"Shhh—! Pretend I'm not here!"
Cirno pressed a finger to her lips, signaling for Rin and the others to stay quiet while frantically burying herself under a pile of ice pops.
As her tiny figure disappeared beneath the frosty treats, the untouched homework she had been hiding was exposed for all to see.
"Why does your shop always attract the weirdest people?"
Marisa couldn't help but comment. First, there was the "young-looking old hag" (Yukari), the money-obsessed shrine maiden (Reimu), the devilish Remilia, and now the two new alcoholic oni. And now, a little ice fairy hiding in the freezer to avoid homework?
Is there even a single normal person here?!
"Birds of a feather flock together?" Rin rolled his eyes but reached into the freezer to retrieve the homework.
Seeing her secret exposed, Cirno's pupils shrank in panic. She desperately clawed at the book, yanking it back while trying to blend in with the ice pops—even tossing an ice chunk at Rin for good measure.
Rin's eyes twitched. He was about to step outside and shout "Whose kid is this?!" when her guardian suddenly appeared in his line of sight.
Long, snow-white hair cascaded down her back, faintly tinged with sky-blue hues.
An elegant blue dress paired with a refined scholar's cap gave her a gentle, scholarly air—until one's gaze traveled upward and was met with the overwhelming academic pressure of her generous bust, threatening to drag unwary souls into the abyss of knowledge.
Noticing Rin's stare, Keine Kamishirasawa politely nodded at him before her eyes locked onto the freezer.
Her expression darkened. As she stormed over, Marisa instinctively took a step back.
"Why are you scared?"
"That strict look makes me feel like I forgot to do my homework. It's terrifying." Marisa shrank back but peeked at the freezer again, relieved.
At least I'm not the one about to get scolded!
"Excuse me." Keine apologized briefly before yanking open the freezer and plucking Cirno out with surgical precision.
The little ice fairy panicked, flailing wildly in Keine's grip, her screams echoing through the shop.
"HELP! KEINE'S GONNA MURDER ME!!"
"NOOOO! I DON'T WANNA GO BACK TO PRISON!!!"
"LET ME GOOO—!"
THUD.
A single headbutt later, silence returned.
Keine held the now-limp Cirno in one hand and the untouched homework in the other, offering Rin an apologetic bow before leaving.
"Yikes, that headbutt made my head hurt just watching."
"Wouldn't that give her a concussion?"
"Pfft, amateur move. A real master wouldn't even flinch at a weak headbutt like that." The boastful voice came from behind—no need to turn around to know who had just strutted in.
Remilia, now fully recovered, had regained her usual haughty demeanor, hands on her hips like the very picture of dignity.
But the moment Rin glanced at her, she flinched and ducked behind Sakuya.
'Damn it, his ability is too weird. I'm getting PTSD just looking at him! Gotta ask the all-knowing Patchouli if there's a counter!'
Not giving him a chance to speak, Remilia flapped her wings and zoomed toward the back room.
Watching her flee, Rin rolled his eyes—until the Sage's alert popped up.
『 INTRUDER ALERT 』
『 Reimu has located the hidden "Wasted Dreams" Liquor 』
"Already?! What about all the traps I set?"
『 All are avoided with pinpoint accuracy 』 (T/N : Lore-accurate)
"..." Rin's eyelid twitches violently.
He had set up layers of malicious traps to catch Marisa and the others. How the hell did she dodge all of them?!
Just as he was about to rush over, another notification flashed—
『 The intruder has bring the gift box out.. 』
『 Reimu, curious about the liquor's taste, opens the bottle to take a sip 』
Pop.
The sound of a cork being pulled echoed from the back room.
An overwhelming, tangible wave of alcohol-infused mist erupted, flooding the entire shop like a tsunami.
Before anyone could react, it felt like a venomous serpent had clamped onto their throats—dry, burning, an instinctive craving for even a single drop.
Even without drinking, the sheer aroma alone was enough to send their minds spiraling into intoxication.
Faint, feather-like sensations brushed against their cheeks—ticklish yet soothing, lulling them into a dreamlike euphoria.
Illusions flickered before their eyes, fleeting yet intoxicating, leaving them yearning for more.
Suika and Yuugi were on the verge of losing all sanity, eyes bloodshot, drool soaking their uniforms.
"Boss… please… just one sip… Yuugi will do anything..."
"Hah… hah… yeah… I would..." Yuugi muttered deliriously. For a taste, she'd gladly trade years of her life.
If Rin hadn't been holding them back, they would've already charged like rabid beasts.
Meanwhile, Reimu—the one who had opened Pandora's box—was completely entranced.
Her instincts took over as she raised the bottle to her lips.
The moment the liquor touched her tongue, the sound of water echoed in her ears.
It was as if she had been submerged in a warm, heavenly spring, soft feathers caressing every inch of her body in pure bliss.
Warmth seeped into her very bones—until several papers suddenly clung to her skin.
Blinking drunkenly, Reimu squinted and realized—
Money.
Piles and piles of money.
Flooding toward her like a tidal wave.
The shrine maiden's last shred of rationality evaporated.
As she collapsed, she didn't feel the hard floor—instead, she sank into what felt like a bed of cash, her lips curling into a dazed, blissful grin.
"Ri… rich…"
She slurred, her words barely coherent.
The empty bottle rolled away, the sound transforming into the chime of a shrine bell in her ears.
In this drunken dream, she was no longer a penniless shrine maiden—
She was a queen, seated upon a golden throne, the entire Gensokyo bowing before her, offering endless tributes...