I used to know a girl who wore cow tag earrings. A real ray of sunshine, that girl. She said we were all cattle waiting to die. I mean, she was right, but who'd wanna hear that?
The City had a population of around six million people. Of those six million, a good number died or went missing regularly. The difference between cattle, and the citizens of The City was that cattle had an order to their slaughter. Maybe then an ear tag would be nice to have. Death only came as a surprise to the wealthy and powerful of The City, but regular folk like me feared it – For good reason too.
There were a few reasons for the danger within The City's walls. In our sprawling metropolis there was more than just a class disparity. Of the six million people, one in ten was a Monster. You couldn't tell the difference between us unless the Monster let you; Monsters had the ability to change their appearance at will. Skin with inhuman hues and horns growing from their heads was how you could tell them apart. Most of them preferred to keep their Human appearance to get along with the majority of the population, but some didn't care to get along. You'd often hear about it through the internet or neighborhood gossip, mostly horror stories. Something like the bloody disappearance of a partygoer on their way home, or a family found dead with their bodies ripped apart. Humans feared Monsters, and with the amount of Human victims, it didn't take a conspiracy theorist to come up with the idea that disguised Monsters ruled the top of The City like they did the dregs.
There was someone running the show — he didn't have a name as far as anyone knew — people called him The Tsar. No one knew what he looked like or if he really existed, but the Monsters spoke of him. Their stories about him were awful, spectacular. He ran The City with his closest underlings presiding over each of the six districts of The City. Some said he could give Humans and Monsters any power they wished for. Others said his goal was to take over the world outside the unbreachable walls that held us all. He was supposedly omnipotent and knew all your secrets. Some just believed it all to be a load of crap. One thing was for sure: the Monsters who helped Humans were the only reasons we had an idea of what could be going on. They weren't bad at all, but most were as clueless as Humans were.
We all had one thing in common, Monsters and Humans. No did anything. What could we do? Monsters were stronger than Humans by a long shot and yet it seemed all their ire was directed to Humans and not whoever was keeping us locked in our concrete prison. There was only one bridge out of The City, and whoever managed to leave disappeared and never wrote back, or they'd come back as if they'd never tried to leave at all. We really were cattle just waiting to die.
And die I did.
***
The sky was clear when I stepped out of my apartment. The sun would go down in just two hours, though. With the end of summer, it got dark much sooner than I preferred. I used to be a big fan of the earlier nights; the term was nightlife after all. Though, wasn't really my scene anymore. Nowadays, I had a sleep schedule and my days were spent in the shop downstairs. I made my way down the stairs and unlocked the shop's doors again, the chime of the bell above the door and the delightful smell of wood greeting me as I stepped inside.
Every day I sat behind the wooden counter towards the entrance waiting for people to come in. I looked out of place in the shop with its carved statuettes, ornaments, jewelry, clothing and even some beauty products. All the items in the store were remnants of a culture only my family seemed to have practiced, and like those items, the store itself was a remnant of my family.
The shop was left to me by my parents who were religious and hopeful. They had hope for Humans, hope for The City, hope for the future and hope for their children. I never met them, but they spoke about my grandparents a lot too. The grandparents came to The City when my parents were still young, too young to remember what was outside The City. The City wasn't yet the den of sparkling glass towers — the tallest building didn't even reach two hundred meters in height and you could see much more of the sky. There were photos on the wall behind the counter of my grandparents and my parents in front of the store. As of last month, I was twenty — the same age as my father in the photo of him and my mother — however I wasn't ready fot a picture despite inheriting the shop. I lacked a partner to smile with for the picture and the parents to take our photo. All I had left was this shop and the statuettes of gods that didn't respond to my prayers.
I fingered one of the carved wooden statuettes of Ndiya and smiled wistfully. I supposed a part of me did fit into the shop. Every day I prayed to the relics of that culture my family brought here. I was just waiting, like the statuette. I wasn't completely hopeless.
***
Regulars at my shop were primarily young or old women. When my mother and sister were still alive, they'd braid hair in the back of the shop. I figured I could hire some girls and start that back up eventually.
The bell at the entrance rang and in came one of the shop's regulars.
"Hey man," she said, making a beeline to the aisle with hair products.
"Hey, Deja," I responded.
Deja was someone I knew before I inherited the shop, an upperclassman a year ahead of me who I coincidentally got to know outside of high school. Like me, Deja and her brightly colored braids fit The city's neon lights, but she came to my cozy little shop because she preferred the handmade products sold here. Or maybe it was because we were friends
She wasn't a very close friend though.
"I was wondering," Deja dropped items on the counter, "You ever gonna come back to Vecherinka?"
