Chapter 2: "Foreplay, Fluids & Foolishness – Goku's Adult Training Continues" (Uncut Edition)
Scene: Kame House – Day 5 of Master Roshi's Ultra Secret 'H-Training' Program
The sun shines bright over the ocean. Inside, Goku sits with his usual wide-eyed expression while Master Roshi sips coconut juice and sweats nervously, a whiteboard behind him labeled:
"ADVANCED SEX ED – STAGE 2: Insertion, Lubrication & Love-Making Like a Master."
Master Roshi (clears throat dramatically):
"Goku, today… you take your next step toward becoming a true adult… not just a fighter — but a pleasure warrior."
Goku (raises hand seriously):
"Sensei, will I also learn how to use 'Ultra Instinct… inside?'"
Roshi (chokes on juice):
"Wha—!? BOY! That's called instinctive thrusting, and yes… yes you will."
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[Part 1: Foreplay Fundamentals]
Roshi pulls down a scroll with a very questionable diagram labeled: "Touch Me Zones."
Goku (tilts head):
"What's this swirly thing? Is it like a chakra point?"
Roshi:
"No, baka! That's a nipple. Very important. Twist it like you're turning the volume up."
Goku (nods seriously):
"Understood. Twist to max output."
Roshi:
"And here, this is the 'peach valley'—a place so sacred, touching it can summon heavenly moans."
Goku (gasps):
"Like Shenron?!"
Roshi:
"Even better. You don't need Dragon Balls, just skill… and a clean mouth."
---
[part 2-Oral Mayhem ]
(Scene: Roshi's secret training room. Dim lights. A suspicious DVD is playing on a tiny old TV.)
(Onscreen: A very questionable "training session" is happening.)
Goku (eyes wide open, pointing at the screen, horrified):
"WAIT!! Why is he licking THAT?! THAT'S THE PEE PLACE!!"
(clutches his chest dramatically)
"Does it taste like miso soup!?"
Roshi (facepalms so hard he nearly knocks himself out):
"NO, YOU FOOL!! It doesn't taste like miso soup! It tastes like... divine nectar... like forbidden candy from the heavens!!"
Goku (still traumatized):
"But Chi-Chi told me... not to lick anything unless it's food... o ice cream!"
Roshi (holding his head, losing will to live):
"This IS food... but only for warriors who have conquered adulthood!"
Goku (squints suspiciously, counting on fingers):
"So... you're telling me... it's like... adult ramen?"
Roshi (blank stare, soul leaving his body):
"...Yes, Goku. It's adult ramen. Slurp responsibly."
Goku (serious face, like he's about to fight Frieza):
"Hmph... I must train harder..."
Goku (even more confused):
"Wait... if it's not ramen... then why is he using his tongue like a Senzu Bean farmer?!"
Roshi (screaming inside):
"JUST ACCEPT IT, YOU INNOCENT SAIYAN IDIOT!!!"
(Suddenly, Master Roshi clutches his chest like he's having a heart attack.)
Roshi (dramatic collapse):
"Tell Bulma... I died... trying to explain... adult miso soup..."
(He falls backward, dramatically gasping like Vegeta after Goku outclassed him.)
Goku (kneels beside him, shaking Roshi):
"MASTER!!! WHO'S GOING TO TEACH ME ABOUT THE ADULT BUFFET NOW?!"
(Roshi's soul quietly ascending into the hentai heavens.)
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[Part 3: Goku's Chi-Chi Confession ]
(Scene: Kame House – Evening. Roshi, Goku, and Krillin sitting around a bonfire, chatting.)
Goku (grinning casually):
"Master Roshi... Chi-Chi already does this stuff to me every night.like all this position"
Roshi (choking on his drink, spitting his entire soul out):
"W-WHAAAAAAT?!"All position
Goku (nodding innocently):
"Yeah. She climbs on top of me... moaning like she's going Super Saiyan ... starts bouncing up and down like a Kamehameha charging up..."
(pauses, scratching his head)
"...And then I pass out like Yamcha after a Saibaman hug."
Roshi (nosebleeds violently, practically launching himself backward like a rocket):
"CHI-CHI... YOU ARE TRULY... THE KAMI OF ENDURANCE!!!"
(he cries rivers of blood while looking up at the sky dramatically)
Goku (smiling dumbly):
"Yeah! Sometimes, I even try to go Super Saiyan to survive longer, but... she always wins."
Roshi (mumbling to himself, hands trembling):
"How... HOW much lucky can a Saiyan GET...?"
(Suddenly Roshi stands up, shaking his fists at the heavens.)
Roshi (crying dramatically):
"WHY KAMI?! WHY NOT ME?! I TRAINED FOR 300 YEARS!! I MASTERED THE TURTLE STYLE!! I EVEN INVENTED THE KAMEHAMEHA!!"
(falls to knees)
"...And yet... I die alone..."
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[Part 4: The Holy Fluid -]
(Scene: Secret Adult Training Room. Roshi dramatically brings out a glass jar labeled: "Semen Sample (DON'T OPEN).")
Roshi (holding the jar proudly like it's Excalibur):
"Now, Goku… this white stuff that comes out after you… you know… is called semen."
