After leaving that bed (womb), and being violated by someone—probably the midwife—and wrapped in a towel, Menma thought he could finally rest. He was a newborn after all, and like all of them, he couldn't see clearly, had trouble distinguishing sounds, and worst of all, his nervous system was completely messed up.
It was then that he truly understood what it meant when people said, "Every human brain and body has a different operating system." He'd always been curious about that line. And now—TA-DA! He got his answer. He wanted to move his tongue upward, but it moved downward instead. When he tried to raise his hand, it veered left, and when he attempted to move both arms together... it turned into some kind of tiara dance. He was completely confused.
But not long after trying all that, everything changed.
There was a loud, complicated noise—maybe shouting?—and then suddenly, he was up in the air! He landed in safe hands, thankfully.
I beg you, please be careful! I'm a newborn! Even if I weren't—do you know what happens when you throw a three-year-old high and don't catch them?! It was terrifying!
But what came next was even weirder.
Someone else grabbed him and then—suddenly—it felt like he was tossed into a washing machine full of curtains, spun around, and squeezed out.
WHAT?! Someone explain to me what in the Nine Heavens and Earth you are doing with me??
For goodness' sake...
Then he was placed on a soft surface—maybe a bed? But next to him was another object making a ton of noise. Like an old, broken alarm clock. He wanted to shut it off. After fumbling for a while, he managed to awkwardly stretch his hand toward the source of the noise—only to have his hand caught.
Stunned, he paused.
Then it hit him—he was no longer in his old world. He wasn't an adult anymore. That "alarm" had to be another baby. Probably his sibling.
Silenced by his own realization, he stared at the light above. Not like he could do much else. Luckily, the other kid stopped crying after grabbing his hand, giving him the peace he desperately needed.
As Menma was contemplating the three philosophical questions of life—who am I, where am I, and where the hell am I going—he felt another presence laid beside him.
He didn't know how he knew it, but he was sure: this was the source of his life. His mother.
He tried to free his hand from his sibling's grip and reach for her, but the kid on the other side had latched on tight. Wouldn't let go for dear life.
Come on!! Chill, dude—it's just another hand! Let go of me and grab a blanket or something!
But no. No letting go.
Feeling defeated, Menma gave up. Instead, he focused on sensing his parents in this life.
He had tried earlier, but he couldn't remember anyone from his previous life—not friends, not parents, not lovers... Well, he wasn't even sure if he had lovers. Either way, there was no one. So, all the love he once had now belonged to these people. His new family.
He wasn't too sad about it. Honestly, it was better this way. It meant he wouldn't miss people he could never see again.
His mother felt... weak. He didn't know how, but he could tell. She was tired, hurting. But there was a brightness inside her. A warmth. And something else.
That spicy thing. The one he missed already.
As he smacked his lips with longing, she slowly began to release it. Even though his eyes couldn't see clearly, he knew—it was all over her skin.
He wanted it badly.
He barely managed to free his hand and reached out with his tiny hand and grabbed her somewhere. As soon as he made contact, he called out for it in desperation—and it came, flowing into him, feeding him just as he wanted. Relieved and content, he drifted into a half-sleep, half-awake state... until—
WOOSH. He was suddenly grabbed and spun through that damn washing machine again.
Then came something worse.
A vibration, so intense it shook him to his newborn core. Worse than anything he had experienced in the womb.
Startled, like any normal infant, he started crying.
He didn't know what had happened, but his body demanded an emotional outlet. He couldn't control it. It was like an adrenaline rush—cry or explode. Luckily, his mother hugged him close, soothing him quickly.
After calming down, he tried to sense again.
And then he saw it.
No, "saw" is wrong. He felt it—a HUGE, spicy mush of whatever that thing was, nearby.
He cried again—this time from excitement. He wanted it. All of it. He'd hoard it for himself.
Well... maybe he'd share a little with his mother. She had the same scent in her body. Maybe she loved it too.
Okay. It's settled. I'll get a big bite, then share it with Mom. No one else.
Come here, baby. Let's have a long talk—just the two of us.
Kurama, sensing the child's hunger and pure desire: "... Damn you kid..."
But reality is cruel.
Instead of receiving his spicy treasure, he was taken away from his mother and plopped down on a hard surface.
Are we in a pediatric clinic? Is this the checkup table? Wait—why is it outdoors?! And why haven't I gotten my vaccines yet?!
Terrible service. I'm leaving a one-star review. Also, I am NEVER bringing my future wife here for childbirth. Hmph.
Lying on the hard surface, Menma pondered the ways of the world while drooling about that spicy chunk.
Then someone approached.
He didn't care at first, but then—their aura changed. It was terrifying.
What kind of pediatrician has this kind of aura?! Are you about to circumcise me?! That's supposed to happen at one month, minimum!
Wait—is this a pre-modern timeline?! That would explain doing it outdoors... but still!
Hey wait! Wait!!! Worse—am I even a boy?! Do I still have my... little guy?
OH NO. What if I'm a hybrid?! Is this doctor about to do something immoral?! Am I gonna get monthly cycles in future?! I don't want that kind of maintenance plan!
But the scary pediatrician didn't do any of that.
Instead, he reached out and grabbed the red spicy thing Menma had been drooling over.
Somehow... he split it in two.
Wait... how did he reach that far? His hands are terrifying. I don't trust this man.
Then, unexpectedly, the man shoved half the spicy ball into Menma's stomach.
At first, Menma panicked. The heat, the sudden rush, the burning—
But then... it slowed.
The pain eased. The chakra was feeding into him bit by bit—like being spoon-fed a lifetime supply of gourmet food.
YES. Best pediatrician EVER.
He tried to smile at the scary man.
Well, he tried.
He had no idea what his face looked like, but it probably wasn't sweet.
With warmth in his stomach and spicy goodness in his body, he felt drowsy.
His head was fuzzy. His limbs were heavy.
But before he drifted off fully, he sensed his mother nearby. Her body was distant, but there.
He also sensed his sibling. Still clutching a trampoline—or, wait, no. A toad?
Whatever. He didn't care.
Satisfied, Menma finally slipped into sleep, dreaming of snuggling with his mother, and sharing big spicy meatballs under the stars.
Yay. So yummy.
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