One night I was to see it, I waited for a signal from a window, of two
lights, rushed across the road and was let in by Camille. We went into
Louise's bedroom. There the girl lay in her night-dress on the bed,
insensible. "We must be quick," said Camille. Then she threw the girl's
clothes rapidly up above her naval, gently pulled apart her legs, and
held open the lips of the girl's cunt. It was such as had been described
to me. My excitement was fearful. She was a splendid limbed woman,
looked twenty-five instead of eighteen years old. Her cunt-hair
jet-black, crisp and thick as on a negress' head, grew up her mens and
down besides the lips. The vermillion stripe in the midst of it was
enough to drive any man mad. I put out my hand to touch it, but Camille
pulled it back. "No, no," she said in a suppressed voice, "you must go,
you promised me." "Let me fuck then." "No, go at once." She pulled me
towards the door, the girl was breathing heavily. Wild with lust, I
pulled out my prick. "Come away, you promised, she must see neither of
us." "One look more then." Again Camille opened the cunt-lips.
As she did so, Louise gave a groan, and turned round on one side opening
her eyes wide. Camille blew out the light, and pulled me into the
sitting-room. "You must go," she said. I wanted to fuck her, but she
would not let me.
I met a woman in Regent street, it was raining hard. Much as I still
hesitated at going with strange, gay women, I went home with her, threw
her down with her clothes on. The instant I saw her cunt, and almost
before I could get my prick out I spent over her bum and thighs. She
remarked, "You did want it, and no mistake." I left, got down to the
Italian Opera. Crowds of women walked under the Colonade, they often
then wore low dresses walking. I went to a baudy house with one, and
fucked her thinking of the black-haired motte and lips between the
thighs of the unconscious Louise.
I never knew what Camille had given the girl. She said she had made her
drunk with champagne. Louise on a subsequent day said she had got drunk
with champagne, but she never knew that I had seen her on that night.
I believe that something else had been given to her to make her
insensible. There was a convulsive movement in her body as she turned
round; her limbs before she did so seemed dead, her breathing resembled
a groan, her breast heaved distressingly, she opened her eyes, but saw
nothing. The more I reflected, the less I understood the agitation of
Camille, who usually was so calm.
I had seen the girl's virgin cunt, and recollect the look of pussy,
belly, thighs, and slit. The cunt-hole as I held the candle near it
seemed to be covered, excepting a little perforation just big enough
to put a little finger through, corresponding with my surgical friend's
description; yet I seemed to have less recollection of it than of all
the rest of her body. It was confused, strange, like the remains of a
dream on my mind. So much had suspicion taken possession of me, that I
was by no means now sure I was not being done. I paid Camille the ten
pounds. When she had got them, she said she expected the fifty pounds
all the same, that the cunt inspection was a preliminary she had not
bargained for. I thought I was being cheated, and said so. We had a
row, but such a fool was I, so much desire had I to get into this
girl,--simply because she was a virgin,--that at last I agreed to it.
The girl could not get up the next day. I saw her in her bed by
myself; she said she had been ill through eating something, and had had
champagne. I caressed her, and in spite of her struggles, got my hands
on her breasts and half-way down her belly, spoke baudy, pulled out my
prick, was repulsed, and gave her a sovereign. Camille came back and
I fucked her. I recollect telling Camille, that there was a wonderful
likeness in face, colour of hair, eyes, limbs, and even in cunt, between
her and her servant. Camille laughed and said, the two families had
always been thought to be much alike, and were related.
Louise became inquisitive about my intimacy with Camille. "Was I her
lover? Was I fond of her?" "Yes I had been, but was not now." "Why did I
come there?" "To see you, my dear."
When Louise first arrived Camille was particular in not exposing her own
legs or breast to me. Before that she used in warm weather to be with
naked breasts, a chemise and slippers often being her only garments. Now
she got into slipshot dressing again, and began to talk baudy. She had
told Louise how she got her living, and talked about making money by
fucking, so she told me; but she would not let me take any liberties
with her before Louise. She went out leaving me alone with her, taking
my money when she returned. It is a wonder to me now how I stood all
this, felt I was being humbugged, played with, and yet things went on as
I describe. Three weeks had elapsed, or more, and yet I had never felt
Louise's cunt. So I told Camille she was humbugging me. Louise got funny
in her behaviour to Camille, said she would or wouldn't, and one day
they had a quarrel, in which Louise insolently remarked about something
she wanted, that Camille would do well not to show the point of her nose
in the village any more. When alone I said to Camille, I was not to
have the girl I supposed. Who hindered me? "Help me." "How?" Being in
a blackguard humour I said, "Make her drunk, and then I will have her."
No, it should never be said that that happened in her rooms; if a woman
let a man of her own free will, well and good; if he got into her fair
and square, good; a woman might do what she liked,--it was natural to
have a man;--if Louise liked it, it was not her business; but she would
not have her made drunk.