fine. I'll go first since you're being kind for once."Rini grabbed her change of clothes from her backpack, playing hard to get."You're like that NKCTHI book—poetic, too contemplative, full of secrets."
"What does that even mean?" I chuckled, confused by her description.
"Nothing, really. I just wonder about your past sometimes. Seems like it's complicated."
"Nothing is ever simple when it comes to humans, right?"
Rini just nodded deeply, then headed to the bathroom. A few seconds after the door closed, I heard the soft rhythm of the shower.
I got up from the bed and walked toward the two chairs by the window. I pulled the curtains all the way open, letting the orange dusk pour in shamelessly. Then, I turned one of the chairs toward the view and sat down.Eleventh floor—I could see the open sky, the streets, the endless buildings.
"I'm sorry, Rin. It's not that I don't trust you. You're a good person. Truly.The problem is me.I didn't realize how hard it would be to rebuild friendship again.Everyone knows that every meeting comes with the possibility of parting.But not everyone knows how much that parting can hurt.And not everyone survives that pain."
I spoke softly, eyes still fixed on the twilight that was slowly fading into night.Darkness would fall soon.
My thoughts wandered back to the part of the story I hadn't told Rini yet.Tio—one of the most beautiful gifts God has ever given me.And honestly, I could talk about you forever. One full moon wouldn't be enough.