It had been another two months since Menma last saw Granny Biwako. He missed her a little, but to his disappointment, she hadn't even appeared within his sensing range even once!
That day, after she left, he fell ill for a while. High fever, nightmares about his death and dreams about his body being left in a dark corner of street like a stray cat's carcass, unclaimed and unnoticed.
Finally, after a week of struggling, with the warmth of the energy inside his tummy, he pieced himself back together once more. Even though, his energy level stayed low for another two weeks.
After granny Biwako, he has three caretakers. Nurses in all-black uniforms with creepy and expressionless animal masks.
He wasn't sure about other two but one of them was a young boy while his aura felt oddly familiar, though Menma couldn't remember where he'd sensed it before.
The other two were tall, stone-bodied women. Their skin was so dry and thick that, Menma believe, girls from his previous life would cling to theminstead of boys... But no guy in their right mind would approach them. Whenever they held him, he'd feel a mix of pity for them and discomfort for himself. They were however, professionals.
The nurses worked in rotating 8-hour shifts, always on standby. Day or night, awake or asleep, they were there, silent and unmoving, watching over him.
The women never spoke a word like a trained bodyguards. No emotions came from them, no anger, annoyance, joy, or kindness. Their minds, like their bodies, were made of stone.
One of Menma's daily hobbies had become trying to spark any emotion from their inside, some kind of buried feeling, no matter how faint, but there wasn't any sign of success. And that was while his emotional sensing range and depth had increased a lot.
The young boy, though, was the opposite. A whirlwind of emotion, messy and loud. Whenever he was around, Menma had to consciously try to limit his emotional sensing just to stay sane and safe, or else a headache was coming for him.
This chaos forced him to learn how to control his abilities somehow, to open and close his senses at will. Since the two stone statues never talked, all of Menma's "speech training" landed on this poor boy's shoulders, turning his emotional mixer on and make the poor boy's mind even more chaotic.
The boy of course tried to resist by ignoring him or running away, but eventually, he learned Menma's true rule.
"If you respond to my baby sounds, I'll leave you alone. If not, I'll keep babbling nonsense forever or make you cry!"
That discovery made them reach a peaceful understanding and coexisting. A lovely friendship where Menma would make a sound and the boy would talk a full standard sentence.
Menma, indeed, was a peace-loving citizen and a cute child, specialized in helping depressed people.
Last month, the boy even brought a book with him. Judging from the cover, Menma instantly pegged it as unhealthy content though. Naturally, he pestered the boy until he finally let him see how it was written.
Then he became depressed as he saw how the words were written.
If you asked Menma what writing system gave him the worst headache in his past life, he'd say Japanese. Forget the drawings that look like chicken scratches, it's the fact that there are multiple writing systems. And to read anything remotely advanced, you had to understand at least two. Now, looking at the neatly printed symbols on the page, Menma cried with Actual tears!
The nurse, clueless about the reason for the crying, spent quite some time, trying to calm him down. Finally, he managed to calm him by bribing Menma with agreeing to read a book aloud. Of course, he would not read that book. Unless he wanted his skin to be cut short by the child's mother in his dreams! He began after finding a simple children book and hugging Menma, he begen to read a loud while Menma pointed at the words that were being read. Learning both the order of reading and the pronunciation of the words.
After that day, it was the boy who cried, silently.
"Well, a good cry once in a while clears the eyes. You're welcome..."
Menma thought to himself with a little guilt...
Eventually, as things kept going on, Menma concluded that the literal and religion structure of this world was weird. They believed in afterlife, but they had two different afterlife? The stories were also a lot old fashion while there was some modern stuff mixed in? It was really a weird system.
The following night, Menma refused to let go of the books the boy would bring him each day, even after the nurse's shift ended.
Of course the following days, the poor boy, desperate to save his precious reading time and to keep his sexy voice intact, would bring several children's picture books with less words, which would earn him more truble as he would have to explain pictures by himself, instead of just reading a plain word. He even had to help Menma in coloring the books with some crayons.
Those moments made Menma very happy though, as the boy was slowly filling the empty spots in his heart. And he believed that the boy was also understanding that as he would endure and move along all of his trouble makings. He would giggled the whole day whenever the boy was around.
He even caught a tiny trace of happiness from the stone nurses, as the atmosphere would brighten up by their laughtera. Their skin metaphorically cracked a little, and that made him even happier.
