The first warning came when the castle canal turned black, not with ink or poison but with something far worse.
A living shadow.
Smelling the air, Whiskerton's fur stood on end.
"Ocean brine," he muttered. "And old magic."
In the arms of her nursemaid, Evangeline chattered excitedly while gesturing to the horizon, where strange waves danced. Her prophecy mark thumped in time with the distant thunder of war drums.
The ships emerged from the mist like nightmares given form, sails sewn from a leviathan hide, hulls carved from drowned ships, and at the lead vessel's prow...
Captain Lyssa.
A woman with storm-gray eyes and a scar across her cheek, her cutlass already drawn. Behind her, the deck swarmed with her crew, mercenaries, outcasts, and sea witches, all bearing Selphina's sigil on their wrists.
"Evernight Castle!" Lyssa's voice cut across the water. "You took our queen. Now you'll learn why the sea does not forgive."
The Duke, mid-sip of his tea, choked. "We did WHAT?"
Cedric sprinted onto the battlements, still in his dressing gown.
"There's been a misunderstanding! We don't have Selphina!"
Lyssa mocked.
"Lies. The Black Broth Brotherhood swore they saw her dragged into your dungeons!"
Seraphina, who had been sharpening her cutlass, went very still. She thought she already eliminated the remaining members of the Black Broth Brotherhood.
"...Oh no."
Before the first cannon could fire, a new voice cut through the chaos, smooth as tide-worn glass, sharp as a shark's grin.
"Stand down, Lyssa."
Every head turned.
There, standing atop the castle's highest tower, was Selphina herself alive, unharmed, and looking deeply unimpressed.
Her crew gasped.
"Captain?!"
Selphina sighed. "You idiots. I wasn't captured. I was visiting."
Seraphina was shocked but understood her sister's attitude. She did not tell her subordinates about her plan to take revenge on her.
A beat of silence.
Then, slower, as if speaking to particularly dense children.
"Because this is my sister's castle."
Seraphina waved awkwardly.
Lyssa's face went slack. "...Sister? The other Pirate Queen?"
Selphina leaped down, landing lightly on the battlements. "The Brotherhood lied to you. They wanted you to attack Evernight, to weaken both our forces before their uprising."
Lyssa paled. "Oh."
The Duchess snapped her fan shut.
"Oh indeed."
Whiskerton's tail lashed.
"So. Are we still having a naval battle, or...?"
Selphina smirked. "Oh, I think we can arrange something better."
Meanwhile, Evangeline giggled as her pacifier glowed, showing two paths.
1. The Spoon of Sweetness – Forgive the misunderstanding.
2. The Blackened Ladle – Punish the liars.
Selphina pulled out the ladle from the air before Evangeline could grab it.
"Ah-ah, little niece. This one's mine."
The sea behind her roared in agreement.
As the castle prepared for retaliation, another crisis unfolded in Dante's chambers.
The single noodle strand had multiplied overnight.
Dante stared in horror at the mirror where seventeen rebellious locks danced in perfect formation, spelling out.
"WE WANT A UNION."
Lucien peered over his shoulder, fascinated.
"Fascinating. They've developed collective bargaining."
"Help me," Dante whispered as the noodles began braiding themselves into protest signs.
Cedric inspected Sir Loin's new armor, forged from the castle's best soup.
"Remember," he told the wobbling meatball knight. "No matter how terrifying they look, they're still just—"
A tentacle the size of a carriage house slammed into the courtyard.
"—very large seafood," Cedric finished weakly.
Theo's armored brigade clanked into formation, though several suits kept glancing nervously at the ocean. Sir Clanksalot raised his spoon-sword with forced bravado.
"Men! Today we fight for—urk!"
A flying fish smacked into his helmet.
Selphina cracked her knuckles, grinning at Lyssa.
"Ready to show the Brotherhood why you don't meddle with our family?"
Lyssa grinned back.
"With pleasure."
And as the sea itself rose to answer its queen's call, Evangeline clapped her hands choosing chaos, as usual.