"If God is a woman, then God is a weapon."
Falling in Reverse ft. Marylin Manson
2 weeks later
I put my reddish hair up in a bun and went into the kitchen. Still being chased, I can't say that I breathed freedom with each inhale. I need to find a place to live in two weeks. I'm not sure what to do right now, so I'm just having fun. It's been a while since I did that.
My hair has become so soft in just 14 days... My skin feels relaxed, no longer expecting a blow to come from somewhere. It's incredible to fall asleep and wake up alone without feeling any danger right next to me.
Matt hasn't shown up again. He probably won't show up until I leave. Also, the house is really cute. Even though it's a townhouse, no one lives next door to me. It's so cozy and quiet inside. Flowerpots that hung from the ceiling used to be there. They look lovely, but it's too bad no one is left to water them. Ivy grows up the walls of the house, and the inside is mostly light shades of green and blue. I really feel like I've come to see my grandmother. That could be why I feel mostly safe.
Everything is going wrong because I need new documents, money, and, ideally, plane tickets to Europe. They will find me here eventually, which is a big problem.
I do have a new old phone, though. It's funny, I thought it was no longer possible to get an iPhone 5, but if you look around where you live, you can find anything.
Not a single notification in 14 days, not a single order, not a single humiliation.
I lit a cigarette, went out onto the terrace, and sat down in a rocking chair. It was already evening; there were hardly any cars passing by, only people walking with strolers, children and teenagers playing ball.
As usual, I put my feet up on the table next to me and smoked. Wow, that's almost like an orgasm. I held the smoke in my throat and lips for a few seconds. The taste of tobacco and menthol was a little bit painful. As I let out a breath, I closed my eyes to fully enjoy it.
The only thing missing was a cup of tea and a book. By the way, there's a library in this house; I'll have to check it out.
As soon as I thought about it, I stubbed out my cigarette on the sole of my sneaker and went into the house. I urgently needed something to read.
I saw something weird as I went up the stairs to the second floor... There was an open window, even though I was sure I had shut it when I got here. Plus I didn't need to go up to the second floor for anything else.
Most likely, I just imagined it. Okay.
I turned on the light in the small room at the end of the hallway. As soon as I got there, I smelled a mix of dust, dampness, and paper. It was odd but exciting. On the shelves, there were Ian Banks and Ray Bradbury. Chuck Palahniuk caught my eye after I had looked through a few shelves. "Beautiful You"... Ladies, this book is definitely not for men. I'm really sick of them using my body for their own pleasure, so I think this is a great choice.
I went back out to the deck right away and sat down in the same comfortable spot, but this time I had the book in my hands. I knew that tomorrow I would start making changes when I looked at the title page. My reddish-brown hair does make me stand out, after all. It's time for me to change my natural color to something more... weird and not like me.
It seemed like I was lost in thought for a second, but the street was already empty. The streetlights were on to make the road visible for cars and bikes riding at night. The sound of crickets, the sky full of stars, and me being alone.
My peace and desire to finally start reading were interrupted by the sound of an engine. A motorcyclist on a Ducati Streetfighter. First of all, it was fucking loud. This guy clearly liked to stand out from the crowd. Secondly, he stopped right across the street and had been standing there for 5 minutes.
I could get a good look at both him and his bike. A bold choice: a red Ducati. With a leather jacket on top, he was dressed in full gear. His red and black helmet had tinted glass that went all the way around his face and was covered in graffiti and bright stickers. He looked like he might be a teen braggart, but I don't think he would have the money for that.
My heart skipped a beat when I saw him turn his head in my direction and look straight at me. It could be Alan's human. Not Mike's, because I know a lot of his bad guys. Their style is different.
I put down my book and looked at him directly. You little jerk, I'm not scared of you. For another ten minutes or so, we just looked at each other until he shook his head, adjusted his gloves, and cranked the engine. He left just as quickly as he had come. That guy is weird.
"It looks like I won't be able to have my cozy time tonight."
I turned the key from inside the house when I went back outside. Every window on every floor was shut when I checked. The only lights that are on are in the bedroom and hallway. Yes, I'm a coward; I'm afraid of complete darkness! Who isnt? . Even more so when you're afraid of bad guys with knives, saws, or other tools, not just monsters popping out from under the bed.
I could read now without any noise.
•─────⋅☾⊱♰⊰☽⋅─────•
«My sweet, dear Errin. You look so stunning right now.» The whiplash brought me to my senses for literally two seconds, and now I'm back in a semi-conscious state. - I think my friends would like you better this way too... Why all the jewelry, makeup... Mike came closer to me and started breathing down my neck, inhaling my scent.
My feet and hands were strapped to the cage as I stood there. My wrists were going blue because the handcuffs were so tight and hanging from the ceiling. I could also feel my blood starting to rust the metal. Because my legs were so swollen and weak, I could no longer feel my feet. I'm not sure how long or how many hours I've been here. But I'll always remember that I can't accidentally scratch his friends' dicks during a throat fuck. It was an accident, and I'm just glad my teeth are still in place.
A small thread of saliva stretched from my mouth directly onto my bare chest as I felt Mike come closer and slip his hand into the cramped cage to once again run his finger through the rough leather glove between my pussy lips.
"It's too bad you're not wet. I believe you will eventually come to enjoy this."
"No..." I just barely got the word out.
"Yes, of course. I love it when you say no." Behind me, I heard his belt buckle and pants zipper click. "You're a gross whore. I will teach you how to be good, though."
My vision was already blurring when I felt his cock enter me through the bars. A thrust, a kick on my ass, another thrust. I think... This will never end. And now I start screaming from the pain.