As time passed, his senses became sharper and broader. Eventually, he started picking up residual auras on the three nurses, auras left from their interacts and movements outside of his room, from hours before. At first, they were smells of shampoo, food, people but eventually, a familiar smell began to surface. When he noticed it he was immediately sure from where that smell was coming, a weak but consistent smell of tobacco, clinging faintly to their uniforms, belonging to none other then an old uncle.
At first, he wasn't sure what ever it was a coincidence or not. But as the scent persisted day after day, he became certain.
It was that old, smoking uncle's evil presence.
His aura on them was too dense to be a coincidence. That meant he was probably the one who made him love alone.
That day, Menma wrote it down in his mental revenge journal.
Target: Old Man Hokage.
Mission: Payback.
To prepare for that day, Menma put aside his study plans and began training. He'd already mastered crawling and since he tended to get dirty, the nurses, especially the women, would keep the floor spotless. The boy nurse was usually too drained to clean after Menma's bedtime.
Now, Menma wanted to stand so he could do his revenge when the time comes but...
But as with all beautiful ideas, reality was cruel.
Every time he tried standing up, holding onto furniture or corners, he'd fall on his chubby bottom. He tested many methods, but none worked. Well... none other then the poor boy. He kept failing until he tried climbing to the boy as a human ladder in a fit of frustration.
And it worked!
Menma, who couldn't stand on flat ground, stood upright by clinging to the poor nurse like a monkey. From that day, a new duty was added to the male nurse's shift, " Special Human Ladder"
Menma could sense the boy's inner emotions, and lately one feeling was dominating the rest. Helplessness!
Knowing that the boy was nearing his limits, Menma tried to comfort him in his baby monologue.
" My dear man, I have helped you from pain of confusion and now, you have to bow for me and be a slave for generations! Ahem… you're welcome. I've rescued you from confusion any life and the pain of loneliness. So now, please bow and let me climb!"
A certain white-haired boy, watching a baby not even six months old babble proudly while grabbing at him:
"Teacher… you left me and this world too soon…! Way too soon…!"
...
Today marked six months since the Nine Tails incident. After months of nonstop political fires, rebuilding, and sleepless nights, Hiruzen Sarutobi finally had a moment to rest.
Feeling like taking a walk through the recovering village, he grabbed his Hokage hat, called for an ANBU escort, and took a few files to review while touring the village.
His new advisor, Shikaku Nara, followed him closely, reporting in with his usual sleepy but precise tone.
"Lord Hokage, Jiraiya-sama sent word. The border is calm, his mission is complete, and he's returning to be a writer… and something about a flood of fan letters for Make-Out Heaven. Apparently, it's been a bestseller."
Sarutobi nodded with an exhausted smile as he himself was a fan of those books. Of course, he had hidden this hobby from his wife.
"As expected of him."
Shikaku continued. "Tsunade-sama left a note in her tent. She's already gone with her disciple. She said she was bored, and not to worry about the Cloud Village."
"No explanation?"
"Nope. Just her usual 'Don't worry.'"
Sarutobi sighed. "Understood. Begin rotating border squads. Let those stationed longest come home to their families."
After the funeral of Minato and Kushina, Jiraiya and Tsunade had rushed back, but they were too late. Not even a glimpse of comatose Kushina.
Perhaps, Sarutobi thought bitterly, he had made a mistake in the pressure of the moment. But spilled water doesn't return to the bowl.
He had made his choices.
"And how is reconstruction?" Sarutobi asked as they crossed the market square.
"Most of the foundation is done. Houses are going up every day. At this rate, by next month, everyone will be back in their homes."
"Good work, Shikaku. Torifu was right to choose you."
Shikaku, now worn down from five straight months of paperwork and budgeting, looked more like a hostage than a government official.
"I miss raising deer in our own land."
"Well, your father gets to do that now. Once your son is ready, you can too! Hahah!"
Realizing that meant two full decades of this tiresome job, Shikaku nearly broke into tears.
Sarutobi chuckled and changed the subject. "What about the Uchiha Clan?"
Shikaku snapped out of his grief long enough to reply.
"They initially resisted relocation but agreed after negotiations, money, mission privileges, ANBU positions not under Danzō. They're settling into the new district."
"And the police force?"
"They had heavy casualties. To keep it running, they accepted non-clan members. Surprisingly, they kept most of them on. Seems they're trying to soften their image while freeing up clan members for missions outside the village. It's smart, assuming no hidden agenda."
Sarutobi stroked his beard. That explained Danzō's growing paranoia.
