The last thing I remembered was a rogue banana peel and the surprisingly sturdy lamppost that followed. One minute I was jogging, minding my own business, probably humming some terribly off-key pop song, and the next… poof.
Lights out. Finito. Adios, cruel world, and my half-eaten pizza in the fridge.
Then, there was white. Not just white, but super white. The kind of white that makes your eyeballs feel like they've been bleached.
I squinted, blinked, then squinted some more. No walls, no floor, just… infinite, blinding alabaster. Was this the afterlife? Because if it was, they really skimped on the decor. And where was my pizza?
A voice, smooth as silk and somehow resonating from everywhere and nowhere at once, rippled through the pure emptiness. "Welcome, Soul Unit 742,981."
I flinched. "Soul Unit what now? Who are you? And where am I? Did I trip into a cosmic laundry detergent commercial?"
The voice chuckled, a sound like a thousand tiny bells chiming.
"Amusing. You are in the Transit Hub. I am… let's call me the Facilitator. And you, dear Soul Unit, are officially deceased."
"Deceased?" I gulped. "So, no more pizza? No more terrible pop songs?" A wave of genuine, existential sadness washed over me. The pizza!
"Indeed. But fear not! For you, a unique opportunity awaits. You see, the universe is a vast, complex, and occasionally chaotic place.
Sometimes, certain 'anomalies' occur. Like your untimely encounter with the aforementioned banana peel."
"Hey! It was a really slippery banana peel," I protested, though I wasn't sure who I was protesting to.
"Quite. And due to said anomaly, you've been flagged for… reassignment. To a world quite different from your own. A world of cultivation, magic, and rather enthusiastic dragons."
My jaw, which I realized I didn't actually have in this state, would have dropped. "Dragons? Like, 'breathing fire and hoarding gold' dragons?"
"The very same! But here's the fun part: you won't just be reborn as a peasant or a prince.
You've been selected for a special role. A… Systems Trader."
Before I could ask what in the cosmic heck that meant, a shimmering, translucent panel materialized before me. It looked suspiciously like a cheap knock-off of a mobile game interface, but floating in pure white space.
"Observe," the Facilitator intoned. "
You possess the unique ability to acquire and distribute 'Systems.' These are specialized meta-abilities that accelerate growth, grant unique powers, or simply make life more… interesting for their recipients."
The panel now displayed a single, glowing number: "Points: 1".
Below it, a dizzying array of options scrolled by, each labeled with a name and a cost in points.
[Heroic Cultivation System] - Cost: 50,000 Points (Grants unparalleled talent in all cultivation arts, attracts legendary masters, destined for greatness!)
[Master Chef System] - Cost: 10,000 Points (Turns any ingredient into a gourmet delight, unlocks forgotten recipes, gains loyal followers through food!)
[Infinite Inventory System] - Cost: 25,000 Points (A personal spatial dimension of unlimited size, perfect for hoarders and adventurers!)
[Luck Buff System] - Cost: 30,000 Points (Turns unfortunate events into minor inconveniences, finds rare items more often, always picks the winning lottery ticket – if they had lotteries.)
...and on and on it went, from 'Beast Tamer Extraordinaire' to 'Ultimate Slacker's Paradise.'
My lone '1' point mocked me. Fifty thousand points for a Heroic Cultivation System? I couldn't even afford the 'Mildly Above Average Hair Growth System' (cost: 5 points).
"So," I mumbled, "I'm basically a cosmic vending machine for superpowers, but I'm starting with exactly enough currency to buy… a packet of gum?"
The Facilitator chimed again.
"Precisely! Though, in your current state, gum is somewhat… irrelevant. Your first point is a starter bonus. A little nudge to get you acquainted with your new role."
I scrolled through the seemingly endless list, my eyes darting past the exorbitant costs.
And then I saw it, way down at the very bottom, practically hidden by a faint glow:
[Enthusiastic Rock Collection System] - Cost: 1 Point (Grants an inexplicable urge to collect rocks, enhances the aesthetic appeal of collected rocks, makes rocks slightly shinier.)
I stared at it. An Enthusiastic Rock Collection System? Seriously? Out of all the grand, life-changing powers, I could afford to make someone really into rocks.
"Is this a joke?" I asked the void.
"Not at all," the Facilitator replied, a hint of amusement in its voice.
"Every system has its purpose. Even the humble ones."
"Humble doesn't even begin to cover it," I sighed. But what else could I do? I had one point. This was my destiny, apparently.
To be the universe's most underfunded system peddler, starting with shiny pebbles.
"Alright, fine," I grumbled. "I'll take the Rock Collection System. What do I do now?"
"Excellent choice! Now, to the allocation phase. You will be sent to the designated world. Your system will guide you to a suitable recipient.
A true Systems Trader recognizes potential in the most unexpected places."
Before I could protest, the bright white space swirled. It wasn't a gentle swirl; it was more like being sucked into a cosmic washing machine set on 'warp speed.' Colors exploded, sounds roared, and my non-existent stomach did a flip.
The next sensation was solid ground beneath my feet and a rather pungent aroma of… damp earth and something vaguely reptilian.
