Currently based in Washington DC, I, Araragi Koyomi, of course don't have a home in Japan, so when I come back to Japan for a short visit like this, I naturally go back to my parents' house. Of course, I could have stayed at Hitagi's house - or rather, since we got married and registered our marriage (this expression is also very old-fashioned. Should we say we registered our marriage?), it would seem like the natural thing to do, but she is still living at her parents' house at 24 years old.
In other words, she still lives at Tamkura-so. With her father. Just the two of them.
She lived in a dormitory during her university days, and after that, when she got a job in the US, she apparently settled there, but since she came back to Japan to set up the branch of her new employer, she doesn't seem to have gone round to any real estate agencies.
I want to build a good relationship with Hitagi's father, and when I think about how I met Hitagi, I miss Tamkura-so, but I can't bring myself to barge in and spend the night there.
I suppose I'm attached to her.
Although it may be an obsession.
A honeymoon is a honeymoon, and more than anything, we should have first decided on a new home, but in the end I had to return to Washington after my honeymoon to continue my training, which had been dragging on for some reason - and although I boast and say I'm with the FBIFBI, in reality I'm an apprentice at an elite organization, a low-ranking subordinate at the very bottom - my usual position, so to speak - and considering Hitagi's career and position, she couldn't just leave Japan.
Whether we get married or not, it's a long-distance relationship.
You could say that this is why the form, or formality, of marriage was necessary - no matter how old or timeless it was, Senjougahara Hitagi had to become Araragi Hitagi. Or perhaps I should have become Senjougahara Koyomi.
Well, I've given all sorts of plausible reasons, but ultimately, both Hitagi and I may still have the mentality of a child unable to leave our parents' home.
As for Hitagi, she's been in a single-parent household since high school, and she's had her rebellious and daddy's girl phases, and there are more complicated issues that may have made her feel like she can't leave her father alone - and the fact that she hasn't asked her father to accompany her on the honeymoon might be a sign of her growing up.
It's a sign of her becoming independent.
I don't want our family to fall apart again, so I can't help but be cautious about building a new family with her. I hope this honeymoon will be the start of that.
Hmm? Me?
The Araragi family?
No, no, Section Chief Koga said it a little too, but my parents, the Araragis - we are the Araragis too - have become even more important since I was in high school, and have been seconded to the capital for a long time. I said something grandiose about returning to my parents' house because I had returned home, but when I returned to my parents' house, my parents were nowhere to be found.
The Araragi family is now protected by his younger sister Karen - Officer Araragi Karen of the Naoetsu Police Department's Public Safety Division, living alone in a house.
So, returning to Japan like this makes me look like an older brother being supported by his younger sister... It's about the worst possible picture of the future of young Araragi in his high school days.
"Big brother. Dinner's ready. Eat, eat. Oh, I've boiled the bath, so you can use it whenever you like."
"...You've grown up to be a fine adult."
I wonder why I had such a low opinion of you in middle school, high school me. Looking back, I can only say that it was unfair. If things were different, I'd want to cut my stomach open and apologize.
I'm proud to say that while I left Japan and was working in Washington as a low-level worker, she's still growing taller and has an unusually tall build, and apparently became number one in police judo in Japan... number one! How did she do that? Also, you may have forgotten this because it's an initial setting that never happened, but she was originally a karateka... judo is not her specialty. "Well, even if you say number one in Japan, bro. It's separate for boys and girls, and judo has weight classes. So even if you praise me, it doesn't really feel right. That's why I switched my required subjects to kendo now." "She's always trying to break into another field..." I was genuinely worried about what kind of adult the girl who was aiming to be the strongest on earth as a fire sister at Tsuganoki Kinochu would become, but when it turned out like this, there was no need to worry. She's seriously the strongest... And she's protecting her home. By herself. "I didn't think I was suited to fighting with weapons, but now that I've used one, I find swords to be good. They're deep. Well, I used to carry all my pistols when I was a uniformed police officer, so the aesthetics of bare handed combat had long since disintegrated." "Your marksmanship training was excellent, wasn't it?" "In the end, it's all about eyesight." He's talking like an expert... but I currently live in America, a country known for its guns, and I live in fear every day. Even if they're not loaded with silver bullets, guns are scary. Honestly, as a career man, I'm not used to pistols... and I skip out on marksmanship training, let alone judo or kendo. It's the Columbo approach. He's a bad cop who doesn't have the face to face Hanekawa. My high school days of battling are really a thing of the past now... I can't reveal the details of the Rumors Division's work, which is secret, but shouldn't I take this girl with me as a battler on my honeymoon?
She could seriously exterminate monsters with the force of her fists... If I were to bring my sister along, it would really take the honeymoon feeling away... Although we had a bad relationship at the time, she is really a sister I'm proud of.
I'd like to go on a trip just between us sometime.
She's my only precious little sister.
Huh? You say the Araragi family had two sisters? What do you mean... Unlike Hanekawa, I don't know anything about my sister, whose whereabouts and what she's doing are unknown.
