Scene 1: Half-Baked Training
(Setting: Kame House.pervy training mode on.)
Goku (sweating, breathing hard):
"Master Roshi... this nipple twisting, hair pulling, butt slapping... it's harder than Kamehameha training!"
Roshi (wheezing, barely standing):
"OF COURSE, you idiot!! This is the highest martial art! This is... THE ART OF LOVE!!"
Goku (innocently blinking):
"But Master... no matter how many pillows I practice on... nothing's happening! It's like my energy won't charge up!"
Roshi (facepalming hard):
"Kami-damn it, Goku!! You're too innocent! Your brain is like... tofu! Smooth, soft, and EMPTY!!"
(Roshi collapses dramatically, holding his chest.)
Roshi (dramatic anime tears):
"If only... if only there was someone... someone powerful enough... to inject 'experience' directly into your thick skull!"
(Goku stares at Roshi, then slowly turns toward the glowing Dragon Balls lying near the house.)
Goku (bright idea lightbulb):
"I got it!! Let's summon Shenron!!"
Roshi (panicking):
"W-Wait, that's not what I—"
(Too late. Goku is already collecting the balls happily like a kid picking apples.)
---
Scene 2: Summoning Shenron
(Epic background music. Clouds swirl, lightning cracks. Goku stands proudly, fists on hips.)
Goku (screaming at the sky):
"OHHHHH MIGHTY DRAGON!! GET YOUR LAZY BUTT DOWN HERE!!"
(BOOM!! Shenron emerges, glowing golden green.)
Shenron (deep, annoyed voice):
"WHO DARES SUMMON ME FOR FOOLISH MORTAL WISHES?!"
Goku (waving like an idiot):
"Yo, big green lizard! I wanna learn all the ultimate sexy techniques in the whole universe!!"
(Dead silence. Waves stop. Birds stop mid-air. Even Roshi freezes mid-scratch.)
Shenron (blinking slowly):
"...Excuse me... what?"
Goku (serious, nodding):
"I wanna make Chi-Chi scream louder than a dying Namekian frog!"
Shenron (sweat dripping from huge dragon forehead):
"I... I grant immortality, resurrection, planetary travel... BUT NOT... BEDROOM... TECHNIQUES!!"
Roshi (kneeling like a samurai):
"PLEASE, OH HOLY DRAGON!! Save this world from endless generations of idiots!! If he doesn't learn... humanity is doomed!!"
(Shenron sighs heavily, like a tired government employee.)
Shenron (grumbling):
"Fine. I'll try..."
(Shenron's eyes glow. He fires a big glowing pinkish beam directly into Goku's forehead in very slow motion.)
Dead silence for few minutes
(The beam hits Goku. For a moment, Goku floats mid-air, eyes closed.)
Roshi (hopeful whisper):
"It's working... it's working!!"
(Suddenly, Goku's eyes snap open.)
Goku (screaming in pain):
"AAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!! SO MANY PICTURES!! SO MANY NAKED PEOPLE!!! WHAT'S A UPSIDE-DOWN DOUBLE-LEG CRAB CLUTCH TECHNIQUE?!"
(Goku's hair frizzes. His body glows white. Then — PUFF!! — smoke everywhere.)
(When smoke clears, Goku stands there... exactly the same. Dumb smile. Zero knowledge.)
Goku (scratching head):
"...So... did I win?"
Shenron (falling mid-air):
"HOW?!?! HOW CAN SOMEONE BE THIS PURE?! MY POWER... IS USELESS!!"
(Shenron coils around himself in defeat, muttering.)
Shenron (muttering like a broken robot):
"No magic... no jutsu... no divine knowledge... can penetrate... this stupid level of innocence..."
(Suddenly, Shenron's body shudders and — PUFF!! — he disappears in a flash, Dragon Balls scattering away.)
Roshi (collapsing):
"...He broke the dragon."
Goku (laughing happily):
"Hehe! Master, look! Shenron disappeared like a fart!"
---
---
Scene 3: Running to Bulma
Bulma (arms crossed, glaring):
"What do you two perverts want this early? You better not be here for another ridiculous request!"
Goku (bowing dramatically, all excited):
"Bulma! Please teach me how to properly love Chi-Chi!!"
Roshi (also bowing, sweating like crazy):
"And me too!! A little theory refresher wouldn't hurt! I mean, I've done some training, but... there's always room for improvement!"
