Meanwhile, Reverend Eli had arrived at Moreton High.
His plan was simple: He had been paid 59.95 + tax in Karamello Koalas and Freddie Frogs, and so now he would deliver. His mission: to deal with Ice Queen Sally and at the same time fulfil his demonic obligations to his Church.
His church, the Church of the Seven Deadly Sins, had been declining in numbers, since many people, hit by the global financial crisis, were too busy working 5 jobs to pay for their bread, lettuce, and avocado toast and accordingly, Reverend Eli's congregation was filled primarily with pensioners over the age of 69, meaning that his beloved Sect was on the verge of, literally, dying out.
Doris, the Pope of the Church of the Seven Deadly Sins, a librarian by day and voodoo practitioner by night, had placed her wizened hand on Reverend Eli's shoulder, as she cajoled him shamelessly:
"Eli, you are our only hope. You must find Ice Queen Sally, and convince her to join our Cul - ahem," she hemmed in a gilf-y, high pitched voice, "our Society. "
She smiled, showing her immaculate dentures.
Reverend Eli bowed zealously. Doris was, and had been, the embodiment of their hallowed vices, the vindictive vessel through which the Seven Deadly Sins of Gluttony, Wrath, Lust, Pride, Sloth, Envy and Greed were channelled, filling people with these demonic emotions through her voodoo arts, but now, at the somewhat well-ripened age of 96, she sensed that her current body's time was near. She needed a new body, a new vessel, in order to continue the Devil's work.
"Bring her to me, and you will have your reward!"
The Reverend licked his lips. Doris had been an old flame, and the reason why he had joined the Church 57 years ago. Even now he felt the passion rise up in his shrivelled member.
"Yes, your Unholiness!"
___
*Slap!*
Bob wiped the sweat from his brow with a towel, and chugged down his electrolytes as the AYM dummy staggered from the blow.
He was continuing with developing his Face Slap Skill mastery, which had now reached the level of an elite master, achieving over 9000 points of damage per strike. Moreover, the Become-A-Hero Company at school had also undergone an exceptional swell in numbers, in particular, Jake, the former Football captain who had suffered emotional damage from his earlier encounter with the Ice Queen and her acolytes, had prostrated himself at Bob's doorstep, begging to join the illustrious club.
"The special introductory period is over, so it might be a bit difficult," Bob hedged, using the classic Rizzian tactic of pulling away when in a position of superiority.
"I'll do anything! Money, food from the canteen, whatever you need Boss. Just help me get back on my feet. I've seen Goku, and Roger, a-and Jacob! T-They've changed. They used to be losers, but now they're ruling the school. Even Mr Potts, the geology teacher, has come under your wing and now has increased his Rizz enough for students to actually stay awake during his classes. I-I need this!"
Bob nodded to himself. It would be good to have another expendable lackey that could help him do odd jobs, not to mention more money was always a good thing. This was the power of Rizz beginning to take hold.
"Jake," he said raising Jake's tear-stained face to meet his own. "Come on mate, we're equals, get up, no need for all of this."
Jake got up gratefully, hope shining in his eyes.
"That said, it wouldn't be fair to the other boys who paid the full price, so tell you what, normally it's $500/week for standard membership, but I'll let you in on a secret."
"What's that?" Jake's eyes widened, filled with desperation to hear more.
"There is a special squad membership available, and entry is only offered to those with potential," Bob continued in a confidential tone. "Normally, it's $1000, but for you, since we're brothers, how about we just make it 750 instead, 25% off. You would get to be part of top secret missions, where I'll make you part of a 'special task' force. Since we're mates though, I can't have you starting from the bottom, so instead, you would be the Second in Command of the Cohort of... the Knights... of the Round." Bob quickly made up some words on the spot with fluid elegance, owing to his insane Rizz which had already surpassed Exceptional Eric level, despite his current C+++++ grade genetic grade.
Jake gasped. He was unworthy. How could Bob give him so much trust? Was this what brotherhood felt like?
Bob's eyes filled with a well-calculated warmth. "Rise, brother Knight. And by the way, we have secret codenames, mine will be uh... "my Lord", "my Liege" would also work and yours... will be "Sir Jakealot", but uh, since we're brothers, I'll just call you Sir Jake, Jake or brother for short."