She even skipped her brother's wedding.
That littlest child has become a magnificent adult, just as I worried she would. I thought I was living a fairly unconventional life, but compared to her, my life was pretty well on the rails.
Just having a youngest sibling with that level of freedom could cost me, Karen, and even my parents their jobs as public servants.
"Seriously, I wish she'd just drop the Araragi name."
"Don't go that far, big brother. Isn't she your cute little sister?"
Yeah. Well, I went too far.
I'd like you to think of it as a loving insult.
As someone who has been so immersed in social norms that she has stolen the name of her beloved lover, I honestly envy the freedom to decide not to attend a family wedding if it's too far away or too troublesome.
And in fact, if he - or Karen - were to marry someone good, I might cry at the time, but I might have mixed feelings about the fact that their surnames would change.
Araragi Karen and Araragi Tsukihi would be gone. Especially Karen, who is protecting the Araragi family all by herself right now...
You're Araragi more than anyone else.
"What should I do? If you two get married, should I adopt you afterwards?"
"You're saying crazy things that remind me of your high school days, big brother. Instead of that, think about how you're going to enjoy your honeymoon starting tomorrow."
"I thought it was a good idea, it made me smile."
"You're just taking a break, big brother."
"Smile."
"Don't give me that weird smile."
Hmm.
Adopted, huh?
"Right now, on the eve of our honeymoon, I feel like having a long talk with my sister for the first time in a while. I never thought I'd be able to spend such a peaceful time with you. I feel like having a drink."
"I'm a fighter, so I don't drink."
A great attitude.
I don't drink much either, but Hitagi has had it as a hobby since her school days. It's not that it doesn't suit her constitution, but rather that she dislikes losing her senses. You could say it's a lifestyle that suits her, wanting to always be under control.
What about Kanbaru? Considering her experiences in high school, I think she also dislikes losing her senses...
"That said, I need to prepare for traveling. So I want to ask you something: Karen, before you got a job, you went on solo camping trips all over Japan, right?"
"Yeah, I did. To be precise, I stayed in the mountains."
You really did grow up to be quite decent.
Divine will is truly complicated.
"We're going to do that on our honeymoon - not mountain retreat, but camping - do you have any advice from someone with experience?"
"Don't fight bears."
"Please give me some more amateur advice."
"That's amateur advice. I fought them. I got hurt."
My little sister has grown up to be a fine young lady, but she was a total mess in her teens... you can't beat the heat. In that sense, Tsukihi has had a long teenage years. She's like a phoenix.
"I've never done anything like glamping, let alone mountain retreat. In the sense that you get ingredients locally, it might be similar to mountain retreat."
"No, we're not going hunting."
Glamping is just a way of saying you can go there empty-handed, and you don't need survival skills... or at least that's what I think. The "grand" in glamping doesn't mean "ground."
"What about tents?"
"They should have been prepared beforehand. I say tents, but they're more like shelters."
I wanted advice, but I ended up explaining... I only had knowledge from guidebooks.
I didn't even get a taste of it, let alone a little.
"I see. That's similar to going into the mountains. When I went into the mountains, I started by looking for cave shoes."
"Don't compare it to natural shelters. You're really lucky to be alive, you know."
"I'm still alive because of that experience. I did the same kind of training when I got the job, even in police training. Training like marching through the mountains."
"Are you in a special forces unit or something?"
I'm also in a secret department called the Rumor Division, but are you in the SAT?
It may be that I'm exempt from that kind of training because I'm a career officer... but even at the FBI, I'm a suit-wearing guy, even if I'm just a low-ranking officer. Young Araragi is really lukewarm.
After hearing such a tough story, I don't think there's any need to be so scared about his first camping experience... Since he's not used to it, he ends up worrying excessively. Maybe he's just too reluctant to fail?
"I haven't even been camping since I was a university student... This might be my first overnight trip."
"You used to go on overnight trips a lot, didn't you, big brother? Like Tsukihi-chan is doing now."
Is that so?
Oh, I see. For example, during my hellish spring break, I spent about two weeks in an old cram school, and in my university days, I even spent time with Ononoki-chan in an old castle in Europe...
If you're counting glamping and living in ruins, it's not like I've never been on an overnight trip before. I've even been on a hell trip, although it was a day trip.
A day trip from hell.
I'm surprised you made it back.
"I see. Now that I think about it, I was a bit nervous. I'd done all my research and preparations for the trip, which is not something I'd do."
"It's about time you fixed your impromptu approach.
I think that would be better."
After giving her a critical remark,
"But isn't the reason you're nervous not because it's glamping or an overnight trip, but because it's your first time traveling with Senjougahara-san?"
My little sister was getting all riled up.
Are you interrogating me?
"Oh, sorry. Not Senjougahara-san, you mean Mrs. Araragi."
"How about calling me Mrs. Araragi?"
It's like Oishinbo.
Come to think of it, in that work, when Kurikurita-san and Yamaoka-san got married, they talked about having separate surnames for married couples. The scary thing is that times haven't moved on at all since then.
