dasch: bitter truth is better than sweet lie. don't you think.
me: how about my feelings? And why not sweet truth as a better option.
dasch: I am not here to spoil you dear child.
me: execuse me. you've lived less than me. don't you child me. i am you are elder. And, speak of spoiled? Look tiny dog, you get everything provided for free. You are spoonfed everyday. And, without any appreciation, all you do is just walk around, bark at innocent people especially old ladies taking peaceful walks outside, and you scare the hell out of them.
dasch: you make it sound like i got all this for nothing. remember, I was dragged into this family of yours. Did I have a choice? A step further, I lost in touch with my siblings and my biological parents. I do not know where they are and I don't even remember who they are. I was doing just fine. And you humans just decide to scoop me out of my nest. I became a lost child. And, did I ever ask for any help or free meals?
me: the problem isn't about whether you asked for it or not. it's that you are getting them for free and so you are more like the spoiled one. And, yeah so much sadness and misery to your childhood. Well, guess when I was also scooped out of my mother and thrown into this world. I didnt come here just coz I wanted to.
dasch: my point is that i earned this pension-like status in this house, not without sacrifice. I had to give up my birthplace where I was born.
me: wake up, will you? you were cased in one of the glass boxes at a shop on display. your life got an auto upgrade. Would you rather go back to that small case again?
dasch: well, guess what? look at me all locked up in your room like your cellmate anyways. oh well, let's see. this room is larger and more breathable sure. do I have any privacy? And, let me ask you back, would you wana crawl back into your mother?
me: don't be ridiculous, that's not possible. are you trying to repregnant my mom? that's like an abortion reversed and so out of touch that it's even worse than abortion.
dasch: abortion? what unspeakable do you dare bring up here?
me: okay, before any of us gets anymore embroiled into this profanity and nightmare, we continue on this no further. in fact, i give up and congrats on your deafting me.
dasch: do i get any medal of honor or reward for this? i did give my best effort. I want to be compensated for this.
me: how about i necklace a medal around you and leash it to a random car parked outside. That way, you also get the car as part of the package. I do not know who's gona drive that car but good luck if it goes on a highway. You will get all the fame and glory.
dasch: first of all, no thanks to that kind of medal. And you are so creative and a psycho. i'm at least glad that you won't be the one to drive it since you don't have a car nor driver's license. in fact, you are so lazy to even buy yourself a beer.
me: well then maybe, one day when I manage to get up from my couch and get some beers I think i will be ready to drive and give you the nice dog walk you have long been wishing for.
dasch: now that's a drunk drive.
me: once again, I become sober when i drink beer. so it's not a drunk drive.
dasch: I think you are already drunk.
me: sure, you are right. And, talking to you intoxicates me.
dasch: so i am supposed to be your beer?
me: beer but undrinkable and maybe not so tasty. it's more like you are forcing your nonsense and jargons down my throat.
dasch: then i should be paid as much as you pay for beers.
me: i don't have cash though, if you are willing to take credit.
dasch: i don't trust your credentials
me: well, no payment for you then.
dasch: how about you now open the door to let me out once and for all.
me: that's after I play some chess.
dasch: okay, that means i'm peeing.
me: hey hey, chill stop stop... no!!!!!!!!