I was mid-yawn, lounging in a hot spring with rose petals drifting across the surface, when my peace was violently interrupted.
---
[SYSTEM NOTIFICATION]
> Welcome, Host, to the Dual Cultivation Interface™
Current Physique: Heaven-Grade Yang Body
Partner Compatibility: Activated
Yin-Energy Source Required to Advance.
Compatible Targets: 137 scanned within 3km radius.
Recommended Partner: Qing'er – Yin Alignment: Pure, Loyalty: 89%, Curiosity: Rising
---
I blinked.
"You're telling me I need to… cultivate through sex to level up?"
---
[SYSTEM]
> Affirmative.
Current Cultivation Speed (Solo): 0.01%
Cultivation Speed (Dual): 7,000%
Warning: Refusing to cultivate will result in severe stagnation, ridicule, and spiritual blueballs.
---
"...Spiritual blueballs? Are you messing with me?"
---
[SYSTEM]
> This is a serious cultivation system.
Would you like a tutorial on preferred positions based on your partner's meridian layout?
---
I stood up and yelled toward the heavens. "I reincarnated to become a human vibrator?!"
"Y-Young Master?" Qing'er peeked from behind a privacy screen.
I sat down instantly. "No! Not you—I was yelling at the sky!"
She tilted her head. "Were the heavens yelling back?"
"...Kinda."
---
Later That Night...
I was in my bedchamber. Candles flickered. Silk curtains swayed. Qing'er stood nervously at the edge of the room, fiddling with her sleeves.
"Young Master… you requested me?"
Requested? More like the system practically shoved me out of the hot spring and into the bedroom.
I sighed. I wasn't going to force her. No way. That's not how I rolled.
"Qing'er," I said softly. "I don't remember much of what happened before… but I know this body wronged a lot of people. Including you."
She blinked. "You… remember that?"
"Bits. Enough to know I was a jackass."
"...You still are a little," she said, with a smirk.
I laughed. "Fair."
She stepped closer. "You're… different now. Not just your words. Even your Qi feels clearer. More powerful. And I… I want to help you."
I raised a brow. "You sure?"
She nodded. "It's what I was trained for. And… this time, I want to feel like it means something."
---
[SYSTEM]
> Dual Cultivation Engaged.
Host has achieved Harmony with Target.
Progress: 4%… 12%… 24%…
Qi increased! Core solidified!
Yin-Energy absorbed!
---
By morning, I felt like I'd slept on a thundercloud and drank sunlight for breakfast.
Power surged through me. My senses were sharper. My body stronger. My thoughts… dangerously confident.
I could actually feel it.
Cultivation. Real progress. Real power.
And yet—
---
"Li Xian, you dog!"
A loud voice boomed outside my courtyard.
"I know you're in there, hiding behind your maids and wine!"
I groaned. The voice belonged to Shen Tai, heir to the Shen Clan. Also known as "The Pebble Prince" because of his Earth Qi affinity and the fact that his spiritual attacks were about as threatening as decorative rocks.
I stepped outside in a robe, still glowing faintly from my dual session. I probably looked like a demonic saint who'd just returned from heaven's bedroom.
"What do you want, Pebble?"
"You insulted my sister at the banquet!"
"Insulted? I complimented her hair. It just wasn't on her head."
"You bastard!"
"You're just mad your sister invited me to her chamber and I said I was busy cultivating. Which, clearly, I was."
Gasps echoed from the courtyard guards.
Shen Tai's face turned beet red.
"I challenge you to a duel! At dawn, three days from now!"
I looked down at my nails.
"Hmm… sounds inconvenient."
"Coward!"
I smiled.
"I accept. But we'll do it tonight instead. I don't wait to teach lessons."
His face paled.
"Tonight then!"
He stomped off.
I turned to Qing'er. "What realm is he again?"
"Late Qi Gathering," she said.
"And me?"
"Early Foundation."
I grinned. "Perfect. I can beat him with one hand tied. Maybe two. While drinking."
---
That Night – The Duel Arena
A crowd gathered. Elders, disciples, girls with flowers, random beggars pretending to be cultivators—it was a proper show.
Shen Tai stepped onto the arena platform, his Earth Qi forming a faint brown glow around his fists.
"You ready to lose, Young Master Xian?"
I yawned.
He roared and charged.
I sidestepped.
He tripped on his own Qi-enhanced kick, spun in the air, and landed flat on his face.
The crowd gasped.
I walked up and tapped him on the head with my sandal.
"Never let your anger outpace your skill."
He groaned.
---
[SYSTEM]
> Public Defeat of Rival: +Reputation
Crowd Impressed: +Charm
Qing'er's Admiration: +3
New Title Acquired: Playboy Sage-in-Training
---
"That's enough for today," I said, turning to the stunned crowd.
"Now if anyone else wants to die of embarrassment, I'll be in my hot spring."
---
Author's Note
MC's breaking necks and hearts already 😂
Next chapter: new beauties, first sect invitation, and a secret assassin sent to kill him.
See you in Chapter 3!
– ✍️ Kazuki Ren