"Keep a close eye. Watch the civilians who joined and any Uchiha who stepped back. Make sure no one's being used by those people in the shadow as game pieces."
Shikaku noted it down. They wrapped up the briefing as the sun dipped low. Sarutobi remembered that his wife had been serving him a lot of tasteless bland food, her silent being a protest for not visiting Menma in these months.
Not wanting to suffer dry tofu again, he decided to drop by and take a look. After all he had promised to let her see him once a week. But first, he should send this advisor after a black silk.
"If I recall, your son turns seven months today, doesn't he?" Sarutobi said.
"Yes."
"Then go home early. Buy a gift. Make your wife smile. Trust me, it's worth more than any mission."
Shikaku didn't argue. He bowed and practically sprinted away, already imagining the horrors waiting at home, while understanding the hokage's intentions.
Sarutobi, now alone, walked for a while until he reached Menma's resident. Standing there he made a few quick hand signs. An ANBU emerged from the shadows.
"Status?"
"Everything is okay. No disturbances or spies detected."
"Good. Return to post."
The ANBU vanished. Sarutobi walked to the door of Menma's house.
Inside, he heard Kakashi sounding unusually concerned.
"What's wrong, little Menma? Are you hurt?"
Earlier, Menma had been walking with Kakashi, yes, walking, as in walking on two legs. But suddenly, he froze, looked toward the wall, and bolted for the bathroom.
Before Kakashi could react, Menma closed the door behind him.
Panicking, Kakashi called out, unsure if something had happened. He remembered what happened two months ago, when Menma saw master Jiraiya's "Make-Out Paradise" book and cried his soul out.
Then there was last month, when Menma started climbing furniture, then decided to climb him, turning him into a permanent stepladder.
This time, the bathroom door was shut, and Menma wasn't answering. He might've been hurt or was planning to do an evil act again. Kakashi called out again. After a few tense seconds, the door creaked open.
Kakashi sighed in relief and squatted down to check him. "Thank goodness, you're okay."
He tapped Menma's nose, normally something Menma hated and he would use it as a little punishment, but this time, Menma smiled.
A big, suspicious smile.
A very familiar one.
It was her smile, Kushina's mischievous grin, the one she wore when she set traps and sat back to watch the chaos unfold.
Kakashi froze.
Before he could investigate further, the front door opened behind him. Alarmed, he grabbed Menma and took a step back, alarted as he hadn't been notified for any visitors.
But seeing it was Lord Third he lowered his gaurds.
Kakashi sighed, relieved but still a little suspicious. So he tried to test it a little.
"Lord Third… what brings you here?"
Sarutobi smiled, eyes already scanning the room. "Just checking in on our little fox."
As Kakashi bowed and fumbled a polite excuse, Menma suddenly chirped.
"Ahhh, gagba, gangba!"
His arms stretched out toward Sarutobi like he wanted to be picked up.
Sarutobi blinked, surprised, then beamed.
"So you missed Grandpa, didn't you?"
He bowed and picked Menma up and sat on a chair, while hugging Menma and bouncing him playfully.
"You little rascal, should I tickle you?"
Kakashi's eyes widened.
Oh no.
He knew two things Menma hated the most and would cry a laud if anyone were to do it:
Random belly poking, and Being tickled. Basically anything that has to do with his belly.
And now he was getting both.
Kakashi backed away, sweating. Afraid to be used as a reason for the trouble.
But sometimes completely different from what he expected happened. Menma laughed softly and cutely completely unlike normal him. That scared Kakashi. Something was definitely wrong.
He remembered Menma's actions from earlier and moved to the only place he had lost sight of Menma for a while. He opened the bathroom door slowly, checking to see what is going on.
At first glance, nothing looked wrong… until he saw a familiar cloth bundle in the corner.
He bent down and picked it up.
It was Menma's diaper.
He froze.
No…
He replayed the timeline in his head, Menma's dash to the bathroom, the suspicious smile, and the moment he leapt into Sarutobi's arms.
Then came the shout:
"Kakashi! Why is he not wearing a diaper!?"
Kakashi turned and pocked his head out of bathroom's doorframe.
Lord Third's robes were soaked in a very obvious golden circle while something was dripping from Menma's pants. Obviously, someone needed to be cleaned...
Kakashi felt his soul leave his body.
He swore silently to never, ever, offend this child again, as his spine was too thin to bear such heavy grudge!
Meanwhile, Menma, victorious and smug, leaned back in Sarutobi's arms, twisting his butt as he did, completely satisfied.
Revenge: successful.
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