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Translator: Vine
Chapter: 72
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This is hard.
My body feels heavy.
I want to give up.
I want to... just put down the spear in my hand.
These were the feelings that arose less than 30 minutes after I started sparring with Kali.
No, it was more like emotions welling up from deep within my heart.
No matter how much I burned with will and wanted to focus on training and sparring with her... it felt like my body was betraying my will.
A sensation of extreme fatigue, as if whispering in my ear to stop now.
"..."
Nevertheless, I bit my lip hard.
I had to steel myself against the desire to be lazy, the weakening of my resolve.
"Han Cheon-seong, student. Let's take a short break."
Kali, who had suddenly lowered her sword, showed me consideration, but I immediately shook my head.
Even through my blurry vision, I forced myself to regain my resolve.
"A little more... I can do it. Please continue the sparring."
Right now, the temptation to let go of my resolve and put down my spear, accepting her consideration, was powerfully gripping me.
But.
I thought I had to overcome this.
I couldn't be like this already.
If I gave in to kindness and goodwill and let my guard down, this resolve I had so painstakingly built would weaken in an instant.
I felt it instinctively.
Now, with the desire to give up, the desire to rest for a moment.
I needed to take one more step, no, two more steps forward. Only then could I truly advance.
"Are you really okay?"
"Yes. I'm... okay."
Answering with difficulty, I squeezed out a little mana that had accumulated and wrapped it around my spear.
—!
Watching a faint blue light coil around my spear shaft, I took a tiny breath.
Looking at Kali, who raised her sword again at my words, I pushed off the ground.
Erasing distracting thoughts, I forcibly injected only one idea into my mind.
'Thrust the spear.'
So I thrust. And advanced.
I forcibly urged my body, which was trying to betray my will.
Swoosh!
Then, the tip of the spear shot forward in a straight line.
Its speed was no faster than at the beginning. But I found meaning in the fact that I could still move forward.
Clang!
Intense sparks flew from the sword blade that skillfully met my spear tip.
And immediately, my spear tip was forcefully parried, but it didn't matter.
It was a thrust made with the expectation of being parried, so I immediately rotated my body as if using the rebound force.
And then, I thrust the spear even faster than before.
—!
Faster than a moment ago.
And I saw Kali swing her sword again at the speed of my spear.
Her hand still moved swiftly, and the sword, swung so effortlessly, held a surprisingly powerful force.
Clang!
The speed at which she parried my spear was faster than before.
———!!
Following the rebounding spear, it became even harder to dissipate the force, as if a great burden was placed on both my arms.
Even so, I forced myself to take a step.
Shlick!
Pivoting on my right foot, I rotated my body again, this time swinging the spear widely horizontally.
— —!
The spear, swung swiftly as if cleaving the air, aimed for her legs.
And at that moment, I saw Kali's hand descend like a flash of light.
A little.
Even if just a little, the path of her sword was starting to become visible to me.
I hadn't taken a step forward just yet.
It was merely... preparing to lift my foot from the ground to take a step.
A level too slight to even call a single step.
Nevertheless, I thought that alone held meaning.
'Because that's always how I've been.'
It seemed that only when I was this exhausted and my spirit was greatly weakened did I finally see the path.
So. I steeled my weakening resolve even more... strongly.
'Force yourself to meet it.'
Cla-aang!
I had to keep swinging and thrusting my spear, meeting her attacks.
At the end of endless clashes. If I could finally take a proper step forward... that would be the answer.
...
I didn't know how much longer I swung and thrust my spear, clashing with Kali's sword.
However, it was clear that it didn't last much longer.
Because the force with which Kali parried my spear grew stronger and stronger. There was no instance where my spear miraculously broke through her sword and reached her.
That was truly... a miracle. No, it was an impossible feat that couldn't happen.
Shlick.
The sensation of the cold water bottle in my hand left me feeling strangely numb.
There was truly no strength left in my body.
Both arms, which had held the spear, hung limply, trembling even from just holding this water bottle.
Even now, Kali had forcibly stopped the sparring, and I was resting like this.
Unconsciously, I found myself reflecting on my previous training.
'Was I still not enough to take a single step forward?'
As I let out a small breath, a wry laugh escaped me at that thought.
'Perhaps I'm being too greedy.'
Still, I want to keep growing. That desire surged endlessly within my heart. It was supporting my will even more strongly than the urge to give up and let go.
My growth to Attribute Level 4 during the last spar with Leonhardt... it was like a powerful awakening for me.
Because I could never forget the feeling of that moment.
That feeling of growing and moving forward...
"..."
With a burning thirst, I struggled to lift the water bottle. My hand kept trembling as I slowly raised it.
Shlick.
Then, as I unconsciously lost strength in my hand, I realized my mistake.
The water bottle clearly slipped from my weakened grip.
'Ah...'
Just as I numbly anticipated what would happen next.
Grab.
My gaze went blankly to the pristine white hand layered over mine.
Kali placed her hand over mine, giving strength to my hand that should have dropped the bottle, allowing me to grip it again.
"Thank... you."
