["I'm not driven by destiny. I'm driven by ego, appetite, and the need to roast someone daily." – Wu Feng]
Linchuan Outskirts – Night After the Cultivator Ball
Wu Feng leaned against a cliffside overlooking Linchuan's western edge, slurping spicy noodles like the world didn't just try to marry him to a sect heiress by accident.
The scroll from Yan Qingshuang—her signature, her seal, her vague invitation to return—was tucked casually in his sleeve. He wasn't reading it. He just liked having proof.
Beside him, the System was silent. Then, finally:
"Congratulations host you are doing great."
"What you can talk? " Wu was surprised.
"Yes I can. You created a political scandal, elevated three false identities, and sold a fake marriage pact to a rival sect. That was… efficient."
"I call it social cultivation," Wu said. "Face-slapping through affection and ambiguity."
"Your PP (Petty Points) have increased by 35. Emotional damage bonus included."
As Wu finished his midnight snack, a sharp gust of wind blew a worn map scroll toward his fire. He caught it mid-air.
Old parchment. Faded ink.
He frowned.
Property of the Forgotten Soil Chamber – Lower Archive Permit
A half-burned note was tucked into it.
"—sealed by order of five sects. Do not unearth the southern ruin."
Wu stared at it.
Then grinned.
"Southern ruin, huh?"
Half a Day Later – Forgotten Soil Ruin
The place was barely a ruin. Mostly just rocks, overgrown roots, and the outline of an old formation that occasionally sputtered with unstable qi.
Wu Feng stepped over an old talisman line. The ground didn't explode. Always a good sign.
He followed the path until he reached a collapsed gate—on it, burned into the stone, was a barely legible title:
"Prison of the Beast That Wouldn't Bow."
System:"Correction. Name was originally: Celestial Containment Cell 9.""Locals renamed it after the monkey threw a Heaven Elder into a spirit oven. Ignored every law of cultivation. Disrespected three heavens. Failed etiquette exam."
Wu paused.
"Sounds like a kindred spirit."
"Okay. I'm invested."
He didn't break into the ruin.
He cooked next to it.
Stone pot. Chili oil. Demon pork slices. Caramelized onions over talisman heat. Ramen noodles dropped into boiling broth with the grace of a seasoned street chef.
Steam curled through the old stones.
And something... stirred.
A chain rattled. A growl followed.
Then a voice—not deep or majestic. Just tired. Croaky.
"Who dares desecrate this ruin with... scent of garlic?"
Wu didn't look up.
"You mean perfectly seared garlic, layered over triple-sliced demon belly, seasoned with love and MSG?"
Another clink. Then a voice louder now:
"I AM THE DEVIL MONKEY KING! LAST OF THE BOUND BEAST GODS! I—wait… are those scallions?"
A head poked out of the shadows.
Small. Furry. Red-furred monkey, golden-ringed eyes. A celestial soul-chain wrapped around his shoulders like divine jewelry.
He sniffed.
Licked his lips.
"...Are you here to release me, mortal chef?"
"No," Wu said. "I'm here to eat."
Wu handed him a bowl.
The monkey sniffed, slurped, froze.
His pupils dilated like a cultivator reaching enlightenment through chili oil.
"What is this?! This… this is beyond alchemy. This is divine sabotage! A thousand years sealed and I break for pork-based broth?!"
Wu sipped his own bowl.
"Your name?"
I am called by many names, the monkey bellowed. "Scourge of Heaven! Terror of Peach Blossoms! First to flip off a dragon mid-tribulation!"
Wu raised a brow.
"Sounds like a guy with taste."
"From now on i will call you Sun Bobo"
"Unchain me," Sun Bobo said. "I'll serve. Temporarily. Until I conquer this realm or finish your soup."
"Nah," Wu said, pulling out a Spiritual Companion Contract scroll from the Petty Shop. "You want noodles and freedom? Sign the contract."
Bobo narrowed his eyes.
"What's in it for me?"
Wu grinned.
"Unlimited access to experimental snacks, chaos opportunities, and fashion upgrades."
"...Fashion?"
Wu tossed him a pair of fake spirit glasses and a modified chain necklace.
"Now you're not just a rogue monkey. You're a brand."
The monkey blinked.
Then slipped them on.
"Call me King Bobo."
Wu slapped the scroll.
The chains shattered.
System Update
New Companion Added: Sun Bobo
Title: Devil Monkey King
Status: Bound Companion
Traits: Loud, Dramatic, Fashion-Obsessed, Possibly Divine
Warning: Will perform ancient battle dances if fed too much sugar.
+30 PP – Bound Sealed Legendary Beast (via noodles)+10 PP – Monkey Self-Named 'Sun Bobo' With Full Confidence+5 PP – Started Cultivator-Approved Food Cult
As Wu packed up, a shadow fell across the clearing.
A girl stood nearby—sword on back, hair tied in a tight knot, robes patched but well-maintained.
Eyes sharp. Posture precise.
"I was tracking that ruin," she said. "I saw it first."
"Congratulations," Wu said, brushing sesame seeds off his cloak. "You saw it. I cleared it. And fed it."
Sun Bobo waved.
"HELLO STRANGER! DID YOU BRING NUTS?!"
The girl stared.
"...Who the hell are you?"
Wu offered a charming smirk.
"Just a rogue cultivator. Chef. And now... Trouble magnet."