•─────⋅☾⊱♰⊰☽⋅─────•
"GET AWAY FROM ME, NO, I HATE YOU."
I woke up because I heard myself scream. Fuck...
It felt like my heart was going to burst or jump out of my chest. Have you ever heard that a broken heart can kill you? The name for it is Takotsubo syndrome. Your heart literally can stop when a strong rush of adrenaline or stress hormones appears. I'm shocked I'm still alive. I think my PTSD care will cost a lot of money.
I turned on the light in the bathroom and checked my cell phone to see what time it was. It was only 6 a.m. There was also a new message. Oh, fuck. That's strange. It's a new number, noone have it.
I splashed my face with icy cold water and opened the text message.
"I'll be there today at 2. Matt."
I took a deep breath, didn't answer, and didn't want to answer. He can come here whenever he wants because it's his parents' house. I almost trust him too.
There's still a lot of time, so I think I can make plans. Since the store next door opens in an hour, I can take a cold shower, wake up, and forget about my dream.
I love how my body feels when the water is so cold. A lot of the scars were too deep, and the skin over them was completely numb. This kind of water made me feel alive. My name is Errin, not a ghost. And I hope to change into someone else soon.
After my shower, I threw on some oversized sweatpants and a hoodie. Hiding behind it, I left the house and looked around. There didn't seem to be anyone suspicious, especially on motorcycles. Ten minutes later, I was in the store, grabbing a couple of bottles of water, coffee, and waffles. I love waffles.
I stood a little longer in the grocery area, though. The hair dye stand made me freeze because I didn't know which color to pick. But I had to get rid of the reddish-brown color for sure.
Okay, let fate decide. I took out the color chart, closed my eyes, and pointed to the first color I saw. Black, wow. Okay... In principle, it's pretty inconspicuous. I took two bottles of dye and hurried home. It's time for a change, baby.
•─────⋅☾⊱♰⊰☽⋅─────•
Matt was just around the corner, and I looked in the mirror and didn't recognize myself. I changed my makeup to, so it's harder to tell who I am now. I changed from a scared and gentle little fox into a mean and dangerous she-wolf.
I drew lines around the outside and inside corners of my eyes, put on long eyelashes, and gave my eyes a little shape. I colored my eyebrows too. So now I'm a full bruinnete. I guess I should just go goth? Just kidding . Goth is hot, but maybe a little too flashy for my situation.
The doorbell went off. Finally, Matt turns out to be a very polite man. Lol.
I looked through the peephole in the door to make sure it was really him, then I opened it. Even though I wasn't looking at him, he walked into the kitchen with two big bags of food.
"Close the door. What are you looking at? Oh... Well... Wow..." He could tell I was different after taking off my hood. "I didn't expect this, but it works for you."
"Thank you. What did you bring?"
"A little humanitarian aid for those in need." He began to arrange the groceries on the shelves of the fridge. There was everything: fish, meat, waffles, juices, vegetables, and fruits.
"Thanks, of course, but I don't eat that much."
"I do." I looked at him questioningly.
"I need to work, so I have to stay here for a week. Don't worry, I'll sleep in a different room." He closed the fridge after put the milk on the shelf.
«Well, I totally don't mind; things have been pretty odd here lately." Matt looked at me with a question.
Damn, he's so goddamn handsome today. His T-shirt hugged every muscle, and his sweatpants didn't hide how strong his thighs were. A Greek profile and these eyes you could drown in... Yes, I'm a traumatized woman, and I should hate men, but I won't reject obvious beauty.
"Yesterday, some strange motorcyclist stopped near the house. He stared at me for about 10 minutes. And I keep noticing that the windows I'm sure I closed are open."
"Well, then I'll definitely stay. Let's hope the local biker just likes you." He smiled slightly. "Would you like some tea? Oh, and by the way..."
"Yes, with mint." He started rummaging through his pockets and finally pulled out some documents.
"This is a gift for you." He handed me the documents, and what I saw made me smile.
"Gloria Usher. God… Wow, this is wonderful. Thank you!» I was unaware of how I had thrown my arms around his neck and embraced him tightly. After a few moments, I began to feel uncomfortable and withdrew from him. I had no idea how to get these documents. After a couple of seconds, I felt awkward and pulled away from him. "I'm sorry."
"Come on, I'll feed you for this week. It hurts to even hug you."
He laughed a little, and I playfully punched him in the chest.
"How did you find out about Usher?"
"When you threw your phone away, I saw the wallpaper. I also love The Fall of the House of Usher. And Edgar Allan Poe himself is wonderful." I looked at him suspiciously. "What? My mom and nanny has a large library."
"I noticed. Thanks again." He smiled again and poured boiling water into our cups of tea.
We talked for a while over tea about our childhood, maybe because neither of us really likes being an adult. His grandma owns this house, but his mom and dad lived here for her last 10 years, helping her. From what Matt said, it sounds like his grandparents were outstanding. He really liked their chocolate and banana pancakes, and he even said he would make them tomorrow.
The sound of an engine interrupted our conversation.
"It's him. He's the one riding the Ducati. I recognized the sound." He stood up and looked out the window. Sure enough, there was a stranger standing there, looking straight at Matt's house.
"Well, I'll go see what he wants."
"What do you mean?"
Matt didn't say much. He just walked over to a lump next to the kitchen furniture, opened it, and pulled out a bat that had two screwdrivers hammered into it. Holy shit.
"WOW, WOW, STOP!»
"Sit here and don't stick your head out.»
I obediently sat down on a chair and opened the window. As soon as Matt left the house, the biker sped off. All I could hear was Matt screaming something loudly as he tried to catch up with the guy. My savior returned to the house.
"I have good and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?"