Chapter 19 – The Compound Courtroom
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"Open this door o! We no go gree until una explain everything! Compound no be graveyard!"
The banging was louder now, like they came with pots and anger. From the sound of it, Mama Yakubu, Uncle Monday, and Aunty Fadeke were already leading the committee of concerned neighbours.
Femi sighed and opened the door.
Boom, like film, the whole compound rushed in.
Mama Dorcas, who had just arrived with her famous early morning Bible and suspicion, stopped at the doorway and blinked. She saw Madam Eunice sitting upright on the couch, legs crossed, scarf intact.
She gasped. "Blood of Zachariah!"
Madam Eunice gave a small wave. "I missed you too, Dorcas."
"Witchcraft!" someone whispered from the back.
Baba Tunde, the self-appointed "compound lawyer", stepped forward with a plastic folder and a whistle.
"Since una no fit settle this peacefully, this compound hereby sets up a courtroom. Right here. Right now."
Aunty Fadeke dropped a bench like she was slamming a gavel.
"Everybody sit down jare! Madam Eunice, explain yourself! Are you alive, dead or spiritually paused?"
Temi glanced at Femi. "This one don pass Netflix."
Madam Eunice stood up slowly. "Good morning o, my people. I know say una no dey carry last for amebo, so I'll talk once."
The crowd went quiet.
"I left this house on purpose. I was not kidnapped. Not poisoned. Not cursed. I left, because someone in this very compound was blackmailing me."
"Ah!"
"Jesu!"
"Who?"
Her eyes moved to Aunty Sade.
Aunty Sade stood, hands shaking. "Don't listen to her! She's just angry because I, I refused to be part of her herbal nonsense!"
"Herbal nonsense?!" Madam Eunice laughed. "Na me give you herbal nonsense when your third husband wanted to use your pant for rituals!"
Gasps everywhere.
Mama Dorcas crossed her arms. "Ehen. Now this is what I came for."
Uncle Monday raised his hand like primary school. "Sorry o. Are we saying someone in this house faked a disappearance, scattered family, and almost started World War 3?"
"Yes," Femi replied.
"And who be that person?" Baba Tunde asked.
Everyone looked at Aunty Sade.
Silence.
Then a voice from the back whispered:
"Bring the red bag."
🛑 To be continued...
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