I went to work to get into Louise, having no compunctions, it seemed to
me the most natural thing in the world. I had read about the naughtiness
of seduction, but my associates had taught me, that every girl wanted
fucking, and was longing secretly for it, high, or low, rich or poor, it
was the same. As to servants, and women of the humbler class, that they
all took cock on the quiet, and were proud of having a gentleman to
cover them. Such was the opinion of men in my class of life and of my
age. My experience with my mother's servants corroborated it; and so to
get into Louise seemed both natural and proper.
I suppose there is but one way ordinarily of beginning with a woman.
A man must first make himself agreeable, then successively familiar,
endearing, coaxing, loose, bold, baudy, determined, then if needs be
fierce, or even violent. This order comes naturally to man cunt-hunting,
and ends in fucking. It does not follow that if the early stages pass
easily, that the last shall ensure success. Occasionally the woman is
scared, put on her guard against herself, and the man, and the chance is
lost.
This course had become familiar to me at home, and I began. No person in
the house except Camille and Madame Boileau spoke French; there was no
other to speak at all, so my conversation was acceptable. At the end of
a week I had kissed her to her contentment. No strong, healthy woman of
eighteen is otherwise than gratified by the kisses of a young man. Money
I knew now told much, and I gave to her who had never perhaps had five
shillings to call her own. She gave me a kiss in the dark passage, I
hugged her and pushed outside at her cunt, she ran upstairs angry, but
had forgot it the next day.
Looking at her and longing used to make me randy, then if near,
Camille's cunt got the benefit of it. The girl used to eye us when we
went into the bed-room. She had a quarrel with her mistress, and said
she should go home. Camille said she might; but speaking only French,
and without money, how could she? Just then, through change of climate
and living, she fell ill.
We were very kind to her. I got her everything. When asleep one day,
Camille partly uncovered her, and showed me her limbs naked; they were
so fine, and so excited me, that but for Camille, I think I should have
ravished her. She soon got well, and I said, that if I did not soon have
her, I should cease seeing her. "Who hindered?" Camille asked. There she
was, I might have her.
Then I had a suspicious fit. All the old Major had told me about fellows
being sold, and taken in by women who were not virgins came to my mind.
The girl was never out but for a few minutes at a time to fetch things,
yet other men saw Camille, and some might have seen and had the girl.
Camille had once taken her out in a cab; she might have been to some
man's. So I said I would not give the money unless I saw her virgin cunt
first. After a day or two, Camille agreed to it if I would give her ten
pounds down, and would swear never to disclose it to the girl.
I thought still I was to be fooled, so I called upon my old
schoolfellow, who used to say, "Snatch at her cunt, and show her your
cucumber." He had been one at the frigging match, and had just been
appointed assistant-surgeon at a hospital; he was a bachelor and
baudy-minded as ever. "M...," said I, "have you ever seen a virginity?"
"Many," he replied, "I have dissected them, and if girls have anything
the matter with their wombs, or cunts, we get a look, they don't mind a
doctor. If a girl has piles, I make her turn up, and have opened several
fine women's virgin cunts, asking questions all the while, if they feel
this or feel that. They say yes or no, which of course I knew they
would say, but they think I am very clever for asking. Some like a
young doctor's fingers on their privates, though they say they object.
Assistants only get the chance with the poor, the better classes have
older married men."
I asked him to explain one to me on a woman, and he did. We went home
with the same women; they were astonished, for instead of pulling our
pricks out, we both merely felt and looked at them, and he gave me a
full lecture. It was an odd sight to see him explaining the situation of
a virginity, I holding a candle to see better. One of the girls roared
with laughter, the others fancied they had some ailments, when they
found out he was a doctor, and he gave them advice.
I don't mean ailments of their cunts. We did not fuck either of the
women.
From reading, his descriptions, his sketches and what he pointed out on
three different cunts, I felt satisfied that I should know a virgin, and
told Camille what I had done. She was then good enough to point out to
me on her own cunt, where her virginity had been, as far as she could
recollect it. She was quite sure about Louise, and explained that girls
being with their parents in France were well watched; that the loose
pricks about a town were all taken by the married women,--which I did
not believe.