DUNGEON FILE 015:
FETCH QUEST
THE SOUTHERN CRYPT
HIGHLY DANGEROUS
I detest crypts.
They smell like bodies buried alive and mildew, and this—this—Southern Crypt, the third place I had to go for my fetch quest? Worse than I expected. Worse than the Gloaming Citadel. Worse than the Marsh. Just… worse.
This area located on the Dungeon's first layer lies just past those crumbly old ruins near the [Well] and the outer perimeter of the [Sanctuary].
It reeked of dust and damp stone, and felt like a perpetual maze of darkness littered in ancient trash. Shards of smashed clay burial urns, abandoned shrines, and things of that sort which all made me… quite uncomfortable.
I adjusted my jester's cap, pulling it lower in a futile attempt to block out the stench. It was pointless. The ground beneath my thin boots was saturated, bubbling with some unknowable mixture of crypt-water, gods-know-what fluids, and ancient goop of some sort.
Squish. Squish.
Hopefully water. Almost certainly not.
I kept one gloved hand along the crumbling travertine wall to steady myself. If there were pressure plates here—and of course there were—I'd rather not end my life skewered by the pathetic trap of some Hunter.
My last two expeditions had been quite terrible, but this? This was just mean…
The Dismal Marsh was a swamp filled with biting insects and slimy creatures that seemed determined to make my life miserable. Nothing strong enough to cause serious damage, but annoying nonetheless.
Then, the Gloaming Citadel was even worse—Turns out Wizard's Caps mushrooms have a tendency to randomly burst into flames, or cast other completely random spells, hence the name.
Now, I'm on the third item. The Deathshade plants were supposed to be near the crypt's burial pits, or at least that's what Niamh had said. She hadn't offered much else in the way of help, as if finding plants in a crypt full of Gods-only-know-what wasn't already hard enough.
Still, in a morbid way, I was grateful. The Marsh and Citadel were largely free of predators or Hunters. Not like the time I stumbled into the Silver Castle by accident and had to run for my life from Unbound. I assumed Niamh would most likely want the goods (and me) to come back in one piece.
…Most likely.
"[Check]," I whispered to myself.
[Quest: "The 'You-Owe-Me' Quest!"]
• Collect: 50x Mudder's Moss —Complete!
• Collect: 50x Wizard Caps — Complete!
• Collect: 30x Deathshade — In Progress (0/30)
Easy, Niamh said. "Perfect for my beginner errand-runners," she said…
I was going to pour those Wizard Caps into her tea and see how she liked randomly exploding hallucinations!
The only area that seemed any different was the crypt, or at least the Southern portion of it, which gave that dreaded "Highly Dangerous" warning.
As if on cue, a low grunt then echoed from the depths of the crypt, and I froze.
"Right…!" I mumbled to myself half-heartedly, grip tightening around Abyssion's leather-wrapped handle. "Focus. Find the plants, don't die, get the hell out. Sooo simple…"
So far, this Southern Crypt had offered little but empty chambers and smashed relics. Old clay pots shattered into dust, shrines long abandoned, and a disturbing sense that there were probably traps I didn't have the experience to sense here yet.
Nevertheless, I pressed on.
The first chamber I checked was empty, except for an altar that had collapsed under the weight of irrelevance. A skeleton sat slumped nearby, its skull split like a melon.
Lovely!
I gave it a polite nod and moved on.
The second chamber was more of the same: smashed urns, defaced carvings, dust thicker than volcano ash.
Then, finally, the third room—burial pits, moisture dripping from the ceiling, and in the center, a shallow pool of dark, glistening water, and there, at the edges, the thin, translucent shape of waxy white Deathshade blooms.
My breath caught.
Deathshade!
Finally. Carefully, I crouched.
Drew the old gathering knife Niamh had loaned me—its edge was dull, naturally—and cut one of the blooms at the base. I held it up, heart fluttering with the rare sensation of actual success.
"Yes…"
"[Check]."
[Quest: "The 'You-Owe-Me' Quest!"]
• Collect: 50x Mudder's Moss — Complete!
• Collect: 50x Wizard Caps — Complete!
• Collect: 30x Deathshade — In Progress (0/30)
…
"What."
I stared at the message. Then at the plant. Then back at the message.
"No no no. That has to count. This is literally shade, and it's literally growing where things die! What more do you want from me?!"
"That would be Fool's Deathshade."
A voice, cool and flat, cut through the air like a blade.
I nearly dropped the plant.
A petite figure stood at the chamber's entrance, barely illuminated by the ghostlight. Robed, armored, and holding a shield nearly bigger than herself. Her skin gleamed almond-colored and smooth, and a short layered shag framed her mostly shadowed face.