Bulma (face turning red with anger, vein popping out):
"GET THE HELL OUT!!!"
(Bulma immediately pulls out a massive bazooka from behind her back and blasts them straight into the sky, just like Team Rocket style, leaving a trail of smoke behind them.)
Goku (flying in the sky, confused):
"What did we do wrong, Master? We were just asking for some advice!"
Roshi (floating in the air, shaking his fist):
"I KNEW it was a bad idea! But nooo, you insisted on going to her for help, Goku!"
---
(As they float back down, Roshi starts rubbing his chin, deep in thought. Goku, still in the air, looks at him cluelessly.)
Roshi (thinking out loud):
"Hmmm... I was hoping Bulma would help... but I guess she's not in the mood... maybe... maybe I just need a better plan."
Goku (yelling down from above):
"What if we go to Master Karin(white speaking cat)and ask him for advice?! he's always wise and... um... zen!"
Roshi (smirking):
"No, Goku, there's a better way... We need to do this the sneaky way. You will use Instant Transmission to bring us straight to Bulma's house. That way, she won't have time to refuse us.
Goku (nodding seriously):
"Instant Transmission? Cool! Let's do it! Maybe we can learn some cool new moves too, Master!"
(Goku uses Instant Transmission, and both of them appear inside Bulma's bathroom — right in front of a completely naked Bulma stepping out of the shower.)
Roshi (eyes popping out of his head, nose bleeding uncontrollably):
"BOOYYAAAA!!!"
(Roshi instantly passes out from nosebleed overload, collapsing into a nearby towel rack.)
Goku (completely unfazed, just staring at Bulma):
"Whoa, Master! That was fast! What's going on in here?"
Bulma (glaring with a towel wrapped around her):
"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU TWO??!?!"
(She immediately throws the nearest shampoo bottle at Roshi, who is still knocked out cold.)
Goku (looking around):
"Master, I think you broke it again. What do we do now? Is there more training here?"
Bulma (pulling out a second bazooka):
"GET OUT! BOTH OF YOU!"
Roshi (waking up with a dramatic gasp):
"NO! I CAN EXPLAIN—"
(Before he can finish, Bulma pulls the trigger, blasting them through the ceiling again.)
---
Goku and Roshi Take the Hit (and the Fall)
(They fall straight into the backyard, landing with a thud. Bulma peeks out from the window, arms crossed and still steaming.)
Goku (sitting up and brushing dirt off his gi):
"Well, that went well. But I still don't understand the training, Master. What are we supposed to do to learn?"
Roshi (sitting up slowly, looking defeated):
"Ugh... I'm too old for this. My nose is still bleeding from earlier. But... I think I need to rethink my plan... "
Goku (optimistically):
"Don't worry, Master! We still have time! I bet we can still find a way to make Chi-Chi scream louder than my Kaio-ken!"
Roshi (slightly losing his mind):
"GOKU, YOU'RE INCREDIBLY NAÏVE!! THIS IS NOT A FIGHTING TECHNIQUE, THIS IS... THIS IS... YOU KNOW WHAT?"
---
(Just then, Vegeta walks in, looking even more annoyed than usual. He spots Roshi and Goku, still on the ground, clearly failing in every aspect of their lives.)
Vegeta (squinting at them):
"What's going on here? What are you two idiots doing now?"
Goku (happily):
"Vegeta! I am learning how to train for Chi-Chi's love, and Master roshi help me"
Vegeta (crossing his arms, rolling his eyes):
"You two are hopeless. Do you really think there's a technique for making someone... love you more? Just... get to the point and leave before Bulma gets any ideas about you two."
(Vegeta walks away, shaking his head in disbelief.)
Roshi (groaning):
"Vegeta's right... We've got to get our heads together. But where do we go now, Goku? My training plan is failing hard."
Goku (determined):
"We'll figure it out, Master! Maybe we just need to ask someone else... like... Piccolo! He's so serious! He'll definitely have a solution!"
Roshi (facing the heavens, crying in despair):
"Why me? Why meeee? I'm too old for this... I'm too innocent to deal with you, Goku..."ok let's go there ( depressed)
---
Narrator (dramatic voice):
"Will Goku's training ever truly be complete? Will he ever uncover the ultimate secrets of love and desire? And can Master Roshi ever manage to teach him the ways of the world?
Stay tuned, as the journey continues... on Dragon Pole Z!"