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By the time Kain reached the tree, the Skypieans had started following.
Not marching. Not storming. Just... trailing behind him. Quietly. Cautiously. Like kids watching a wild animal that had suddenly started doing math.
He didn't notice them at first—or acted like he didn't. He just lay back in the grass, hands behind his head, eyes half-lidded against the drifting clouds above. The chaos was over. The world had gone still again. That was all he cared about.
But Gan Fall cleared his throat nearby.
Kain sighed.
"Didn't I say I was trying to nap?"
"Yes," Gan Fall replied, soft but persistent. "But the people have questions."
Kain cracked one eye open. "Why do people always get chatty after a fight? It's like adrenaline makes them philosophers."
"They want to know how you did it. What you believe. What kind of man can casually beat off an Invincible Go- man like Enel."
He stared at the old man for a long moment. Then, reluctantly, Kain sat up.
Not because he wanted to.
But because even he knew when a nap had officially been ruined.
He stood up slowly, brushing grass off his pants, and looked around at the small crowd forming. Some of them had bruises from the earlier scuffle. Some still looked ready to bolt if he twitched. But all of them were listening.
He groaned. Then gave in.
"Alright. Fine. You want to know how I did it? Then listen up!" He stretched one arm, cracked his neck. "It's not about fighting. It's not about power. It's about how not to do either of those things."
A few people looked at each other, confused.
"Laziness," Kain said, pointing a thumb at himself. "That's the secret."
More silence.
He nodded, serious now. Should he impart them the one true wisdom? Were they even worthy? Only Time and their own unmotivated efforts would tell.
"Let me tell you about the Ten Lazy Commandment. Learn these, and you'll never have to work harder than necessary again."
He raised a finger while clearing his throat,
"1. Man is born tired and lives to rest.
"Stop acting like you were meant to grind. You weren't. You were meant to nap."
"2. Love thy bed as you love thyself.
"If your bed's not your best friend, you're doing it wrong."
"3. Rest during the day, so you can sleep at night.
"Nap now. Nap later. It's a cycle."
"4. Do not work. Work kills.
"Working too hard breaks the spirit. Laziness keeps it intact."
"5. If you see someone resting, help them out.
"Let 'em nap. Cover 'em with a blanket. Bring snacks. Be a decent person."
"6. Work as little as you can and transfer all the work you can to another.
"It's not lazy if it's strategic."
"7. There is salvation in shade. Nobody died from resting. The opposite is true.
"Shade is sacred. Worship it."
"8. The best way to make a living is to live off someone else.
"Preferably someone with bad boundaries and too much money."
"9. If you have to work, work slowly and at your own pace.
"Rush jobs lead to regrets."
"10. If you have to work, don't work too hard.
"Repeat this one often. Especially to your boss."
-
He paused after finishing.
The crowd didn't clap. They didn't cheer. Most of them just blinked.
But a few—just a few—nodded slowly. A couple of them even sat down, as if trying out the lifestyle mid-sermon.
Gan Fall scratched the back of his head. "That's… certainly different from Enel's gospel."
"Yeah, well. Mine doesn't involve frying people with lightning. Which is stupid. People make awful teriyaki."
The old man chuckled quietly.
"Alright," Kain said, lying back down again. "Now seriously—nobody talk to me for an hour."
He pulled his hoodie over his eyes.
And just like that, the crowd began to quietly disperse—some chuckling, some whispering, and more than a few glancing up at the clouds, thinking thoughts that didn't include gods or fear for once.
Just naps.
Kain didn't wake up right away.
He didn't roll over. Didn't snore. Didn't even twitch.
He just... existed. Still as a rock under the tree, one arm across his chest, the other lazily dangling off the side. The kind of sleep that didn't just heal the body — it erased time.
Around him, Skypiea slowly settled.
Guards went back to their posts, but without the urgency. Villagers whispered about the "lightningless god," some skeptical, some curious, a few genuinely inspired.
No riots. No crusades.
Just calm. The kind you only get after a storm.
Kain shifted slightly in his sleep, a faint smirk curling at the edge of his mouth.
