I had long lost track of how much time we'd spent together that night. Alexander didn't strike me as someone who skipped steps and simply took his fiancé to bed. But we'd been sharing pheromones, kisses, and touches for hours. I couldn't say how many times I'd reached my peak, and yet the alpha didn't seem anywhere near his. He had claimed me completely, even leaving my face a glorious mess. And honestly, I preferred it that way. It was better than exchanging tender feelings at sunset. I'd considered the possibility of a romantic connection, but now that I longed to leave, I couldn't just surrender again to the haunting sensations of love.
Alexander was beautiful, and his scent drove me mad. There was something intoxicating about having a destined mate. It felt like puzzle pieces I didn't even know existed had suddenly started falling into place. I could feel the sweat tracing down my skin as I moved with all the intensity I still had, despite my exhaustion. My body was a collection of sensations — bruises, bite marks, a sore wrist marked by his fingers, and the dull ache of being claimed again and again. I felt completely adrift in that daze.
— I'm going to... — I murmured, my voice hoarse from hours of whispering his name. When Alexander heard me, he tightened his grip, marking my skin with sharp slaps before pushing me down and moving with such force I thought we might break apart.
He filled me completely, and the pressure pulled a final wave of ecstasy from me. I couldn't tell what was happening around me anymore. It was the first time I'd ever blacked out while making love.
A fragment of a memory lingered in my mind.
Alexander was watching me, laughing sweetly as he pointed at a wooden training dummy. He seemed to be enjoying the moment. I didn't quite grasp the setting, but seeing a younger, more reckless version of him brought me unexpected warmth. The alpha was helping me and seemed genuinely entertained. My hands were calloused from constant training, and everything felt light, playful.
I opened my eyes wishing I could stay in that dream. I sat up slowly. Alexander was seated now, his back covered in nail marks, with some bites on his shoulders and arms I didn't even remember giving.
— Are you alright? — My voice sounded a little shaken.
— I don't know if I can do this. — Alexander's voice was tinged with emotion.
I crawled toward him, still feeling the dull ache in my waist after everything we'd done. But I soon noticed I was completely clean — there wasn't a trace of mess left. He had taken care of me, and that stirred something strange inside me.
— Do what? — I sat beside him on the bed, resting on my heels.
Alexander turned to face me seriously, but his eyes were misty. The sight crushed my heart. I had never seen an alpha cry. They usually withdrew to their chambers, hiding any ambiguous sign of weakness. I even believed Baltazar was incapable of any emotion at all.
— Let you go. — Alex raised a hand to his face and looked away. — I'm selfish and I know it. Even after everything, I still carry countless responsibilities for the things I've done.
— And what do you want, then? To keep me trapped here? — I felt my temper flare. My only reliable ally was telling me he would let go of my hand. Alex gripped my shoulders firmly, his touch pressing into my skin.
— I can't bear to watch you leave a second time. You don't understand. It may have seemed like I was cold... but losing a mate, losing someone you love... I never wanted any of it to happen. But I was powerless in a game of politics, and I was willing to die if it meant keeping you alive. The plan was always to rescue you. But then you saw me and felt betrayed, and how could I explain that I came to save you? — His voice cracked as he pressed harder into my shoulder. — You slipped through my fingers, and I thought if I had been just a little stronger, I could've held on. It was like stopping time for four years. Every achievement, every triumph I had meant nothing. My mind relived that day over and over. I missed you and wished I had treasured our moments together more. I stopped going to our little rituals — we were supposed to collect seashells on the beach, and I didn't go. Why didn't I do it when you asked?
The alpha leaned his head against my shoulder, and I could feel he was crying.
— I can't marry you knowing the day will come when I'll have to let you go again. I know it's selfish. I don't want this. I'd rather refuse any commitment, defy my father's will, than make a promise I know I won't be able to keep. — His grip softened, and I didn't know what to say.
— I spent so long thinking I'd never see you again, mourning your loss, living like a puppet, disconnected from myself. And now that I've found you, I feel like I can breathe again. Like my accomplishments finally mean something. But... it's going to end again. I'd rather step away while I still can.
I couldn't even form coherent thoughts. I hadn't realized the depth of his feelings for me, or how much he had suffered in my absence. Alexander had carried guilt and pain for causing the accident and losing a part of himself — and now, he was about to lose it again. But I didn't want to stay in that palace. It was like locking a bird in a gilded cage.
— I don't know... — For the first time, I had no idea what to do or say. I usually had something to fire back with, even if it was a sarcastic jab. But hearing him cry made it all blur.
— For now... — Alex stepped back. His hair was slightly messy, long and flowing to his waist in a beautiful dark brown. His ebony skin bore the traces of our passion, and the curve of his lips made his beauty all the more striking. How could someone be so beautiful, even while frustrated and heartbroken? — Let's keep the engagement.
— What? But you...
— I know what I said, and I stand by it. However, the council has yet to decide your fate or your claim to the throne. Until we know what's going to happen, we'll keep things as they are. So, I'll speak with my father and break off any commitments. That way, you'll be relatively safer. — The older man stood up, beginning to gather his clothes.