"Thank you? Han Cheon-seong, student. Are you really that exhausted right now?"
At Kali's cautious question, I slowly shook my head.
Even nodding was difficult, but I didn't want to show her how tired I was. She was taking the time to spar with me right now.
I thought it would be rude to show her that I was struggling and exhausted, especially when she was being so considerate.
"I'm fine."
I said it with conviction, focusing on my hand as I slowly brought the water to my lips.
Following Kali's naturally released hand, I was finally able to drink the water.
Gulp, gulp. The water flowing down my throat was truly, indescribably delicious. The cold water seemed to reawaken my dazed mind, and in that moment of quenched thirst, drinking water felt almost addictive.
"Hoo..."
After nearly emptying the water bottle and setting it aside, a laugh involuntarily escaped me.
More delicious than any food was water drunk when feeling such intense thirst. It was so strange that a silly laugh escaped me. Just then, I felt an intense gaze.
"..."
As Kali blinked and looked at me, I instantly thought I had made a spectacle of myself.
"...I made a spectacle of myself."
"No, a spectacle? That's... not it."
Watching Kali immediately shake her head at my words, I thought.
'She's truly a kind person.'
That thought inadvertently crossed my mind.
Even after seeing me make a fool of myself like this, Kali smiled and told me it wasn't so. Beyond that, I felt her goodwill and kindness everywhere.
As long as I didn't do anything Kali disliked, she was truly this kind of person.
Upright, just, good... a woman who steadfastly upholds her values.
That's why, suddenly, it struck me as amusing that other students had looked at me with pity today for having to spend time with her.
'This is truly an immense privilege.'
Kali paying this much attention to me was something I should simply be grateful for.
Rather than training alone, thrusting my spear in the training ground, having Kali, an absolute powerhouse, here now allowed me to look further ahead and advance.
Being able to approach training with a clear objective was a great source of strength for me.
I could test my will, and at every moment, I could recognize the intensity of a warrior clashing with a spear.
And against her, who was among the strongest in the academy.
It was like a luxury that other students would find hard to experience, no matter how much they paid.
'Yes. So. Let's do better.'
With her extending such kindness, it was right for me to clearly consider actions Kali would appreciate and adapt to them.
I, too, should treat her with more kindness and express my gratitude.
Just as I inwardly resolved this and met Kali's gaze.
"..."
Kali suddenly averted my gaze.
While her reaction struck me as odd, I didn't think much of it.
'...Well, I suppose I do look a mess.'
My appearance must be truly disheveled from the continuous sparring, so perhaps it was burdensome for an instructor to look at a student like that.
I also withdrew my gaze and slowly opened my mouth.
"Then, Instructor. Please spar with me again."
"...Han Cheon-seong, student?"
"I feel like I've rested enough now."
Only a few minutes had passed, but I felt like I could grip the spear again.
If I could hold the spear, then I believed I could spar again.
When my body reached its limit. I wanted to push that body even further beyond its limit.
Now, an intense desire arose within me.
***
Cla-aang!
Intense sparks flew as the spear was powerfully parried away.
This time, the spear flew through the air without fail. That was a natural result, as I had intentionally put a lot of force into it to make it do so.
As I looked at student Han Cheon-seong,
Thud.
Only then did I see him collapse, his body swaying.
Even so, as he tried to somehow get up, I quickly moved towards him.
"Han Cheon-seong, student."
"...Yes."
Even though I had reached right in front of him, student Han Cheon-seong wasn't looking at me.
Even his reply held no strength.
Student Han Cheon-seong was now looking at the spear that had slipped from his hand.
As if he needed to grip the spear again.
As if he had to continue this sparring...
He was so admirable, and yet... I carefully placed my hand on student Han Cheon-seong's shoulder.
"Let's stop now."
"I can do more..."
"No. Trying to push that body any further would only be counterproductive now."
I spoke firmly, yet I couldn't continue the sparring. It was clearly too much, his limit.
But student Han Cheon-seong kept clashing his spear against mine, burning with will.
...It was as if he was constantly knocking on my heart, trying to show me why I had decided to favor him.
"..."
As student Han Cheon-seong dazedly turned his head to me and I met his gaze, my heart wavered for a moment.
Through his blurred eyes, an intense light seemed to shine.
He still hadn't given up. The desire to continue sparring.
'How could he...'
...be so strong-willed?
Any other student would have given up sparring with me long ago. And they would have done so soon after starting to spar with me.
I could be certain of that.
Because I had never gone easy on students during sparring.
In fact, the more we clashed, the more I tended to push student Han Cheon-seong harder.
Because I believed that would be more helpful to the student.
"..."
Suddenly, student Han Cheon-seong's eyes slowly closed, and I blinked unconsciously.
I quickly had to catch student Han Cheon-seong's falling body.
Shlick.
Though greatly surprised by his collapsing into my arms, I couldn't help but catch him.
"...Han Cheon-seong, student?"
I asked in a surprised voice, but there was no reply from him.
At the sight of student Han Cheon-seong's profile, leaning against my chest and breathing faintly...
My body seemed to freeze in place.