Even in dreams, his body knew the joy of a new nap privilege.
Somewhere inside his subconscious, he whispered: "Finally… peace and productivity. At the same time."
Gan Fall stood nearby, arms folded, watching the so-called lazy lieutenant with the kind of look you'd give a sleeping dragon — grateful it was quiet, but always aware it could wake up.
He'd seen power before. Lots of it. But he'd never seen it come packaged like this.
No ego. No ambition. No monologues.
Just naps, sarcasm, and a punch that bent lightning.
He shook his head and chuckled. "Maybe there's something to this whole philosophy after all."
As the day drifted into dusk, a few younger Skypieans began setting up hammocks between trees. Not as a joke. Not out of laziness. But out of quiet respect.
They didn't understand everything Kain had said. But they understood how it felt to finally slow down.
For the first time in years, no one felt like they had to prove anything.
-
Far above Upper Yard, where the clouds thinned into stars, a faint streak of electricity whispered across the sky.
It didn't roar. It didn't flash.
But it lingered — watching, waiting.
And in that silence, the storm plotted its next move.
-
Kain, for now, didn't care.
His breathing stayed slow. His face stayed calm. The world could rise or fall — it made no difference.
Because for the first time since Garp had ruined his dreams of a weeklong nap, he finally had what he wanted.
A real break.
…
[Post-Credit Scene]
Somewhere in the back of his mind — maybe a dream, maybe not — Kain blinked into a familiar, floating interface. A clean blue screen hovered in the void, waiting for his attention.
He groaned, still half-asleep. "Fine. Let's see what all that lightning bought me."
The Shonen Protagonist System chimed softly:
[Stat Sheet: Kain – The Lazy Marine Protagonist]
- BSP (Battle Shonen Points): 52,340
- Sleep Debt Cleared: 87%
- Stress Level: 8%
- Reputation (Skypiea): ✦✦✦✦☆ – "The Nap Saint"
- Alignment: Chaotic Naptral
[Core Skills]
- Lazy Dragon's Roar (Level 5) A shockwave attack disguised as a yawn. Damage scales with drowsiness.
- Lazy Punch (Level 4)
> A slow-motion strike that warps time and space. Unavoidable if target underestimates it (which they always do).
- Haki Infusion – Passive. Automatically enhances attacks when annoyed or mildly inconvenienced:
-Armament Haki(Intermediate)
-Kenboshuko Haki(Basic)
- Limit Break Routine – Autopilot Mode (Level 6):
-1,000 push-ups, 1,000 sit-ups, 10km run. Can be performed while asleep.
-Note: Causes existential dread in nearby observers. Full potential unlocked after 3 years.
- Nap Mastery (MAXED)
-Immune to Insomnia, awkward sleep surfaces, and 99% of alarms. Can dream for intel and image training.
- Delegation Aura (Level 3)
-Inspires others to do your work for you. Passive guilt emission.
- Nap Dash (Level 5):
-Channel your sleep deprivation frustrations into a burst of evasive speed. Can be further enhanced with Soru.
- Lazy Marine Combat skills(Level 10):
-A compedium of knowledge including, the six powers, Marine tactics, sword proficiency, rifle proficiency gained from Marine Training.
[Perks]
- Free Nap Pass (49 Uses)
-Instantly fall asleep, anytime, anywhere. Includes meetings, battles, speeches, and awkward social events.
- Not My Problem" Buff
-+20% Dodge chance when walking away from responsibilities.
- Garp Trauma Memory Leak (Locked)
-Occasionally triggers flashbacks. Increases speed by 300% for 2 seconds. Cannot be toggled.
---
Kain blinked at the screen, expression flat.
"…Still no 'free snacks' perk. Rude."
With a yawn, he waved the interface away and curled deeper into his spot under the tree, mumbling into the grass.
"Wake me up when they invent a pillow that punches back. Get it? Coz then I could just let it knock me out and have a valid excuse for sleeping."
The system didn't respond.
"The one time I make a joke..." Kain grumbled, drifting off.
He'd earned his rest.