The sun had barely cleared the edge of Magnolia's rooftops when Kaia Veyris declared war on her own body by the act of simply trying to sit up.
"Arghhh, what in Fiore's flaming backside !"
Every muscle in her body howled like it had been individually cursed by a sadistic necromancer. Her back was a tapestry of pain, her arms felt like they'd been forged from wood and betrayal, and her legs... she wasn't even sure she had legs anymore. Just vaguely attached regrets.
She flopped back onto the bed, groaning into her pillow like a tragic ghost.
"Styme," she rasped. "Am I dying?"
[Unclear. But your survival odds did just drop below 'mildly encouraging'.]
"Great. Love the support."
[On the upside, your Level-Up from the Natsu duel granted you two unspent stat points.]
Kaia cracked one swollen eye open. "Oh yeah. My reward for almost dying in a ring of fire and fireworks. Let me guess… can I put one point into 'Regret Resistance'?"
[Sadly, that's a maxed-out passive. But I suggest spending your points before your next Erza-Induced Trauma™.]
A soft, blue panel shimmered into view above her bed.
STAT POINT ALLOCATION – AVAILABLE: 2
→ Vitality: 7 ➝ Tempting. She did want to survive stairs without groaning.
→ Magic Power: 40 ➝ Always nice to not sputter like a dying lantern.
→ Control: 12 ➝ Ah yes. The difference between "powerful sorceress" and "oops I bent time again."
→ Luck: 99 ➝ Already so high it was probably illegal.
→ Sanity: …questionable.
After several grunts, a few curse words, and an internal monologue about how she should've joined a librarian guild, Kaia reluctantly invested one point in Vitality and one in Control.
The air shimmered slightly as the change took hold. Her breath deepened. Her fingers flexed with a little less rebellion.
[Stat Boost Registered.]
[New Passive Ability Unlocked: Chrono-Instinct (Lv.1)]
Chrono-Instinct: Your body, tethered faintly to shifting timelines, gains a microsecond reflex boost when immediate danger is sensed. Still unstable. May cause temporary déjà vu, minor spatial blinks, or ill-timed somersaults. Use responsibly.
Kaia raised an eyebrow. "So… my reward for nearly exploding is randomly flailing when something scary approaches?"
[Technically, yes. But you'll flail slightly faster.]
"Terrific."
She sighed, rolled onto her side, and tried to strategize her next move—only to jolt upright at the very distinct sound of armored boots echoing down the hallway.
"Oh no."
A knock thundered on her half-broken door before she could even reach the edge of the bed.
"Kaia?" came the voice of doom in the smooth, calm tone of Erza Scarlet. "Are you decent?"
"I don't know anymore!" Kaia squeaked.
The door creaked open, hinges groaning like they'd aged thirty years overnight. Erza entered with a tray in her hands, perfectly balanced and ominously steaming.
"I brought you something," she said.
Kaia's survival instincts screamed. "It's not… food, is it?"
Erza blinked, mildly offended. "Of course not. It's an energy tonic. For muscle recovery."
The mug on the tray looked normal enough. It even had a cheery little sun painted on the side. But whatever substance lay inside it shimmered in ways that defied natural color theory. It was equal parts green, purple, and somehow regret-colored.
"Did you… make this yourself?" Kaia asked cautiously.
"Yes. From ingredients I grew in my dormitory garden. And one root I acquired from a traveling alchemist who may have been cursed."
Kaia took the mug with two hands, staring into the abyss of its contents.
"I don't want to be rude," she began gently, "but this smells like burnt socks and ambition."
Erza sat beside the bed, her armor clinking softly. "It works. Trust me. I drank one after my last battle with Mira, and I only passed out once."
Kaia's smile was thin. "So reassuring."
She braced herself and took the tiniest sip possible.
Her mouth immediately went numb. Her toes curled. Her past lives recoiled in horror.
"That's… invigorating," Kaia wheezed, blinking away tears.
Erza seemed pleased. "Good. You'll recover in no time."
As Kaia tried to discreetly hide the rest of the mug behind her bedside curtain, Erza reached into a satchel and pulled out a length of dull, chipped steel.
"This is for you," she said. "Your first weapon. A practice blade."
Kaia reached for it curiously. The moment she touched the hilt, the system pinged again.
[New Item: Training Blade – "Could Be Worse" Edition]
Durability: 37%Sharpness: QuestionablePersonality: Sarcastic (imagined)
Erza pulled a small whetstone from her belt and handed it over.
"Do you know how to sharpen a blade?" she asked.
Kaia puffed up slightly. "Please. I watched one instructional video."
She began dragging the stone across the edge with great ceremony and immediately sliced her finger.
"OW. Okay, betrayal! That was betrayal!"
Erza reached over, completely unfazed, and wrapped Kaia's finger with a strip of linen in two clean motions.
"Pressure here," she instructed. "You moved too fast."
"I always move too fast," Kaia muttered, holding up her bandaged finger. "Chrono magic, remember?"
Erza raised an eyebrow. "Then learn to move when it matters."
For a moment, the silence between them was heavy but not uncomfortable. Kaia, feeling unexpectedly seen, nodded.
Before more could be said, a knock sounded an actual one this time at the barely-hinged door. A head popped in. It was Levy, holding a scroll.
"Hey! Sorry to interrupt, but Makarov wants to assign Kaia her first official mission."
Kaia perked up despite herself. "Finally! Something simple and gloriously unburnable."
"It's a D-rank," Levy said, passing over the scroll with a grin. "But Makarov said it would 'build character'."
Kaia unrolled it and read aloud:
Mission D-049Escort a cart of beets to the Harlon Market.Do not eat the beets.Do not weaponize the beets.Do not time-fling the beets.
She looked up, stone-faced. "I already have so many questions."
Levy shrugged. "Standard precautions after Natsu's Great Turnip Incident."
Erza gave a small nod of approval. "Good. You'll gain experience without facing immediate death."
Kaia held the scroll like it might bite her. "Beet protection duty. What a life."
[New Mission Received!]
Mission: Beet It
Objective: Escort a vegetable cart without causing magical or agricultural disaster.Reward: 250 EXP, 500 Jewels, 1 suspiciously shiny beet (optional).
As Levy left, Kaia groaned dramatically, flopping back onto her pillows.
Erza stood and adjusted her gauntlet. "You'll do fine."
Kaia peeked up at her. "Thanks for the, uh… tea. And the door trauma."
Erza gave a rare, amused look. "That door was weak anyway."
Kaia grinned. "Guess I'll need a stronger one. Or, I dunno, a Chrono-lock."
Erza's lips twitched in what might've been the ghost of a smile.
"Rest well, Kaia," she said, turning to go. "You'll need your strength. Beets are surprisingly resilient."
Left alone with her ridiculous quest and burning tastebuds, Kaia stared at the ceiling and sighed.
"This guild," she said aloud, "is going to be the end of me."
[But it'll be hilarious.]
She grinned, pulling the blankets up to her chin.
"Yeah. That part's fair."