From the little I could see of her face, her features had the profile of someone from the Syenite Empire.
But there was something I've never seen…
Eats. Tall, triangular. Furred. And a tail. Long, swaying behind her like a ffluffy metronome .
Some kind of dungeon beast? No… something different, but definitely not human. Fuck!
She stepped forward without sound. I, meanwhile, stood frozen in place like a rat under a cat's gaze (which seems like quite the apt metaphor for the situation…).
"Ahem… that tail of yours. Are you an Unbound?" I asked, voice cracking. "Would you even tell me if you were?"
The woman raised an eyebrow and pointed at the blossom in my hand.
"…Hmph, that's highly offensive! No, I'm not a beast, but you're certainly an idiot, picking all that Fool's Deathshade. It's completely harmless. It won't kill you unless you eat thirty pounds of it raw. Useless for alchemy. Useless for poison. Useless in general. But hey, if you want to make bad tea, knock yourself out… idiot."
"Eh? Fool's deathshade?"
"Tsk. If you've been wandering around here without respiratory protection, you would've been dead already. The air's laced with pollen from the real thing. Either you've got a guardian angel, or you've got no brain in that skull of yours for the pollen to latch onto."
I opened my mouth to argue, but nothing came out, other than a pathetic, "How was I supposed to know?"
The mysterious cat lady sighed.
"How, indeed," she purred, her tone biting condescendingly. "Clearly, you've no business being here. You're out of your depth!"
"Hey!!"
"Relax," the woman said, her tone more dismissive than reassuring. "If I wanted you dead, you'd already be on the floor. I've no interest in killing fools—Or, uh, jesters, in your case. You wouldn't have lasted five minutes if I wasn't already clearing out the nastier things down here, anyways!"
I bristled, but fear kept me from snapping back.
Compose yourself, Ayauhcihuatl. You are not some common fool! Dignity, even when humiliated.
"I—I appreciate the intervention. By the way, my name is Lady Ayauhcihuatl—"
"I truly do not care."
"H-hey! Rude!"
She turned away without another word.
"Wait," I blurted, desperate not to let the moment slip away. Clearly this person knows things! "Do you—could you tell me where to find the real Deathshade?"
The cat lady stopped but didn't turn back.
"No."
"Why not?"
"I'm not your guide!" she hissed simply. "The name's Ta-Miu. I'm a mercenary, hired to protect my client while they do their business in this crypt. Clearing the path of monsters, hunters, and, apparently, incompetent gatherers like you."
…That wasn't exactly comforting.
"I—Thank you, I suppose?" I tried.
Ta-Miu cut me off with a sharp wave of her clawed hand.
"Listen, Ayahu-whatever. You're lucky I found you before something else did. Take that luck and leave before it runs out."
With that, she vanished down another tunnel, silent like a true cat.
I stood there for a moment, cheeks burning hotter than the fire from one of those stupid Wizard Caps.
"…Haaah," I sighed, dragging my feet toward the exit. The crypt air clung to my skin like cobwebs soaked in fear. My lungs were probably already half-dead…
I pulled my jester hat tight around my mouth and nose. It wasn't real protection, like Ta-Miu's cloak, but it was all I had.
How humiliating. Maybe, if I survived long enough to get back to [Sanctuary], I could die of embarrassment instead and avoid another long painful death like last time.
…Nah. As nice as it would be to see Jiang Fēi again, I'd rather not have our second meeting be as embarrassing as the first.
Speaking of an embarrassing potential death, the second I walked away from my encounter with Ta-Miu…
A faint click echoed beneath my boot.
Snap.
A tripwire??
I was so embarrassed, I forgot to watch out for traps!
The stone beneath me vanished like it hadn't been there at all, and suddenly, I was plummeting down into the pitch-black guts of some random pit.
"Wha—?!"Gods, it hurts!
Where did I even land?
There wasn't even time to scream properly. I could sense a freezing rush of air, stone flashing past my vision, and then—
"Yalahwi! What the hell did you do now?!" A yowl interrupted the sound of my crash echoing throughout the crypt.
"I—I tripped!?" I coughed, trying to sit up. "I didn't mean to fall into a deathtrap!"
"You triggered a hunter's snare," she snapped. I could hear her tail flicking, probably annoyed. "Stay where you are. Do not move. You'll only make it worse for me and my client by setting random bullshit off. Dear Gods, you'd be dead five times over now if not for me."
No kidding. I tried to stand, but my body was screaming. Every joint felt like it had been compressed by a massive boulder.
I looked around.
The faint light from the hole above filtered down just enough to show me the horror I'd fallen into:
Deathshade.