I blinked, then blinked again. The world around me was a riot of greens and browns, giant trees stretching to touch a sky that was a dizzying shade of emerald. Strange, bioluminescent plants pulsed with soft light.
The air was thick, humid, and alive with the chirps and croaks of unseen creatures.
My body felt… normal. Human. I patted myself down.
Two arms, two legs, slightly rumpled clothes
(which were mysteriously my old jogging shorts and a band t-shirt – very appropriate for a fantasy world).
I felt a new weight in my mind, like an app running silently in the background. My "Systems Trader" system.
A new holographic message popped up, floating just in my line of sight.
[Systems Trader Dashboard]
Current Points:0
Owned Systems:
[Enthusiastic Rock Collection System] - STATUS: Unallocated
Objective: Locate a suitable recipient for [Enthusiastic Rock Collection System].
Guidance: Follow the faint green glow.
A faint, almost ethereal green glow appeared, leading deeper into the jungle.
"Well, this is less 'heroic quest' and more 'follow the glowing breadcrumbs to give someone a rock obsession'," I muttered, but a strange excitement bubbled within me.
This was it. My new life. My new, ridiculously weird, life.
I followed the glow, pushing through giant ferns and ducking under hanging vines.
The jungle felt ancient, teeming with life. After what felt like an hour of trekking, the glow led me to a small clearing.
In the middle of the clearing, sitting cross-legged by a tiny, flickering campfire, was a kid.
He looked no older than twelve, with messy, soot-stained hair and clothes patched so many times they were more patch than original fabric.
He was diligently scrubbing a small, dull grey stone with a piece of cloth, his brow furrowed in concentration.
"He's… polishing a rock," I whispered, a feeling of absurd serendipity washing over me.
The system's message updated:
"Recipient Candidate Identified: Young 'Bramble' (Provisional Name). High Affinity for Earth Elements. Ideal Match."
"Bramble?" I chuckled. This day just kept getting weirder. I slowly approached, trying not to look like a confused, out-of-place human who just fell out of the sky.
The boy looked up, startled, his eyes wide. He quickly clutched the grey stone to his chest. "Who… who are you?" he stammered, his voice thin with fear.
I raised my hands in a placating gesture. "Hey there, kid. Don't worry. I'm… I'm just passing through. My name's Alex."
He eyed me suspiciously, still clutching his rock. "You lost?"
"Something like that," I said, trying to sound casual. "Say, that's a… a nice rock you've got there."
His eyes, initially wary, softened a fraction. He glanced down at the dull stone.
"It's… it's just a common river stone. But I thought if I polished it enough, maybe it would shine. Like the ones the village elders talk about, the ones with power."
His voice dropped to a near whisper. "I wish I could find one of those. Or at least make this one special."
A little pang hit me. This kid, out here alone, just wanted a shiny rock.
And I had exactly the system for him. It was ridiculous, but also… kind of heartwarming.
He didn't need a Heroic Cultivation System to change his life, not yet. Maybe he just needed a little spark, a little encouragement for his simple, earnest dream.
"You know what, Bramble?" I said, a grin spreading across my face. "I think I can help you with that."
I extended my hand, and the translucent [Enthusiastic Rock Collection System] icon floated from my internal vision and hovered gently above his hand.
Bramble stared at it, eyes wide with wonder, then back at me, a mixture of awe and confusion on his face.
"W-what is that?" he whispered.
"It's a gift," I said, feeling a strange surge of warmth as I made the mental command to activate it.
"A system. It'll help you find all the coolest rocks you could ever imagine. And make them really, really shine."
As the system icon dissolved into a shower of green sparkles and seemed to flow into Bramble's chest, a sudden, almost euphoric glow spread across his face.
He gasped, dropping the common river stone – which, I noticed, now seemed to possess a faint, almost imperceptible shimmer.
"Whoa," he breathed, his gaze fixed on the suddenly sparkling stone.
"It's… it's beautiful! I… I feel like I just get rocks now!" He looked at me, his eyes shining with a new, intense passion.
"Thank you! Thank you, Alex! I'm going to find the best rocks! The most amazing rocks in the whole wide world!"
He scrambled to his feet, instantly forgetting his fear, and began eagerly scanning the ground around him, a new, boundless energy emanating from him.
"Look! Look at this one! It's got such a unique curve!" he exclaimed, already picking up another small pebble with newfound reverence.
I watched him, a genuine smile forming on my face.
My first system, given to a kid who just wanted to appreciate rocks. My points were gone, but seeing his sheer joy, his instant transformation from a timid, lonely child into an enthusiastic rock connoisseur… it felt surprisingly good.
The Systems Trader dashboard in my mind flickered again:
[Enthusiastic Rock Collection System] - STATUS: Allocated to 'Bramble'
[First System Allocation Bonus! Points: +10]
My eyes widened. Ten points? Just for giving away a rock system? This… this was going to be fun!
And who knew, maybe Bramble would become the world's most powerful pebble-wielder. Or at least the happiest.
I glanced at the new ten points, a mischievous glint in my eye.
The universe was my oyster, and I had a whole new catalogue of weird and wonderful systems to choose from!