After barely surviving yesterday's enchantment project without being turned into a desk chair, Yuuji had hoped for at least one normal day.
He was, of course, wrong.
He woke up to an envelope hovering three inches above his face.
Not an owl, not a messenger—just a sentient piece of magical parchment pulsing with gentle malevolence, glowing faintly like it knew exactly how much trouble he was about to be in.
[New Quest Received: "Audience With the Headmistress"]➤ Priority: High➤ Suggested Buff: Clean Uniform, Brushed Hair, Do Not Be Sarcastic➤ Failure Condition: Expulsion. Probably. Or Explosive Summoning. Unknown.
"That's bad news with font flair," Yuuji muttered, snatching it out of the air.
The golden wax seal bore a stylized eye surrounded by interlocking runes that shimmered like it was watching him. Of course it was.
"Because she has a floating-eye logo," Yuuji sighed. "Why wouldn't she."
Elira, curled up nearby with a leather-bound grimoire so ominous it looked like it needed a parole officer, didn't even glance up. "You're being summoned. Try not to combust."
"Do people combust around her often?"
"Metaphorically. Mostly."
Yuuji stared at the letter. "Is there a dress code for death?"
"Formal panic," Elira offered.
The Tower of Headmistress Caldris
The route to the Headmistress's office was designed like a JRPG dungeon. Yuuji climbed more stairs than any building should legally be allowed to contain. He passed four suspiciously expressive statues, three unblinking gargoyles, a floating staircase that asked him for a riddle (which he failed), and one hallway that looped infinitely unless you walked through it backward while reciting the quadratic formula.
He tried skipping it. It made him start over. Twice.
Eventually, the final set of ornate doors parted with a whisper and a soft whoosh of arcane air.
The Headmistress's office resembled a cathedral made of scrolls, glowing diagrams, and weighty tomes suspended midair. Maps restructured themselves on the walls like sentient origami. A dozen quills scribbled across floating sheets of parchment, jotting down information he was almost certain included his name.
Magic drifted like golden dust, sparkling faintly in a way that felt both beautiful and judgmental.
And at the center of it all stood Headmistress Caldris.
She didn't glow, per se—but the air around her shimmered with an undeniable weight of presence. She wore silver-accented robes embroidered with ancient sigils, and her eyes—piercing, analytical, timeless—felt like they could peel your personality apart just by blinking.
Her voice was calm. Quiet. Final.
"Mr. Hoshino."
Yuuji stood stiffly, trying not to think about the three different ways he might be magically launched out the window. "Present. Possibly in trouble."
The Polite Interrogation
"Do you know why you're here?"
"Uh… I tripped a noble. Magically. In public. Then technically won a duel."
Caldris gestured, and a floating projection unfurled in the air beside her—showing a crystal-clear, slow-motion replay of the exact moment Liam tripped over Yuuji's illusion trap and face-planted.
Twice.
Yuuji groaned. "You have replays?"
"Halcyon Academy prides itself on post-event analysis."
The display shifted to a wider shot of the cheering crowd. Then to Elira blinking in mild approval.
Then to Liam groaning into the dirt.
Yuuji covered his face with a hand. "Okay, so maybe it was a bit dramatic."
"You embarrassed a high-born heir in front of half the school."
"In my defense, I was very scared and mostly reacting on reflex and spite."
The projection vanished.
"You've disrupted the expected hierarchy," Caldris said. "Not intentionally, perhaps—but visibly. Publicly."
Yuuji blinked. "Is this about school politics? Because I don't even know how the dorms are numbered."
"You weren't supposed to be a variable. You were meant to exist in the periphery. Tutoring one student. Quiet. Undisturbed."
He looked down. "Believe me, that was the plan."
"And yet, here you are. Beating nobles in formal duels. Gaining social momentum. Earning the approval of Professor Daelin."
She waved her hand. A new screen appeared, this one showing a growing cluster of glowing student dossiers. His name was now floating near the center.
"You've entered the narrative."
Yuuji stared. "...The what now?"
[System Alert: Plot Momentum Increased]➤ Main Quest Updated: Compete in the Inter-House Tournament➤ Sub-Quest Unlocked: "Survive School-Wide Drama Like a Protagonist"➤ Side Quest: Invest in Better Footwear. You Will Be Running.
"Why me?" he muttered. "I'm a support-class tutor with a sarcasm problem."
"You are the unexpected element. Chaos in a system designed for legacy. The others were trained for this. Raised for it."
Yuuji folded his arms. "So what, I'm a plot anomaly?"
Caldris gave a faint smile. "You are a spark. And sparks are... combustible. But sometimes they light revolutions."
Yuuji narrowed his eyes. "That sounds profound and deeply threatening."
"Good. You're beginning to understand."
Aftermath: Existential Crisis & Casual Bonding
Yuuji stumbled back into the dorm lounge like a man who had walked into a perfectly normal staff meeting and come out with a prophecy and a minor destiny allergy.
He dropped into an armchair. His limbs no longer answered to gravity.
Elira looked up from her book.
"So," she asked, "how doomed are we?"
He made a vague finger-wiggling gesture that could only be interpreted as emotionally concussed.
"I've been recruited."
"For what?"
"The Inter-House Tournament."
"Of course you have."
"I didn't even sign up."
"The story did it for you."
Yuuji groaned. "I hate being narratively relevant."
"You should've kept a lower profile."
"I tried! I was invisible until I enchanted that rock."
Elira set her book aside, looking at him with the faintest ghost of a smile.
"You've gained momentum. The faculty's watching. The students are whispering. And Liam... is probably sulking."
Yuuji pointed a shaky finger. "He smiled at the end."
"That's more terrifying, honestly."
[New Title Unlocked: Narratively Inconvenient]
A loud thump shook the ceiling.
Elira tilted her head slightly. "Ceiling cube's back."
Yuuji moaned. "Why does this school have so many cubes?"
[New Objective: Survive Until the Tournament Begins]Optional: Don't Cry In Public (1/3 Attempts Remaining)Bonus: Make Elira Smile Again (Progress: 1/5)
Yuuji exhaled slowly.
"Okay," he said. "Okay. New plan. Don't die. Don't get expelled. Avoid spontaneous prophecy. And maybe—maybe—find out how to survive this ridiculous school."
Elira raised her brow. "Also win the tournament?"
He blinked. "...Let's focus on not being exploded first."
Next Time: Meet the Other Competitors (Some of Whom Have Muscles AND Personality)➤ Warning: Incoming Hotblooded Rival Type➤ Suggested Strategy: Smile, Nod, Pretend You're Not In Over Your Head
And thus, the reluctant protagonist spirals further into magical absurdity.
Cue panic.