Disbelief has KY's mouth hanging open. "So, you let him hither?"
Another wave of her hand, dismissive. She is a completely different woman now. The warm woman who braided our hair at night and sang to us when we couldn't sleep is gone. She didn't act like this when KY's dad was alive. Instead, standing in her place is someone KY doesn't know most days. Fading further and further from the woman KY still clings to as KY's mom. There are glimpses of that woman still there, but they're so infrequent that they feel like mirages.
And it breaks KY's heart to see what she's let herself become.
"DEBORAH, go to the bedroom," KY says gently.
"But—"
"I'll be there in just a second. Please?"
DEBORAH nods through her blur of tears.
KY's hands fist at KY's sides. What kind of mother lets her loser boyfriend do this to her kids? XENDER FISH is a complete creep. He owns a chain of cheap strip clubs, not that KY's mom ever receives payment from him. He's a worst kind of leech. XENDER FISH still tries to get KY's mom to dance at his clubs. Having him in the same room makes skin crawl on KY's body.
KY doesn't speak until KY sees KY glance at DEBORAH as she goes into the bedroom and the door clicks shut. KY lets out a noise from the back of KY's throat. KY pinches the bridge of KY's nose. KY can't decide if it's irritation or disappointment that's coursing through KY. A little bit of both, probably.
It's the same thing over and over again with our mom. This is why KY works so hard. So that they can try and give KY's siblings a better life than this. They need to be able to feel with certainty that someone loves them and will always be standing over them. But that's not what they're getting right now—here.
We're gone. I'm getting an apartment, and I'm taking the children with me. I'm not going to let your boyfriend strike them?"
She shrugs. "Okay, KY. You do what you think is best."
The arrangement is so loose that KY feels like KY gets whiplash. She goes to slouch down on the couch.
"That's it?" KY frowns at her. "Do you…even care?"
She doesn't answer.
KY slowly blinks back at her. "So, when I get a place, I'll get them to move in with me. That's the deal."
"Alright."
Deep hurt mixes in with all KY's other emotions. "Fine."
Moving down the short corridor, KY peeks into the room in which five-year-old L'OREAL and six-year-old DAMON are sleeping. They are both soundly asleep, and KY says a silent prayer to whoever is listening that they weren't awake to witness the whole debacle.
KY's fist clenches at the doorknob of the bedroom DEBORAH and KY share, and KY halts. The thudding beat of KY's pulse drowns out all other noise. KY's mouth feels dry. How in the world is KY ever going to afford a new apartment? Picking up extra shifts is out of the question when KY already works as many as KY can. And begging TENZ JER'SEY for another gun run is out of the question. KY can't afford to go to prison because then who would take care of the children?
KY'll get it to work. KY must get it to work. KY wants the children to be safe and happy. KY's grades really did suffer a great deal in KY's last year of high school from all the stress of KY's home life, and KY swears KY'sself that KY'll not let the same happen to the children.
KY pushes the door open and let it gently close behind KY. KY reacts on instinct, holding DEBORAH in KY's arms while she cries.
After she's done thrashing about what happened, KY gives her a reassuring smile, kiss her forehead, and tell her everything is going to be fine. As KY does what KY can to soothe her, KY is serene and composed on the outside but a tempest inside. There is too much to be done now. For if XENDER FISH's attacked her once, he'll be doing it again—and maybe not just next time to DEBORAH. KY mustn't have that happen to DEBORAH or the other kids again. It kills KY just to consider what has just happened.
KY strokes her hair and speaks softly, not until she's calm. "Let me see, DEBORAH." She lifts her face. It's a foul bruise, but it'll likely disappear in a few hours. "I'll get you some ice in a minute."
KY listens for the creak of the door opening and looks up to see L'OREAL entering the room secretly. "I heard noises," she mumbles sleepily.
She had to have heard DEBORAH and KY talking. "Come here," KY says softly, and she climbs onto KY's lap, her teddy bear clutched close to her. KY buries KY's face in her hair. Soap and innocence all in one smell.
"Will you be here to drive us to school in the morning?" she asks in a trembling voice.
"Of course, munchkin," KY says in a voice which KY attempt to make as reassuring. KY actually hate the fact that the children are suffering due to all of this nonsense that is going on around us. KY take the children to school almost always now, especially after KY's mom messed this up a few too many times in recent history. And if KY can't do it KY'sself, KY have a friend do it in its place.
