It was 2:03 AM at MVL HQ, the hour when nothing good ever happens, and Fathead was trying to teach Lightning how to use a microwave.
"It's not a toaster, bro. You don't flip the food inside."
"You said 'heat evenly.' I'm evenly flipping."
The screen above them glitched. The security feed scrambled. Chains grabbed his gun. Silent Boy tilted his head.
The Young One stopped doing one-finger pushups on a landmine and whispered:
"She's here."
Selene entered the room, face unreadable. "Heads up. She arrived earlier than expected."
Blizzard didn't move. Just said one word:
"Jade."
Door opens. Time pauses. Regret begins.
In walked a girl in a white crop hoodie, ripped jeans, and pink sneakers — carrying a Hello Kitty backpack full of deadly intent.
Jade Beauty.
She looked like she walked out of an Instagram skincare ad. Glowing skin, glassy eyes, K-pop idol smile.
And a vibe that said "I stabbed a guy once because he texted 'k.'"
She dropped her bag on the table. A human finger rolled out.
"Oopsie. That's my lunch."
Fathead screamed.
Lightning fainted.
Chains blinked. "You… brought a finger to lunch?"
"Yeah. My professor said I need more 'hands-on experience.'" 😇
Selene pinched the bridge of her nose. "Jade. That's a felony."
"So was downloading my textbooks. Wanna arrest me for that too, officer?"
Even The Young One took a cautious step away from her. "I've killed 3444 people. She still scares me."
Interrogation, Jade Style
Blizzard sat across from her. Calm. Careful. Like defusing a bomb with a sense of humor.
"You weren't supposed to be here yet."
Jade tilted her head. "The schedule said 'Week 5.' I showed up in 'Freak 2.' Close enough."
"Did anyone see you?"
"Only the CCTV at the airport. But don't worry. I hacked the system. Changed my face to Nicolas Cage."
"...Why?"
"Because it's always been my dream to commit war crimes as Nic Cage."
Selene: "You're going to get us all arrested."
"Then we break out. Duh. Silent Boy gets the swords. Lightning distracts them by being slow. Chains eats the evidence. I do the TikTok dance. Boom — viral escape plan."
Fathead (genuinely terrified): "She planned a prison break and added a TikTok dance?!"
Taekwondo Demo – MVL Style
"Wanna see a roundhouse kick?" Jade asked nobody.
Fathead mumbled, "No th—"
THWACK
She flipped over the couch, kicked a watermelon into Lightning's mouth (while he was sleeping), spun midair, and landed in a perfect split.
Lightning woke up choking. "Is this... a fruit attack?!"
Blizzard: "...She's better than the military."
Chains: "She's worse than the military."
Silent Boy just held up a sign:
"I have found my soulmate."
Jade's First Assignment: Chaos
Selene tossed her a dossier. "Pier 14. Recon mission."
"Cool. Can I wear my 'Crime is a Social Construct' hoodie?"
"No."
"Okay. But I'm still painting the van to look like a giant duck."
"...WHY?"
"Cops don't chase ducks, Selene. It's called reverse psychology."
Later That Night…
As Jade danced her way out the door humming a murder ballad remix, Blizzard whispered to Selene:
"She hasn't done anything yet. That's what worries me."
Selene nodded. "You ever seen a cat calmly stare at a room like it owns every soul inside?"
"Yeah."
"That's her. But the cat has a body count."
Jade stuck her head back in. "Hey! I made cookies. One of them is poisoned. Guess which."
Everyone froze.
She giggled. "Just kidding."
Pause.
"It's the oatmeal one."
She winked. And vanished into the night.