"You're Araragi too."
"Should I call you Hitagi-san? It feels like you're suddenly getting closer. Hitagi, sister-in-law?"
Hmm.
So Karen is finally a sister-in-law too. "Well, we've become close relatives, so isn't it a good thing to close the distance? If anything happens when I'm away from Japan, I want her to rely on me."
On the other hand, if something happens to her, I want you to help her out as a police officer and as a sister-in-law.
"Yeah, leave that to me, big brother. I'm thinking of having Hitagi manage my tiger cubs."
"Even though we're relatives, we should have separate wallets."
We have a good relationship, so I don't want to get into any weird arguments...especially when it comes to money. Hitagi is already conflicted about the fact that she ended up in a similar profession to the conman she hated so much.
The reason I became a police officer was to catch those kinds of conmen...this isn't a suspense drama, so I don't want to have my wife arrested.
If that's the case, they should still crack down on rumors...even on their honeymoon.
Spreading rumors is like fraud, isn't it?
"As the wife of a police officer, she must have been properly investigated, right? Sister-in-law Hitagi, too."
"Was she properly investigated? Considering the brutality she committed in high school...I wonder if such investigations are actually carried out?"
"The fact that my brother and I were able to become police officers makes me suspicious."
You could also say that becoming Japan's best police judoist was just a result of our excellent skills...as for me, I can't help but think that it was my parents' connections.
On the other hand, if Karen and I managed to get through the investigation, then maybe there's no problem with stationery-loving Hitagi becoming a police officer's wife...and Chief Kouga didn't say anything in particular when I told him about our marriage. As the head of the Rumors Division, and as Gaen's confidant, there's no way he wouldn't know about Hitagi's behavior when she was Senjougahara Hitagi, being caught between two crabs.
"It's the times, and you can't just not allow her to marry him just because he's a weirdo, right? You could just send him to a super-window-worthy department."
"Where's a super-window-worthy department in the police...?"
Maybe the Rumors Division.
Since it's a window-worthy department, it seems like it would have a good ventilation.
"Well, I'm practically exiled overseas..."
Getting back to the point, it's true that I was constantly on overnight trips... or rather, I had plenty of experience of periodically going missing. But even during my time at Naoetsu Private High School, or at the National Naoetsu University, I never went on an overnight trip with Hitagi, whether it was camping or a hotel.
Whether domestic or overseas, his travel companions were always young girls, young children, or young women... I'm surprised he was able to become a police officer.
"I see. Honeymoons, in Sakamoto Ryoma's time, probably had that kind of aspect to them. It's probably not like that at all now, but it was like the first long trip with your lifelong partner."
"They say you can see a person's true character when you travel together. On the other hand, it's also a chance to open up to them. I came to understand a bear after a fierce battle."
"The story was relatable up until halfway through, but then it turned into a story about retreating to the mountains. Or rather, it becomes like a fairy tale about Kintaro retreating to the mountains."
The retreating to the mountains is a story about traveling alone, but as a karateka, Karen would have had plenty of experience in training camps, so the part about his true character is worth listening to. It's humane, I guess.
"It's good that my brother, who likes to go abroad without a passport, has started to carefully prepare for his trips, but surely there's no need to be so worried? A little argument on the road now isn't going to break the bond between you and Hitagi-sister-in-law."
We've been friends for almost ten years now, he said, and it's true, but the person I've been friends with for ten years since I was in high school is Senjougahara Hitagi.
Not Araragi Hitagi.
Without fear of being misunderstood, or rather, no matter how hard I try to be considerate, I can't avoid misunderstandings, but I feel as if I'm rebuilding my relationship with Hitagi from scratch - if that's the difference between a romantic relationship and a marriage relationship (from the legal perspective), then that's probably exactly right.
It's like my relationship with Kiss-Shot Acerola-Orion Heart-Under-Blade and my relationship with Oshino Shinobu were far more than just completely different, they were polar opposites.
"Is it a sense of family unity that comes from unifying the family name? It feels like a whole whole, but I can't really imagine that this is it."
"But isn't the reason the Araragi family, which has almost fallen apart like a family, is still barely connected like this because there is a minimum sense of unity, bro?"
That may be true.
Especially from the perspective of the one that has been torn apart.
However, I had never thought about it until I found myself in this position, but if that sense of unity - something like that - was born from my mother changing her family name in the first place, then I, the eldest son, was completely unaware of this historical fact.
It may be obvious, but ever since I was old enough to understand, my mother had always had the surname Araragi - and while I knew, intellectually, that she had a different surname before she got married, I wasn't really aware of it.
There must have been a different sense of unity before that.
Marriage was an opportunity to tear me away from that unity. In a way, it's like not acknowledging my mother as someone other than her - or at least not as someone prior to her existence.
"Phew. In that case, I guess I have to go to Senjougahara after all."
"I think you're the luckiest person in Japan, just for having met a spouse who appreciates your sense of style."