We're so lucky with two moms," L'OREAL coos snuggling into KY. "We've got Mom and then we've got you too."
"And you'll never not have me," KY promises her. They count on KY, and KY'll never leave them in the lurch. KY quietly exits the bedroom and takes some ice from the fridge to return to the room. Not surprisingly, KY's mom is nowhere to be found now.
Paying for our own house is going to be expensive. Much more than the money KY has in KY's savings account today. Rents on New York are sky-high, and then there's the deposit, plus the electricity and gas and all the rest. Good thing that KY've got KY's stash of pilfered dresses. That's the actual motive for KY stealing—to have funds when things go pear-shaped. KY has already seen what it is like when KY's dad was killed and we didn't have totally anything, and KY've been determined never to be in that situation again. KY knows KY is doing is horrendously wrong, and KY promises KY'sself that KY'll stop stealing once we get over this hurdle. But tonight, KY'll be auctioning all KY's dresses on ebuyer.com, and those shimmery outfits will be our escape mechanism here. KY should have auctioned the dresses instead of doing the dumb guns, but today KY thank God that KY didn't because it means KY still have the dresses as an alternative.
KY makes sure to pick up one of those machines as well, so that KY can remove the security tags from the dresses. A feeling of finality descends upon KY. KY'll do whatever it takes to get the kids into somewhere where they won't be hurt. They deserve to grow up in a place which is warm, safe, and full of love. They are so much more valuable than what our mom can offer them at this time. We are worth more than this.
KY's working an early shift today so KY'll be home before the kids arrive home from school, so at least KY won't have to worry too much about XENDER FISH today. Tomorrow and tomorrow again, though, KY'll have to find someone to babysit the kids until KY finish work. If KY can't find a friend to babysit them, KY'll have to pay for a babysitter, and that's something KY simply can't afford.
KY's already concerned about how KY's gonna be able to afford a place to lease and how KY's gonna be able to afford it. It ain't cheap around here, and KY don't want the kids to have to go through the upheaval of switching schools once more. But a bartender salary doesn't go very far in this town, let alone when it has to support one adult and three children.
KY takes a dress from the rack, liking the color which the tag refers to as Sunset Hues. KY is fervently hoping what KY buys for all KY's dresses in total will be enough to get us out of here and far enough from XENDER FISH. But until they are sold, KY may as well wear them.
KY puts on the dress and then runs around the room to apply a little make-up. KY's phone rings with a video call, and looking at the phone, KY sees it's from KY's best friend, PELLA.
"Hey," KY answers quickly.
"Hey, is this a bad time or something?" PELLA asks. NIKKI, KY's second best friend, waves in the background.
KY brushes past KY's dark hair as KY fills them in with the fast summary of what happened between XENDER FISH last night.
"That is crappy," NIKKI tells them when KY finishes, sympathy oozing from her tone.
"I can't even imagine how hard that has to be," PELLA adds.
"Yeah, it is, but I'm used to it now. I just hate that I can't shelter the kids from my mom's relentless screwed-up relationships, you know?"
"I see," PELLA replies. "Oh, I was calling to invite you to hang out with NIKKI and me, but I didn't know you had to work."
KY shuts KY's eyes for a moment and breathes in. "Trust me, I'd much rather spend time with you guys than rich, snooty brats at the KASH MANCHESTER. Ugh, I don't want to cut out early, but I'm running behind. Can I call you later?"
"Yeah. Later, KY!" PELLA answers, and NIKKI blows a kiss to KY before hanging up.
KY places KY's feet into a pair of stilettos and takes a hasty look at KY'sself in the mirror one last time before KY hastily leaves KY's room.
Upon arriving in the living room, KY finds KY's mother already in bed. KY exhales softly, getting up and throwing a blanket over her before leaving the apartment.
When KY arrives at the KASH MANCHESTER, KY slips KY's bag in KY's locker, hastily taking a photo of the two dresses KY have in there. There's a bronze one and a blue one, and to KY's shame, they were KY's discoveries last week. Then logging on to ebuyer.com, KY post a new advertisement for each of the dresses. The funds earned from the bronze dress shall go into KY's apartment fund and that which KY is receiving for the blue cocktail dress shall go to the single moms' shelter.