The sun was already high when we finished getting dressed. I could still feel the skin on my face burning hot, my hands were still shaking. Toge was beside me, his lashes lowered, his face serene, at peace. In silence, once we were dressed, our hands intertwined again. He held mine, without even opening his eyes, a small smile playing on his lips.
There was no need to say anything. We had told each other everything.
When we left that place that now smelled of our union—hidden among the hills, amid moss and warm stones—we did so hand in hand. Our steps were slow, but full. As if every glance, every small gesture between us in that moment carried a deeper meaning.
We arrived at the institute shortly after, our friends saw us from afar. Panda was the first to notice us, and he understood immediately.
<
Maki elbowed him, while Yuta tried to hide an embarrassed smile. I blushed and looked down, biting my lower lip, flashing a shy smile. Toge, in response, raised our intertwined hands in front of everyone. As if to say, "Yes, we're here."
We arrived at the insitute, tired and hungry. Toge occasionally touched my arm, then moved to my hips. He texted on his phone, while I was chatting with the others:
"I want to dream that I kiss you again..."
I smiled and replied.
<
Shortly afterward, Toge's stepsister, Saya, immediately intercepted me in the corridor with a dazzling smile.
<
<
She took my arm, pulling me away from Toge, and dragged me away with a calm, curious pace.
Saya looked at him, then at me. She gave a mischievous giggle.
<
Before turning the corner, I turned around, still holding Saya's hand. I searched for Toge's eyes. I found them.
<
-----tea room, late afternoon...---
Saya had organized everything impeccably. Hand-decorated ceramic mugs,
the scent of dried flowers and sweet incense, pillows scattered in a circle, rice cakes and azuki bean jam. A relaxing, warm, ancient atmosphere.
<< Good! Official welcoming ritual. Everyone has to say something nice about Rebecca and... something funny they noticed about her.>>
Toge was the first to raise his notebook.
"She came in like lightning. And she stayed like the morning sun. She shines and warms."
-<< Ugh... you're a hidden poet!>>, Maki exclaimed, while I blushed all over.
-<< Funny thing...mmm...>> Yuta said thoughtfully. <
Everyone laughed. I laughed too, although I covered my face with my hands.
Toge wrote another sentence, and had me read it only to myself.
"I haven't looked at the world the same way since I saw you walk through mine."
I took his hand from under the table. Tight, silent, happy.
Saya, on the other hand, as the sky filled with stars above the institute courtyard, concluded the ceremony with a sentence that seemed to come from another era:
<
Everyone was silent for a second.
She continued pouring the tea, explaining the ritual to everyone.
<
I looked at her with a shocked and touched expression. She'd used that...word. Family.
It was then that Panda, sitting with his paws next to Toge, leaned toward Saya and whispered in a tone far too loud to be discreet:
<
Muffled laughter rose from the others. Saya smiled with her eyes, and Toge also lower his head. I blushed, pouting.
<
Panda nodded solemnly.
<
<
Toge gave a thumbs-up, then with a gesture wrote on the notes app:
"Spicy tuna = soul bond."
The ceremony continued, but with a much more relaxed air. I knew I'd joined something important. A group that maybe... really cared about me.
And in the midst of all this, I glanced at Toge.
He was looking at me.
------hand in hand, heart in turmoil..---
Night had fallen softly over Kyoto, and after a busy day, the institute's corridor was immersed in a muffled silence. I was about to go under the covers when I heard two light, almost timid knocks on the door.
I opened it. Toge was there, with his usual sweet, reserved look, that telephone in his fingers.
"May I?" he wrote, looking up at me hesitantly. His eyes were tired, but lit with an intensity that spoke louder than the words he couldn't use.
I smiled, opening the door a little wider.
<
We slipped under the covers without hesitation, without saying anything, both exhausted, confused, but united by a bond that made us breathe in unison. Our hands instinctively reached out for each other. I intertwined my fingers with his, and we fell asleep immediately, our hearts too full to speak.
***
The next morning, I opened my eyes, the morning light filtering through the thin curtains. Toge was already awake, already washed and dressed, watching me silently, sitting on the edge of the bed. A slight melancholy crossed his face, his eyes dull and his gaze downcast. He wasn't writing in his telephone. He was just... watching.
"Toge?" I whispered, still groggy from sleep. He looked toward the window for a moment; the sky was gray and gloomy, but very bright. He took out his telephone, and wrote.
"Sorry. I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have slept here. I shouldn't have allowed myself to do anything with you."
I straightened up, almost abruptly. My voice was shaking, my heart was pounding.
<
He turned to me with an expression full of tenderness, but also resignation. He wrote slowly.
"There are curses that feed on my voice, my words. My energy. But they won't reach me, only the people closest to me. They will follow you, they will seek you out. They want to hurt you."
My heart felt like it was about to explode. My voice caught in my throat.
<>
He shook his head, then wrote.
"I can't be happy if you're at risk because of me. You're the most beautiful thing that's ever happened to me, and I have to protect you. I know you'll become even more vulnerable because of me. I'm sorry I didn't say it before... I'm sorry for everything. But I just wasn't thinking about it anymore."
A heavy silence filled the room. I stood up and looked him in the eyes.
<
He took my hand tightly. His eyes seemed to burn. He wrote with quick, almost angry strokes.
"I don't want to lose you."
<
He stood up slowly. He caressed my face, his thumb gently brushing my cheek. Then, he wrote the last words, in a shaky hand.
"I love you. But to truly love you... I must protect you. Even from myself."
And he left, closing the door behind him, leaving me alone. With the sheets still warm. With my heart colder than before.