"Luckily... I survived today.
Had I been in that cottage, I'd be nothing but a memory by now."
Damn my laziness. Damn my stinginess.
If only I hadn't refused to let anyone into my house…
If only I hadn't cared about the midwife seeing how filthy it is,
If only I didn't fear cleaning up my own blood after giving birth,
If only I didn't care who saw me screaming in labor—
I was afraid my enemies would seize the moment I was at my weakest.
Had I not been so obsessed with privacy...
I'd be dead.
And the worst part?
I really... almost killed you, child.
But that smile.
That insane, eerie smile in your eyes…
Stopped me.
Ha... here comes my hypocrisy again.
I truly don't know whether I wanted to kill you or not.
But since you showed me something… I'll let you live.
And I'll spend on you.
I must be crazy.
Is that really an excuse to raise a child?
I'm talking about killing an innocent baby like it's nothing!
...Ugh, I need to cook something for myself.
That tiny creature drained every ounce of strength from my body.
I started cooking, and when I sat to eat—
Ah, food truly tastes better after hunger.
So much better when your stomach has forgotten what fullness feels like.
You insane little thing…
That's another point in your favor.
It's been a while since I actually enjoyed a meal.
I need to sleep.
I'm exhausted.
But I have to shower first.
I stepped into the bathroom, scrubbing myself like a madwoman.
Trying to wash off the filth of this world.
Trying to scrub the madness off my own soul.
I came out, dried off, and prepared to sleep.
Last night, I hardly slept at all.
That beast's scream shattered what little peace I had left.
I looked at the sleeping baby.
I walked over, lay beside him, and began to nurse him.
After he finished, I got ready for bed—
I mean... for the nightmares.
I just hope they're not too terrifying tonight.
I don't want to wake up gasping in fear,
not in front of my son.
He might wonder, "Is this the same person who tried to choke me earlier?"
I don't want to see grotesque faces,
rotting corpses feeding rats and worms.
Oh! I forgot—
I was supposed to restock the house.
And the last of the food? I just ate it.
Not important.
I'll deal with it after I wake up.
There I go again—lazy and always postponing everything.
Let the world burn, I don't care anymore.
I don't want to see the faces of the townsfolk.
They make me feel like I'm the only criminal in this entire world.
But that's normal, I guess.
None of them has seen the other side of this world.
If they had, they wouldn't be living so peacefully.
They think danger only comes at night.
If only they knew...
"The bliss of ignorance"—
What a stupid phrase, polished by liars.
There's no bliss in dying blind.
No mercy in believing your wife was pure,
when she was...
Let's not bring her up.
Let's not expose her.
I'm a woman who's seen the other face of the world.
Damn it.
Now I'm playing the victim.
Lying to myself,
searching for justifications for my madness and corruption.
The innocent eyes of the townsfolk... they make me jealous.
How I long for purity.
Looks like I've drowned in my stupid thoughts again,
trying to find the reason I despise them so much.
But maybe it's simple:
Light always repels the dark.
And when truth appears, lies are buried.