Dozens, no, hundreds, of pale, waxy stalks curled up from the cracked earth like ghostly hands. Their translucent petals shimmered with a sickly sheen, their scent thick enough to choke a warrior. They practically composed the entire floor; I'd fallen into a damn flowerbed of death.
Immediately, I pulled my jester's hat over my mouth, breathing in short, panicked gasps. I could already feel the spores digging into my lungs like tiny knives…
"Oh, for the love of—DON'T MOVE!"
Ta-Miu's voice cracked like a whip, and I heard it—footsteps. Another set. Heavy, terrifying.
Was that the hunter who set up this trap? Real one this time. Not the crypt's traps or random noises in my head.
"I said stay put! You move, and you die!"
Another sound. Metal striking metal. The telltale clang of steel-on-spear; Ta-Miu was fighting whoever this guy was, and I was sitting in a poison flower pit like an idiot.
They were getting closer to the entrance of the pit, trying to kill me like a sitting duck.
Another flash of light illuminated the darkness. The unmistakable sound of metal cutting through the air. The flash of blades in the dark, gleaming like stars in the night. The hunter hissed—Ta-Miu was standing at the top of the hole, silhouette flashing in and out of sight, her shield parrys flashing like lightning in the murk.
That cat lady probably doesn't even know how bad my current situation is…!
"I can't just—!" I whispered, but my voice didn't carry. My hand twitched. I had to move. I had to get out. The walls were rough, which means probably climbable. My fingers scrabbled at the stone, seeking any purchase at all, but I couldn't see a damn thing, much less tell up from down.
Just get out!
You need to get out !!
And then my brain stopped working, because I remembered it. My stupid quest log still ticking in the background of my mind
[Deathshade Collected: 0/30]
…I can't leave without it.
I reached down, grabbed a handful of the vile flowers, and shoved them into my bag.
Even if I died, I was not dying empty-handed… Maybe Niamh could pick up my corpse, even if I'd just be in way more debt.
Then there was another clash above. Ta-Miu shouted something, but it was drowned in the roar of the hunter's boots. Closer now. Ta-Miu, doing whatever she was doing, wasn't going to keep the bastard busy forever.
Gripping the rocky edges of the pit with one hand, I pushed up, feet finding ledges against the walls of the narrow hole. Each breath made my head swim. My arms shook with the effort, my legs barely worked, and my jester's hat, the only layer between me and the death shade spores, had slipped.
No. No. No!
Too late.
The spores hit me like a brick wall. I coughed—violently. Blood in my mouth, a thick painful veil over all of my senses. My vision swam. My fingers slipped.
And then, weightlessness.
Falling.
Again.
I braced for the impact, for the cold, sweet embrace of death once more,
But it didn't come.
Instead, something caught me.
"Goddamn idiot," said Ta-Miu, her face looming above me as she hauled me out of the pit with one arm like I weighed nothing.
My vision blurred. Her gold-flecked eyes glowed in the dark like a pair of sacred relics. Her ears twitched as she hoisted me over the edge and dumped me like a sack of rice.
"Idiot. Idiot. Idiot. I should charge you for wasting my time," she hissed flatly.
I blinked up at her. "…I was fine. I was close to… almost surviving."
"You're not fine, dumbass," Ta-Miu snapped, already turning away. "You passed out and nearly fell a second time. Gods, maybe you do have a guardian angel. Or you're some sort of freaky masochist. If I hadn't managed to drive away the hunter, you'd have been… Uh, I don't know, double dead? Whatever. Stay here, or do what you want. I need to finish what I came for."
Ta-Miu crossed her arms, tail swishing with absolute, unfiltered judgment. After a brief, uncomfortable silence, I wiped my mouth, still hacking out the bitter remnants of the spores on my tongue.
"I didn't... I didn't mean to fall like that," I muttered, voice hoarse. "Obviously, y'know. I just... I needed the plants. I thought I could make it."
Ta-Miu rolled her eyes, stepping back.
"Whatever. Don't expect me to be there next time." Her hands rested on her shield, and her gaze flickered toward the darkened tunnels of the crypt beyond. "I've got my own job to do, and you—" She waved a hand dismissively. "You can't even get out of a hole without trying to die."
"I—" I repeated weakly. "I just needed the flowers…"
"Congratulations, you got them. And nearly got your lungs turned into soup. You want a medal? Or maybe a leash?"
I coughed again, clutching my satchel close to my chest. Then, I watched her disappear into the darkness again, shield at the ready, footsteps light and catlike like she belonged in this death-pit of a world.
Soon… With enough effort, I might belong too.