Jake bowed fervently. "Yes B- uh I mean, yes... my Lord."
Bob nodded in satisfaction.
"All right noble Sir Jake."
"For your first mission... Will that be cash or card?"
___
Bob of course was a man of his word, and Jake began to show steady improvements, gaining confidence, eventually reclaiming his place as Football captain, and eventually even became friends with Melissa, the girl who had stood up for him when he was being bullied by the Ice Maidens.
___
"And so, I'd like you all to welcome Reverend Eli, he will be starting as the new Chaplain at our school!"
The principal of Moreton High, Ms Daisy Dukes, spoke with her usual sweet dulcet laid-back tones. She had lovely blonde curls framing her strong, yet feminine features, and was wearing a red white and blue plaid collared shirt with the sleeves rolled up, a cowboy hat, and had her hands slung in her trademark tight denim shorts and cowboy boots. Chewing a piece of straw, she had a whip and handcuffs by her waist and took no nonsense from anyone, not even her brother, Clint Hardwood.
The Reverend shuffled forward to the microphone, putting on an air of quiet dignity which was offset by what appeared to be a sizeable bulge in his crotch area.
"Thank you, Daisy. I will now lead us in prayer. Dear... Oh... Dear, I swore I brought my pack of tissues...? What... In the name? Ahh! I mean, Ah- amen."
As the old, musty voice started strong, but then muttered, puttered, and trailed off a bit towards the end, the majority of the kids looked around doubtfully. Wasn't that 'prayer' a bit short? Some others, like Jacob, who had opened up another packet of crisps, hadn't noticed anything wrong, whilst Mr Potts the geology teacher, still stoned from his latest archaeological expedition with Ms Bennett from the English department after following Bob's teachings, merely nodded solemnly. An avid believer, he feel invigorated and ready to start his day; he whistled to himself, as he fondled the rocks he had found in his pockets.
The Reverend had plotted meticulously. His plan had been to confuse the whole school with this 'Disturbing Prayer', one of the Secret Sutras of The Church of the Seven Deadly Sins, and in the moment of confusion and chaos that unfurled, he would capture Ice Queen Sally and bring her back to Doris.
Indeed, this plan would have worked to perfection, had it not been for the fact that Sally was no ordinary girl.
___
15 years earlier, In the Sallyson's billionaire penthouse mansion overlooking the Pacific Ocean...
"Darling, don't you think think it's about time our Sally learned some more languages, in addition to French, Russian, German, Nordic, English, Swedish, Danish, Hindi, Tamil, Vietnamese, Japanese, Spanish, Italian, Irish, Celtic, Latin, and Greek? You know that before the age of 2 is the best time for these things. How about Chinese?" Mrs Sallyson looked sweetly up at her big hunk of a man, Mr Sallyson, snuggling closer into his masculine presence.
"All right, love. Let's see, oh look, on Googlé, there's a tutor here called 'Bing Qi Ling', she seems pretty good." Mr Sallyson, filled with protective feelings towards his lovely lady, immediately rose to the occasion in various ways, some of which cannot be elaborated fully upon in this PG novel.
"Let's give it a try."
___
To cut a long story short, since the details would be described in more detail in a later chapter, Sally became the protégé and top assassin for the Anti-Rizz faction under the wing of Empress Bing Qi Ling whilst mastering her 15th foreign language.
___
As Moreton High was in the moment of confusion following his Disturbing Prayer, the Reverend struck, sending a wave of invisible flames towards Ice Queen Sally.
It was the third forbidden technique of the Church of the Seven Deadly Sins:
Unholy Spirit!!!
___
Sally looked around coldly. The moment the Reverend had appeared on the stage, she already knew something was up, and not just because of the bulge in his pants. Her suspicions were confirmed upon hearing his 'Disturbing Prayer'. This was no Holy man, Reverend Eli was clearly a conman, a fraud posturing under the guise of being a good person! Being the FL, she knew she had to do something.
Narrowing her eyes, she conjured up her Anti-Rizz blade.
"Who dares?!" The Empress had trained her well, as Sally immediately chanted the first words of the magic spell, which she had been taught from an early age, taken from the Book of the Standard Dao of Cultivational MCs.
Her Anti-Rizz Energy began to glow with a bone-chilling, flickering light.