Goku (eyes sparkling like a kid seeing candy):
"WOAAAH!"
(leans in closer)
"Semen? Sounds like a villain from the Ginyu Force! Like... 'SE-MEN, ATTACK!!'"
Roshi (facepalming so hard his sunglasses crack):
"No, baka!! It's not a villain! It's your… your baby laser!! It's how you make babies!"
Goku (gasps dramatically, stepping back):
"HUH?! But... but I thought Chi-Chi baby by eating too much rice and doing sit-ups!!"
Roshi (sobbing uncontrollably into his turtle shell):
"Kami-sama… just strike me down... please..."
(Goku pokes the jar curiously, tilting his head like a dog.)
Goku (serious tone):
"Wait… wait a second... this white stuff... it's glowing a little... IS THIS... KI ENERGY?!"
Roshi (screaming):
"NO, YOU FOOL!! IT'S NOT KI!! IT'S NOT A SPIRIT BOMB!!!"
Goku (confused, still staring at it):
"But... it's warm… it's sticky… it feels alive...
(starts powering up, veins popping)
"I CAN FEEL IT TRYING TO FUSE WITH ME!!!"
Roshi (losing the will to live, literally collapsing on the floor):
"GOKU, IF YOU CHARGE UP THAT JAR, THE EARTH WILL END!!"
Goku (serious, nodding wisely):
"So you're saying... this... is the Holy Fluid of Life?"
Roshi (gritting teeth, eyes twitching):
"YES!! It's the only reason you're even alive, you muscle-brained moron!!"
Goku (puts hands together in prayer):
"Thank you, Holy Fluid… for makeing me… for master Roshi… and for Chi-Chi's angry fists every night."
(Roshi rolls over like a dying cockroach, and Goku starts humming the Dragon Ball opening theme while praying to the "Holy Fluid.")
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[Part 5: Goku Discovers Hardcore Hentai ]
(Scene: Roshi's secret drawer. Goku accidentally pulls out a dusty old DVD labeled "Masterpiece of Martial Love.")
(Curious, Goku puts it into the player. Screen lights up with heavy panting and intense "training.")
Goku (shocked):
"WHOA!! Master!! This man is shoving his thing into her like he's trying to open a stuck temple door!!"
Roshi (nodding proudly like a battle veteran):
"YES!! That's called pounding!! A sacred martial rhythm passed down by perverts for generations!!"
(wipes a tear)
"It's like... drumming... but on the holy body!"
Goku (blinking rapidly, pointing at the screen):
"BUT MASTER!! Why's he pulling her hair like he's fighting a Saiyan?!"
Roshi (grinning like the devil):
"FOR INTENSITY, Goku!! Pull the hair just right... and it sends shockwaves down her spine... like a powerful chakra burst!! Like... Zenkai Boost for her senses!!"
Goku (dead serious, powering up slightly):
"So... if I use Kaioken while doing it…?"
Roshi (eyes bulging out, waving arms like crazy):
"NO, YOU FOOL!! ONLY if you want her to PASS OUT, EXPLODE
Goku (innocent, tilts head):
"Hmm… What about Kaioken x10? That'll make Chi-Chi REALLY happy, right?"
Roshi (screaming, holding his head):
"KAIOKEN ×10 WILL SEND HER TO KING YEMA!!!"
(Suddenly, video shows a dude performing a crazy spinning move.)
Goku (shocked, jumps back):
"MASTER!! He's doing a SPINNING PILEDRIVER TECHNIQUE!! Is that allowed?!"
Roshi (serious like a ninja master):
"ONLY if you have strong lower back... and signed permission!"
Goku (determined, clenching fists):
"I MUST TRAIN! I will master the Pounding Fist, Hair Tug Technique, AND the Spinning Love Driver!!"
(eyes shining like curious boy)
Roshi (lying flat on the floor, whispering to the heavens):
"Kami-sama… please... let me be reborn as Goku in my next life..."
(Goku powers up, accidentally destroying Roshi's house with his excitement. while Roshi cries into a porn magazine.)
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[Part 6: Mistakes Were Made]
Later that night, Roshi walks in to find Goku practicing... alone... with sex body pillow.
Goku:
"Sensei! I tried 'foreplay' with your pillow. It squeaked once and then ripped."
Roshi (crying):
"That wasn't a normal pillow, Goku… that was my waifu…"
Goku (innocent):
"She was very soft… I think I love her now."
Roshi (rage mode):
"YOU IDIOT!!"
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[Final Scene: Night at Kame House]
Roshi sits outside under the stars, thinking deeply.
Roshi:
"I wanted to make him a man… but he's too far gone. He'll need more than just hentai… he needs a miracle."
Suddenly, Goku walks out holding a magazine upside down.
Goku:
"Master… why is she biting his ear while sitting on his lap?"
Roshi (sighs):
"…That's called multitasking, my boy. Something you'll never understand."
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Narrator (dramatic voice):
"Will Goku ever learn the ways of seduction? Will Roshi's nose ever stop bleeding? Will Chi-Chi finally get the relief she deserves? Find out next time on…
DRAGON POLL Z: Mission 'Climax.'