{CASTIEL'S POINT OF VIEW}
"We can sign a deal on your terms and if there are other things you want to include in the pro-
"No, I'm asking if you can really give me what I want". He cut me off and continued to look at me.
His gaze made me feel like a prey stuck in a trap. The silver in them was like a silver thread bound to my soul.
I had come here to face him squarely, so he won't have any reason to refuse or back away but instead of intimidating him or negotiating with him. I'm here looking away from his piercing gaze.
And what does he really want?
I wanted to ask but I know better, I am digging a grave for myself if I ask that.
"Every conditions you want would be duly met and -
"Castiel can you give me what I want?" He asked for the third time but now he is standing right in front of me. With a hand deep in his pocket, he looked relaxed and attractive.
What the hell am I thinking again?
My heart skipped a beat when he moved his face closer all of a sudden.
"Hmmm?" He asked, cocking a brow and his lips faintly bent into a smile.
He was too close and I would smell the scent of his cologne and aftershave.
The woody and minty scent mixed with his aftershave made me want to move closer to get another whiff but I did the most sane thing I could do for myself.
"What do you want?" I asked and took a step backwards. I squared my shoulders and met his gaze again.
And that finally made him smile, but he has no idea what's going on in my mind.
He can state his conditions and I can refuse them.
It might be hard to find another company to work with but it's not impossible.
"You will go to a place with me tonight, that's the first condition. After you've prepared the contract for us to sign I will tell you the rest".
He replied and finally returned to his seat. His face returned to his cold and emotionless expression.
"Why-
"No questions Castiel, I will send an address to you by 7pm and you should be ready by 9pm. That's all, you can leave" His sudden change almost made me yell at him but he has an upper hand in this and I could only leave grumpily.
I drove straight to a place I have refused to visit since the past year, I wouldn't have made my way here now if it wasn't for Seth.
How can my heart beat wildly for a man like him? Or any man at all?.
That's unacceptable.
And I still can't remember what happened last night. Am I losing my memories again or my damn mind?.
"Castiel?
Wow, who would have believed you would come here on your own after you continuously ignored my calls all this while?" My doctor, Gilbert asked as he stood out of his seat in excitement with a hand stretched out to shake me.
His balding head glistened as light reflected on it.
I shook his hand and it felt normal, it wasn't cold and my heart didn't do a weird jump.
This is exactly how it was supposed to be with him too.
"Are you alright?
You look…unfocused" Gilbert asked as worry clouded his eyes.
"I can see why you are here".
"Last night, something happened to me and I can't remember it. And earlier today, I had a weird reaction to something. Do all these have something to do with my lost memories?" I immediately asked my questions after he gestured for me to sit.
He went silent after I asked my questions, he frowned briefly in confusion.
I mean, I'm also confused and have no idea how to make sense of all these.
I don't even understand the words I used to explain to him.
"I think you need to explain what happened to me properly before I can figure out what's going on?
You said you can't remember what happened last night, do you remember what happened before and after that?" He asked and suddenly pulled out a book out of one of his drawers and started writing on it.
This is getting nowhere, I thought in frustration and ran a hand through my hair.
I have barely done any work today and Seth asked me to go somewhere with him tonight.
"Why the fuck am I not getting back my memories?!
It's been over a damn decade for fucksake!" I yelled suddenly and that startled Gilbert and he jerked back at my sudden outburst.
"I'm sorry, I understand your frustration but it's nobody's fault. It's your brain that shut away those memories because of the traumatic stress and experience.
That's why I told you to have some fun, don't just work all day and all night.
Get some sun, eat, party and mix with people" He continued to explain in his empathetic voice and I almost snapped at him again.
How can I do all he listed when a part of me seems to be missing?.
"How can you tell me to go and party when I feel like shit?!" My voice went high again.
"I'm going to write a prescription for you, take it regularly and make sure you come in for your regular monthly check up" He replied and started writing the prescription.
Exactly what I was expecting, instead of a solution all I would get is a bottle of drugs. Maybe turning me into a junkie is what he thinks would provide a solution to this shadow that is crushing me.
I left the hospital and threw the prescription he wrote in the paper inside the bin by the door.
I have quite a few hours left before seven, I guess I have no choice but to keep sucking it up.
It was seven and Seth sent the address.
A night club?
A frown creased my eyebrows and I shrugged out of my suit.
I was dressing like we were going to a formal setting, but with the venue being a club I would prefer a leather jacket to a tuxedo.
I hope the night goes smoothly.