So it is Friday, before the big date...
I'm currently walking down the street with Yūma.
And following right behind us are a pair of really, really, really, depressed lackeys taking mental notes on how to pick up chicks.
Sorry Issei and Motohama, I am teaching you the wrong things to do!
At that moment, instead of holding Yūma's waist, I grab her ass and said
"Yūma my Dear, make sure you are fully ready for our first date! It is going to be a night you won't forget! Oh, Tell your Mom you might be late, or even better, you'll be back in the morning! Now give The Great Me his well deserved goodbye kiss!"
I actually am disgusted at this shit I'm spouting, even against the woman that wants to kill me.
I would never treat Kala like this, but Raynare has no good intentions behind this.
I know, because my Sacred Gear is constantly warning me of danger around Yūma, it's super creepy!
On the flip-side... No matter what crap I do to Raynare (Yūma), she just smiles and obediently goes along with my bullshit.
She is dedicated to her acting role, that's for damn sure.
The other nice thing about what I did just now, is the looks on Issei and Motohama are of devastation, that I'm doing what I am, and the girl is doing it with a smile, it's fake but she keeps it up!
Mwah~! After a hot sloppy couple minute kiss, in front of the two broken men... Thwack~! I smacked her firm bottom and said.
"Run along to your High School, and be a good girlfriend!"
Oh~shit!
I just witnessed real killing intent from Yūma, like in all those Chinese Wuxia novels!
She replied with a forced smile, and gritted teeth.
"Oh, Sweetie, I wouldn't miss our first date for anything. I have so many good places to take you, especially my special private place at sunset! Love you! Bye, and good-bye Matsuda's friends!"
She then walks off to who knows where, because it isn't Catholic High School!
-
After a few moments...
Motohama mutter's in disbelieving jealousy.
"She... She said she was going to show y-you her special p-place!!!"
If he only knew it was for a fountain side sunset stabbing, he would run!
Issei hands me his smartphone, and says with pleading eyes.
"Please Bro, take my smartphone and when you're done, get me some titty shots! Then send me my phone Monday, huff huff, I'll do anything you want for this favor!"
I think I broke Issei, and his nose is bleeding a bit!
I yell at him!
"Not kissing and telling, assholes, haha!"
-
Scooby-Doo flashes forward, to a half hour before game time...
So my master plan is... To hope Rias Gremory gives me a summoning pamphlet for insurance!
But If I don't get one, I will cut my losses and bail on Raynare!
I'm not going to die to the Starter Boss, not like Issei did in the very first anime episode of Highschool D×D!
It's sad just thinking about that scene... Thinking of boobs at the end. (Sigh, Murphy, do it!)
No, the summoning flyer is to see if Rias is noticing me.
I don't intend to summon her, I will just go to the Occult Research Club after this, and get invited without pain and suffering!
Bleeding out like a little bitch is a sign of a bad Protagonist!
I'm actually not afraid of Raynare, due to being immune to her Light Weapon attacks... I have to sink into the earth and run.
"I'm a fucking genius!"
Bat Girl is fucking late!
Damn when Raynare gets here, I will say I gotta pee and then run!
Don't care about looking like a pussy if you want to run... I memorized The Art of War book!
"Excuse me Sir, have a flyer!"
A cute voice suddenly brings me out of my fathomless-stratagems, and look at who called me?
Fuck yes! It's a Bat Girl!
She is trying to politely hand me the flyer... I snatch it fast, and say impatiently.
"Thanks for the coupon, but my date is coming so scram... Thanks!"
I'm rushing her, because in the show Yūma Amano shows up immediately after.
Rias was sloppy in the timing of granting wishes, so unprofessional!
I forgot which pocket the flyer is supposed to go in?!
"Oh~fuck? Well the back-pocket wins!"
At that moment, like anime magic...
"Sorry I'm late..."
I cut her off and said rudely.
"Damn, I have been here for a half hour! You really need to make it up to me!"
Insert punchable face here!
Bitch, your killing intent is overwhelming before you even greeted me!
Of course some humiliation for my opponent is due.
It will be a loooong time till sunset, so buckle up buttercup, for the ride!
So let's see if I can make her stab me before sunset, or will she bend over and take humiliation!?
Hey Rias, if you're watching, am I a good Devil!?
-
I won't go through all the mental and insulting abuse I put Raynare through on our lame date...
I'm actually willing to let her punch me one time, because I really worked her over!
Yūma Amano's Rage-Meter is currently over 9000!
And here we are at the fountain, at the park right where she and Issei were in the first episode...
She is super devoted to the details, and is secretary material!
After her scripted stupid song-and-dance she does before each killing, she whispered into my ear with such a cute smile...
"Will you die for me, Matsuda?"
I said without pause to her!
"Fuck no! Plus you're too weak to kill me, also Azazel would hate it if you killed his family, right?!"
All is going according to plan!
She looks irritated that I spoiled her climax, and declares!