— Alex, for fuck's sake… — I got up and moved toward him, but my legs gave out, and I dropped to my knees on the floor. I let out a frustrated groan. — You drop a bomb like that and just walk away?
— You have nothing to say, and I have nothing left to explain, Darcy. — He gave me a sad smile. — You were right when you said you weren't Albertin… but I could easily love every version of you.
And then he left.
— Ah, son of a bitch. — My entire face burned red from that stubborn declaration. It wasn't like I'd never heard an alpha say they loved me before. But everything surrounding Alexander felt different — more intense. I knew I had feelings for him, I understood that now with clarity, but my desires, my will, were stronger than the passion fate tried to impose on me.
I didn't even have the strength to make sense of everything. So what — I'd become king alone and stay here until I finally married someone random and handed the kingdom to them? Wasn't Alex the best suited for this? I mean, at least he had the training, didn't he? His father would be disappointed. And honestly, I was heartbroken after hearing all that, realizing I'd have to spend a good part of my life in this place — alone.
Alexander was a good man… But I had already given up so much. I just wanted things to go back to how they were before I started digging through my past. Still, I had to face my problems instead of breaking down because of it. I'd never been the type to cry over these things.
Sleeping for nearly a whole day caused some stir, and there were already a few servants in my room when I opened my eyes — even a doctor. The last time I slept that long was during a heat, when I stayed awake for nearly three days and then slept for two. And now, I needed to get up, because there were half a dozen people crowding around me.
— Your Highness, you must eat — one of the servants said, holding a tray of food.
I sat up, irritated. It was far from a morning mood. My body still ached, marked by everything that had happened the night before. The servants looked embarrassed, uncomfortable witnessing the prince in such a decadent state. The young man placed the tray beside me. I glanced over it to see what delights were offered.
Some sweet breads, juice, cake, a kind of pungent cheese truffle, tea. A few boiled eggs. It looked good. I turned to the boy, waiting. If there was one upside to being in the castle, it was the food.
The servant stood still, waiting. The others had begun cleaning and organizing the room. A few came in carrying the garments that were finally ready. Most were red and gold, matching my family's crest.
— Aren't you going to taste it? — I asked the young man, who looked confused.
— I wouldn't dare, Your Highness — he answered, visibly tense.
— And what if it's poisoned? — I stood up, still staring him down.
— It's not. It came straight from the kitchen. — The boy gave a strained smile, stiff as a statue.
— Oh? Why didn't you say so earlier? Had I known, we wouldn't be having this little chat. — I smiled and picked up the cheese truffle with its strong smell, raising it to my mouth. His shoulders visibly dropped in subtle relief.
But then I grabbed his nape and shoved the pastry down his throat, pushing it in until he had no choice but to swallow or choke. I pressed his face, tightening my grip around his neck, watching closely until I was sure he had eaten every last crumb. Only then did I let him go. The boy looked utterly panicked and instinctively tried to stick his fingers down his throat. I seized his wrists.
The other servants had stopped everything, watching in disbelief.
— Call the guards — I asked softly, practicing my patience.
When no one moved—
— CALL THE DAMN GUARDS… and a doctor. — I shouted, furious. I released the boy, who collapsed on the floor, seizing violently. Poisoned.
The servants rushed out. Soon, several guards dressed in black and gold entered and witnessed the final spasms of the young man who, had he succeeded in poisoning me, would have died the same way. He had been ready to die for it — but failed.
— He tried to poison me — I informed them. Then walked toward the bathtub. Now I was hungry, in a foul mood, and thoroughly frustrated. I didn't hear many comments around me; they simply removed the body and took it to the castle's mortuary. The news wouldn't take long to spread. Servants loved gossip — and that was for the best.
At last, I managed to dress in clothes that actually fit me — beautiful, tailored garments. I didn't care for skirts, I never liked them, but I had been given some formal gowns, elegant outfits I'd never dreamed of owning, and jewelry. It was all so different from the life I'd lived these past four years. So much pomp and frivolity surrounded me.
A billowy red shirt with golden accents, a black corset, tight black pants, and boots with heels higher than I was used to. Along with a few necklaces, I filled my ears with earrings and stacked my wrists with bracelets. I stepped outside and didn't take long to spot Alex walking toward me.
— Are you alright? They told me what happened — the older man said, his voice alarmed.
— Yes. A predictable poisoning attempt. These people really think I'm an idiot — I replied, not sounding particularly distressed.
The alpha pulled me into a tight embrace, as if my life had genuinely been in danger. He truly loved me, didn't he? This wasn't just some foolish romance — it was something real. I felt overwhelmed by his feelings and didn't know what to do. Still, I wrapped my arms around him, burying my face into his chest. It was a comfort I hadn't known I needed.
I felt guilty for accepting his affection, his love — and yet, it was exactly what I longed for. If Alex was by my side, I wouldn't feel so alone. But that was unfair, wasn't it? He couldn't stay like this forever… and I wouldn't be able to stay by his side as much as I wanted to.
To be continued...