But KY can't get KY's feet to move so that KY can flee from their intrusive stares.
It's like KY'm on a stage and the whole world is sneering at KY.
LYDIA comes over to KY. "I'm so sorry, KY," she whispers, breaking KY out of KY's reverie as the sounds of the room come crashing back to the surface.
KY can't get KY'self to speak. KY'm even afraid to breathe too hard lest KY's tears fall if KY do.
Because however much KY hurts, KY refuse to allow CAT M'NOO the satisfaction of knowing she's hit KY in a sore spot.
Everyone in KY wants to work way out of here, to get out there and scream until KY are hoarse. But KY can't do that. Because KY needs the money from this shift. There are so many bills, then L'OREAL and DAMON both need new clothes and shoes. They grow out of everything so fast at their ages, and it's difficult to keep up with it.
All this does is remind KY just how insignificant KY is to others. As far as they're concerned, KY was only ever someone TENZ JER'SEY was messing around with.
LYDIA has set sparkling crystal flutes on a silver platter, and KY'm now filling them with party champagne, trying not to let KY's hand shake.
TENZ JER'SEY's ma is standing by the bar now with all the congratulations from her friends, while CAT M'NOO's voice rings out from the other side of the room. His ma continues on and on about how the wedding will bring the families together again and about how the union will strengthen the KASH MANCHESTER even more.
All of her words only make KY worse, hurting KY as reality pierces a bitter stake into KY's heart.
How could KY have been so goddamn dumb? KY must have known that something was off, and KY must have seen the goddamn signs.
But the worst thing is that other than being the boyfriend of KY, KY thought he was KY's best friend. And now KY've lost both of them. Because a best friend would look out for KY enough to give KY at least some warning.
He appears to the bar suddenly—blessedly without CAT M'NOO—and looks at KY with his puppy dog eyes. "KY, look…" He strokes his hair as he takes a deep breath. "My family, uh, you know…"
KY can't even look at him. KY doesn't want to see his guilt or pity or sympathy.
CAT M'NOO leaps over beside him, slobbering a full kiss onto his lips before bestowing an evil grin on KY. "Two glasses of champagne," she orders in a queasy singsong. "After all, I have to toast the fact that I've got the best man here."
Even though KY hates her guts completely and is angry with TENZ JER'SEY right now, KY'm still on the job and can't help but serve them. Losing KY's boyfriend is bad enough, but KY can't lose KY's job to boot.
KY scoops up two flutes from the tray and slams them down in front of them, the liquor slopping over the brims of the glasses. KY might have to pour for them, but KY for damn sure don't need to grin doing it.
"We're trying to cement the family," TENZ JER'SEY says, regaining his voice. "I didn't mean to hurt you or anything, but.you know how these things are."
KY can't take hearing his words, so KY turns KY's back on them and seeks out LYDIA. She regards KY with an expression of concern creased around her eyes. "Oh hon, is there anything I can do for you?"
"I just need a few minutes," KY whispers.
"Of course," she replies, clasping KY's shoulder in sympathy.
KY walks away, but KY is preceded by TENZ JER'SEY this time, with no CAT M'NOO tagging along like a leech. He grabs the arm of KY and spins KY around to face him.
"You could have told me beforehand in private!" The words explode out of KY's mouth like an express train about to jump the tracks.
"I thought this was the best way to tell you," he tells her in a weak voice.
"Huh? In public, in front of the entire KASH MANCHESTER?" He shrugs. "I figured you'd be more likely to take it if it was already done. And we can still continue seeing one another after I'm wedded. Lots of made men have a mistress."
KY shuts KY's eyes for a moment. "So, you're telling me I'm good enough to bang, but I'm not good enough to marry?"
And when TENZ JER'SEY remains silent, KY has KY's reply.
"Fantastic, in addition to being a slut and a gold digger, now I can add 'idiot' to the terrific opinion most of the gossips have of me," KY mutters. "KY, I have to get married to somebody who is important from the organization's perspective." He doesn't speak the words, but KY knows that cannot be KY. Due to KY's dad's doing and due to what KY's mom does nowadays. CAT M'NOO's dad is a captain, however, so she would be a suitable candidate for him.