"Well since you are related to him, then you really need to die! I'm here against orders! Do you think I'm stupid enough to leave loose ends?!"
A pair of black Fallen Angel wings extended from her smaller body, and she didn't even wear her bondage outfit she showed in the anime, fuck!
Raynare instantly made 4 Spears of Light form, and sneered...
"Who is weak now?"
Most don't know, but Kala told me, Raynare is the strongest with Light Weapons, especially out of the group that came with her.
Swoosh Swoosh Swoosh Swoosh~! 4 dark pink jagged Light Spears flew to hit me... but I just smiled and took it, showing off.
I then call out my Sacred Gear!
"Eyes of Creation, go!"
I just let her weapons bounce off me and let my Sacred Gear manifest...
"If that's all you have, it is all over for you, Raynare!"
I put my hands behind my back, just daring her to shoot more dark pink Spears, this is fun!
I'm too overpowered!
This should make her run, because I rather not kill her if I can help it.
But against my expectations, she didn't continue to shoot Light Spears, but showed her cards.
"So it's true, you did kill Kalawarna! The priest found you in a video, and placed you at the scene. That whore sold me out, huh?!"
Raynare then smiled wickedly... and I didn't like that smile!
My Eyes of Creation was in super danger mode for some reason!
The Fallen Angel saw through me, and extended her black wings!
I think I fucked up?! (Yup!)
Whoosh Flap Flap~! Raynare flew up about 15 feet above me, and then hurled her [Feathers] at me, by flapping both black wings in my direction?!
Puff Puff Puff Puff Puff Puff Puff Puff~! Dozens of dagger-like black feathers sprayed my area, and many bloody holes were left!
I-I was too late to cast a barrier!
I had never seen a Fallen Angel in the anime do this, and I was caught flatfooted! (In season 2 it did get shown, he just forgot.)
I looked down at my body, riddled with dagger-like feathers.
At least twenty of them, and there is a lot of blood leaking out of me.
Thud~! I fell to my back like a Blood Angel... looking up into the sky in horror of what just happened!
(Anime Issei flips Mat a middle finger for dying like a bitch also.)
-
(Fallen Angels have the ability of flight via their feathered wings, their wings have also been shown to retract into their backs as if they've completely disappeared. The Fallen Angels can use the feathers of their wings as projectiles to pierce their opponents, with the feathers being as hard as steel and are also capable of using their wings for both offense and defense.)
I had a best friend from Earth zero, don't remember his name, but I now remember when we talked about this show at work!
He told me about a wiki to read, but I never did... I now really regret not reading it like he said...
At the moment Matsuda fell on his back, with blood over his torso and legs, his Sacred Gear vanished into motes of golden lights.
-
Then Raynare laughed and said on her way out...
"Hahaha, Who is weak now you little cocky bitch? Have fun pissing and shitting yourself when you die of blood loss! Thanks for the date asshole!"
Flap Flap Whoosh~! Then the bitch flew off.
Wow, she didn't even stay to finish me off?!
Oh... I see, dying alone is worse, huh?
Thanks to my enhanced Cognitive Thinking, what should have felt like 10 minutes of a person's final moments, is now feeling like an hour...
So many thoughts of how stupid I am, and why is my regeneration not strong enough to heal this, flowed in my mind.
Wolverine would be like... This ain't shit punk!
I wish my Wife would have told me Fallen Angels could do this... but she probably didn't think I was dumb enough to face Raynare...
I'm sorry my Wife... Unless help comes, I'm not going to be able to reunite with you.
Oh, And my poor parents...
And Precious...
Even my two dipstick friends...
Never got to see that white string bikini either, damn!
I don't know how to use the summoning flyer!
I thought it only needed blood (no blood, just a wish), damn maybe Bat Girl was going to tell me how to use it, and I pushed her away.
I was too confident, what Great Me? Bullshit!!
That summoning flyer is definitely loaded in blood, and nothing, fuck me!
Sorry Big G, I messed up your gift of sending me here.
Will I just go to yet another world?
I don't feel good about transmigrating or reincarnating anymore.
I think this is my last run, Big G...
I won't remember this moment anyway...
You asked me to do one thing, and I fucked it up...
Why did you want me to give Rias's boobs a big squeeze for you anyway? (2 reasons actually.)
Rias is kinda dumb as a hot box of rocks, but she was really cute...
"I think... I would marry her if I had the chance..." (A wish was made.)
Plus I didn't get to help Akeno or the Nekoshou Sisters...
"Cough, I think, what I hate the most... isn't seeing... my... favorite... maid... ever... Grayfia..."
-
Matsuda's thoughts finally ended there and he slowly bleeds out, full of regrets, just as God said not to do in the beginning...
Unknown to Matsuda, the moment he began thinking of Rias, and the quest for grabbing her breasts from God, a glowing crimson Gremory magic symbol surrounded him.
His wish was granted...
Let's see if he can remove his regrets this time?