Vecherinka was the heart of The City's nightlife, the go-to spot for partygoers, drunks and dumb kids. I used to visit often, before my family's death.
"Uh... I'm not sure. Why? Do you miss me?" I joked.
Deja pouted as I grinned at her.
"It's just different after… well you know. But a few of us are going out again. And it's dull without you," she said with a sigh.
I guess it'd been a bit dull for me too.
"Well… maybe. I've been a bit busy."
Not really.
I bagged her items and gave her the total.
"Well, I guess I do just miss you a bit. And the others have been asking me about you," Deja added as she looked through her purse.
I thought about it as she paid. I really wasn't busy.And i wasn't going through bouts of depression in bed anymore. At least not often.
"I'm free next weekend," I mumbled, tapping my finger on the wooden counter.
"For real?" Deja immediately lit up. "We're going to this place — Kandelika. It's new, really cool, you'll see!"
"Alright, just text me,"
"Yup! Bye-bye!"
The bell rang. The shop was empty again.
I looked at the rack of keychains to the side of the counter and realized only one keychain remained. I reached under the counter and grabbed my tools to start making more.
***
Vecherinka was the kind of place you'd expect crime to happen; there were always shifty figures slinking about, watching the boisterous visitors of The City's party district. Surprisingly enough, you were safe as long as you kept within Vecherinka's borders marked by red street lamps. However, leaving Vecherinka was another story. Someone could just follow you outside Vecherinka's drawn lines and the mysterious enforcers who kept the peace would do nothing to intervene if something happened. Whoever was in charge of Vecherinka was probably responsible for keeping it… somewhat safe. Although I'm sure there was shit going on that no one saw – and you were only safe from being murdered. People kept coming, even with all the rumors and the dubious safety of the area. It was the best place to party in The City after all.
My phone lit up with a message from a group chat Deja had taken the liberty of adding me to. I was met with kind greetings upon being added, lots of "how's it going?" and so on. No one asked what I'd been up to. Everyone knew of what happened a year ago.
The last time I'd been to Vecherinka it was after sneaking out of home. My parents had planned for our family to visit my grandparents' graves in the morning and wanted me up early. Despite my father's words echoing in the back of my mind, I went against them anyway.
Before I'd gone, I'd been frightened by my younger sister, Kiraka, who was also breaking the rules. Her small, round face was illuminated from below by the light of her tablet as she made herself known.
"Where are you going?" she'd asked.
I almost screamed.
"Out," I said quickly.
"Alright. I can't help you if you can't wake up in the morning. Be careful out there."
"Got it."
The sky was clear when I stepped out of the apartment and the moon was high in the sky. It was two hours before midnight. I had all the time in the world to have fun. And fun I had.
My friends that night were the same ones I planned to see again: Deja, Leilah, Tamia and a four-horned MMonster named Kalm.
"This is early for you," Tamia said as I stood up from our table.
"I've got plans in the morning," I explained.
"It's the weekend. You one of those temple goers? Never knew," Kalm grinned as he put his hands in prayer and bowed his head to me.
"As if. Just a death anniversary," I waved my hand nonchalantly.
"Oh okay. Well, bye," Kalm said.
The rest of the group bid me farewell and I took a cab home. Getting off a block before home, I carefully snuck back into the apartment. I grinned seeing the tablet on the living room couch and quietly made my way to my room and fell back into bed. From there I quickly… fell… aslee-
"KODEKO!"
The booming voice of my father pulled me from my dreamless slumber.
Despite my heart flying out of my chest, my body wasn't as quick to rise. My head hurt and I felt sluggish. I squinted at the ceiling light and sat up to see my father looming over me and Kiraka peeking at me from my open door.
"I tried to wake you," her lips read.
"You know what today is, right?" my father said sternly.
My father's blue eyes tended to move slightly when he was angry at me, like he was switching focus between my left and right eyes. I wondered if he saw the same when I stared back at him. Today his gaze was a little too strong to contest, so I lowered my eyes and rubbed my face.
"Grandpa's death anniversary," I muttered into my hand.
"And you're not up yet. And you're hungover," my father added.
"I can get ready, just give me a sec."
"Don't bother. Kiraka already tried to wake you a while ago. I'm really disappointed in you, Kodeko. Make sure you make yourself more presentable before you apologize to your mother."
Kiraka made way for our father then ran after him after sparing me a sympathetic glance. I groaned, getting up from my bed and trudging to the bathroom to splash water on my face. By the time I walked out, Kiraka and my father had left and my mother was waiting by the door. Her expression was disappointed but without the anger my father had on his face.
"You know, your father is just tired of repeating himself," my mother murmured as she took my hands. "I know you know better."
My mother pulled me closer to her and looked up at me, but I didn't meet her gaze.
