"For you, Nis."Arga handed me two bars of Silver Queen Raisin chocolate.
"One's for Ama," he added. "Where is she?"
"Bathroom," I replied flatly.
"Why so cold?"
"I don't like chocolate."
"Oh. Sorry."
"We've been best friends for months and you don't know I hate chocolate? Raisins, even."
"What do you like then?"
"Whatever."
I pouted. I never liked chocolate, especially not with raisins. Maybe with cashews or almonds, sure.But still—I finished it to the last bite, just because it was from Arga.
He laughed.Right above my jealousy.
You wouldn't know, Ga, how painful it is.To be the bridge for the one you love… to reach someone else.
That was the story behind the photo I was now staring at.
I had just opened it from a forgotten folder on my hard drive, right after our encounter at FX Mall earlier today.It was a photo of the three of us—me, Arga, and Ama.
We were all holding chocolate and smiling.Arga's smile glowed with love.Ama looked cheerful, thrilled by free chocolate.And me?Just a fake smile.
It's okay, Nis.Everyone goes through a hard season.Loving him for five years wasn't a waste.It was part of your story.What matters is, you're no longer blindly in love.You'll be okay.You'll find your true prince someday.And thank God, it won't be Arga Pangestu Jati.
I swiped to the next photo.
The folder: Ama.Full of just us.
There was one from the faculty orientation program—our group was called Helminthology.Our very first proper interaction was on that chaotic first day.
"Anyone late, step forward!" a senior had barked.
Ama and I stepped out, nervous wrecks.We were punished with memorizing ten Latin names of species from the Biology Garden.
"Nis!" Ama had shouted.I turned quickly. "What? A snake?"
She shook her head. "Your scarf!"
Oh, no.A heron poop. Probably from the resident grey heron. Disgusting.
I flinched in horror.Ama rushed over and pulled out wet wipes from her bag—something I never carried.
"Stay still," she said softly.
After cleaning my hijab, we both burst into laughter."I still smell like bird poop," I groaned.
Ama smirked and pulled out a lavender-scented Wardah perfume."Mission complete."
That was our beginning.
From that day, I knew Ama was genuine—kind, thoughtful, a true friend.
"I miss you, Ma."I smiled faintly as another photo slid into view.
Me feeding her cheesecake on her birthday.Us sneaking to the library rooftop for sunset selfies.Our 'trying-too-hard' pics at the Floating Mosque.Ama tagging along while I bought white mice for my physiology lab experiment.
She was there. Always.Through every boring lab hour and every tedious task.
"Nis. Isn't it funny?"
"What?"
"Us."
I looked up while putting fresh bedding in the mouse cage. "What about us?"
"We're so different. You're the numbers girl, I'm all about design. You're dramatic, I'm chill. You dress like a hurricane hit you, I'm a stylist. You nap in class, I stay alert."
"Why do I sound like the loser in this list?" I grumbled.
She laughed. "But we're still best friends. We understand each other. We tolerate each other. Isn't that kind of amazing?"
"Even our type of guy is different," she added. "No need to fight over one like in those cliché dramas."
"What if someday we fall for the same guy?" I asked on impulse.
"We won't."
"I said if."
"Well, then we fight for him! Hair-pulling, drama-style. No backing down. That's not our thing."
I burst out laughing.That was Ama. Playful. Honest. Real.
I stroked the screen with a trembling finger.
You were right, Ma.We'd never like the same guy.But the only guy I ever liked… liked you.And you never knew.You were that unaware.
"I'm sorry, Ma."Tears streamed down my face."For all the annoying things I did in our friendship."
I sobbed.Curled into a ball and turned off my phone.Tonight, I missed Ama so much.But we no longer talk.All I can do is send silent prayers—for her, for her happiness.
🎵 Let today be better than yesterday...The soft strumming of Nosstress filled the morning air.
I sat up.Recited my wake-up prayer.Noticed my socks were still on.And my eyes… puffy.
I sighed.Pulled them off, stood in front of the mirror.
"Hey, girl. Listen to your alarm and start the day with joy. Today is yours. Every day is yours."
I smiled faintly.Fist clenched.Self-pep talk:Yes. Meetings come with goodbyes.What was I expecting—forever?
******"Yo Princess. I'm home! Better not forget to welcome me."
A WhatsApp message lit up my screen.After a month-long silence.I didn't even need to check the name.Only one person calls me Princess—Tio.
God really is kind.He sent Tio back… right in the middle of my storm.
"Hey global creature. Thought you got stuck in the US.""Last night, I swear I heard someone call my name three times. Come home, Yo. I miss you."
Liar.I didn't call you.But… you're right. I did miss you.
"Read only? Seriously? LOL.""-_- You think I've got nothing better to do than miss you?""Hey, I'm a government worker now. Chill, remember?""Yeah, right. Turns out I work overtime most days. Need a pickup?""Weird seeing you act like you care. You okay?""Totally. Guess you still can't accept kindness from me.""Haha. No need. Everywhere I go, it's the prince who's supposed to come to the princess."
I left him on read.Almost two years.And he's still the same. So silly. So loud. So… Tio.
Still single.Of course.Unless… he's like me—committed to staying away from dating.Or maybe just too picky.
Whatever.All I know is—my favorite trash can is finally home.