Time: 06:12 PM
Date: 2742-08-28
Location: Café Somnia, Kyoto – Where Dreams, Drama, and Dumber Decisions Brew
Ren didn't want to walk into a café with three otherworldly stunners. He really didn't. But you try saying no to an interdimensional Core with legs, hips, and an ego forged in a collapsed star.
CORE (casually leading the way):
"I looked up your human customs. Apparently, caffeine and gossip is how your species copes with trauma. Let's cope."
FROST (grabbing the door handle with flair):
"This is going to be so much fun. Let's see how many heads we can turn before the soup even arrives."
BLAZE (grumbling):
"I swear to the Grand Protocol, if anyone tries to flirt with me I'm vaporizing the cheesecake."
The café bell jingled. And silence fell.
Every customer turned.
Coffee cups paused mid-sip. Laptops froze mid-click. An entire family stopped arguing over pancakes. It was like time hiccupped watching Ren Ishida walk in with what looked like three final-boss-tier visual novels come to life.
And Ren?
He looked like a discount intern caught in the wrong harem genre.
"Table for four," he said, like this was fine and not illegal in five timelines.
The waitress blinked at him like she was trying to reboot her brain.
Customer #1 (whispering):
"Is he famous?"
Customer #2 (gritting teeth):
"No, he's lucky. That's worse."
Customer #3 (praying):
"Dear God, please let me reincarnate as his seat cushion."
Ten Minutes Later...
They were seated by the window. Ren kept nervously sipping his iced tea like it would drown the sound of his own self-esteem imploding.
CORE (leaning back, inspecting the menu like royalty):
"Mmm, so many choices. But why eat food when I can consume attention?"
FROST (checking her reflection in the spoon):
"This lighting really brings out my cheekbones. Blaze, try smiling. You'll scare fewer children."
BLAZE (scowling):
"Smiling is for stable codebases."
Ren lowered his tea. "Could you all maybe not attract a national security team today? Please?"
CORE (teasing):
"Aw, embarrassed to be seen with your girls? Should I tone it down to 'mysterious librarian mode' for your comfort?"
Before Ren could respond—the air changed.
Someone else had entered the café.
He turned—and froze.
Maya.
Hair tied back. Office blazer still on. Walking in like a storm that didn't care who it drowned. Her sharp gaze immediately locked onto Ren... and then the trio of cosmic bombshells flanking him.
She blinked.
Twice.
Then tilted her head ever so slightly, her lips forming that boss-face expression.
"Huh," Maya said. "You finally upgraded from talking to your bathroom mirror?"
Ren choked on his tea. "I—I can explain—"
CORE (whispering smugly):
"Ohhh. Is this your dominant local female? She looks like she stabs things for fun. I like her."
FROST (smirking):
"This tension. Delicious. I live for this."
BLAZE (raising one brow):
"Is she the one who thinks she's in charge? That's cute."
"Didn't know you had this kind of… taste, Ishida," Mira said, eyeing the three like she was assembling a PowerPoint labeled EXPLAIN YOURSELF, BITCH.
Ren laughed nervously. "They're... uhh... freelancers. Helping with my side project."
"Your side project better not be a dating sim," Maya said flatly, walking past with a final glare that could sterilize a room.
The trio watched her go.
FROST (grinning):
"She wants to bite you. Or kill you. Maybe both."
BLAZE:
"Probably both. In that order."
CORE:
"I'm just saying... if she tries to challenge us, I will unleash the quantum roast."
Ren just buried his face in his hands.
Somewhere in the café, a tiny violin was playing just for him.
Ren hadn't even finished apologizing to his iced tea when Maya returned—with a tray. Of her own coffee. And a fourth chair.
She sat down.
At their table.
Like some territorial queen staking her claim in the middle of an alien invasion.
"You know what?" Mira said, smiling coldly at Core, Blaze, and Frost. "I was just thinking... I could use a break. You all seem fun. Mind if I join?"
FROST (grinning like a knife):
"Not at all. You always invite yourself to battles you can't win?"
BLAZE (arms crossed):
"Let her. Watching her dig her own grave could be the most entertaining part of this dinner."
CORE (sipping from a cup she didn't even order):
"Oh this is juicy. A workplace rival with main-girl energy. What is this, Season 2 already?"
Ren leaned forward, whisper-hissing, "Guys. Seriously. Chill. Maya's—she's not like... that."
CORE:
"Oh please. She's been throwing boss-lady daggers since she walked in. She's definitely like that."
Maya, now folding her arms and narrowing her eyes, leaned in to Ren. "Are they always this annoying? Or just when someone else shows up?"
Ren stared into his cup. "I don't even know anymore."
Customer at another table:
"Yo, I think the guy at Table 3 is the protagonist of something."
Barista:
"Protagonist? Nah, he's giving 'panicked sidekick with main character trauma.'"
Just as Ren considered whether or not he could legally crawl under the table and stay there forever, Core leaned forward dramatically.
CORE:
"So, Maya... tell us. What exactly is your relationship with Ren? Friend? Co-worker? Secret admirer who never figured out how to confess after high school?"
Maya :
"Try his manager. And if I wanted to confess something, I'd just do it. Unlike some people hiding behind glowy eyeballs and sarcasm." She said this hesitantly.
BLAZE (leaning closer, crimson eyes glowing faintly):
"At least we glow. You just radiate stress and unresolved HR complaints."
CORE (fake-gasping):
"Ooooh, burn. Add a point for Team Eyeball."
Ren slowly lowered his head to the table.
"Please. Let the café spontaneously combust. Just end me now."
Five Minutes Later…
Maya and the Girls were now locked in some kind of passive-aggressive Cold War over sugar packets and who could lean closer to Ren without making it obvious.
FROST (tilting her head with a grin):
"You know, Ren, we never did get to show you our proper introductions... Maybe a demonstration later?"
Ren blinked. "Demonstration of what?"
BLAZE (deadpan):
"Don't ask questions unless you want answers."
Maya picked up her cup, sipping very slowly. "Y'know, I hope these new... friends... of yours remember that you're my employee. If this nonsense starts interfering with deadlines—"
CORE (winking):
"Then what? You'll file a complaint with space-time?"
Ren (muttering):
"I am going to be so fired by two universes at once..."
Meanwhile, across the café…
A group of college guys at another table were whispering violently.
"That guy just got threatened by four women and smiled about it."
"He's living every anime protagonist's dream... or nightmare."
"He's got plot armor. No way he's not special."
As the sun dipped low over Kyoto and the café lights grew golden and warm, Ren just sat there—one mortal man, trapped between multiple realities, three sass-infused waifus, and a woman who might just stab a multiverse to win an argument.
And to be honest?
He wasn't sure if he should be terrified...
…or grateful.