"Sorry, Ma," I mumbled.
I did feel bad.
"Alright. Just get ready and follow after us once you're ready, okay?"
"Okay, I'll meet you there."
My mother got on her tiptoes to give me a kiss and I lowered my head so she could reach my cheek easily.
"You grew taller but you do need to grow up," my mother lightheartedly quipped.
I nodded, humming in half-hearted acknowledgement. With that, my mother went to join my father and sister. I sighed and went to get ready.
***
"What the hell is with these fucking trains?!" A man complained aloud.
The subway was a cacophony of the music he was playing, his disgruntled shouting and the murmur of all the other commuters questioning the subway's especially awful service that day.
I looked down at my phone. The train had stopped three stops before my destination. While each of my family members had read my message announcing I'd left home, no one had read my message about the shitty subway service for the past ten minutes.
"Bro, turn that shit off, I can't hear shit," said a short man to the loud passenger.
"Man, fuck you," the music player responded.
I shook my head and tried to listen to the warbling message over the intercom.
"Ladies and gentlemen, I repeat, this is the last stop. Due to police investigation, all train service is suspended going north towards…" the low quality audio sounded over the speakers.
I sighed and texted that I'd be a while longer as I followed the rest of the grumbling commuters out. I made my way up the stairs and looked for a bus stop, but it seemed that the bus stops were also full of people who'd been waiting for a while.
"The hell's up with the CTA today?" I grumbled.
There seemed to be a lot of traffic as well. I sighed and began to walk north until I came across a bike rental. It was better than nothing.
As I got closer to the park that held the cemetery my family was in, it became clear something wasn't right. Dark smoke billowed in the distance and traffic cleared a bit but it was emptier than it should've been, and fireworks lighting up in the distance made it hard to tell if I was also hearing gunshots. People on foot were walking and running away from where I was going, and the presence of police increased.
"Hey!" I called out to a woman as I neared her. "What's happening around Mramor?"
Startled , she came to an abrupt stop.
"There's a police blockade. There's a riot," she answered before briskly walking away.
I paused, looking off to the smoke. I called my father, mother and sister.
"Why won't they pick up?" I muttered.
My heart felt light, as if it wasn't there, and my stomach felt as if it'd turned over. I biked closer until I saw the blockade. The park was in view and so was the chaos on the other side. Another group of people hovered nearby as if trying to see what was happening.
"It's the Monsters," said a sharply dressed man beside me. "A whole buncha them walking up and down chanting about 'we are superior to Humans.' Someone musta spoke up and it got violent fast. They were looking for an excuse to start attacking people – I tell ya."
"They're attacking people?" I said in disbelief.
"Sure as day. A woman with a gash on 'er head told me. Figured those freaks'd eventually pull a stunt like this."
Any other attempts at getting information proved to be futile. Wary of the riot gear and guns in the officers' hands, I refrained from speaking to them. A few people were also trying to meet others on the other side. We stayed the longest. After a while, we all somehow convinced each other to leave and hope for good news. The sinking feeling in my stomach didn't leave, even as I arrived home. The sun had risen higher into the sky by the time I got home. By the time the sun had gone down, I was called to identify the bodies of my family.
***
There were a few months where I did nothing, getting by on whatever was left behind as a result of the untimely passing of my family. "Whatever" was no small amount, but I didn't care about that. My family was gone, and our home was just how they'd left it. I wished I could stay in bed and wait for my turn to come.
The City was reeling after that day, but I could hardly care about what was going on outside. For me, time had stopped. It took me three months to finally step into my parents' and Kiraka's rooms. I reminisced, then went down to the shop. Looking at the statuettes I'd helped my father make, and the pictures on the wall, I finally cried. The next day, I reopened the shop.
I began to move again. I carved the most statuettes I ever carved in my life in just a week. The regular customers stopped by, buying items and bringing me homemade food, tellin gme I'd be fine as they offered their condolences.
I hadn't set foot in Vecherinka since that day. I never really spoke about it either. There was my guilt at not being with my family, and the anger I felt knowing I wouldn't even have been able to do a thing, even if I was with them. I kept to myself, when I reopened the shop. All I did was work, carve statuettes, train and pray. Comparing myself now to me from a year ago made me laugh bitterly. My parents would've loved the Kodeko of now. But they'd probably want me to be happier than I was right now.
I was trying to socialize now, which was a nice step forward. The day I'd see my old friends came, and I dressed in the bright clothing I always used to. It felt alien to look at myself in these clothes after a year.
As I left my apartment, I muttered a short prayer — to Chika, the God of the Moon. The sky was clear as I stepped out, and the moon was high in the sky. I made my way to the slaughter.