Dudley steadied himself, slipping into a deeper state of focus to shield his mind from the Sorting Hat's probing. It wasn't difficult for him.
Did it uncover my secret? he wondered.
"I must say, you're the most magically gifted child I've seen in all my years," the Sorting Hat declared. "With a bit of guidance, you could become a truly great wizard."
"But this is tricky," it continued. "Where to place you? Your courage and wisdom would be prized by Gryffindor and Ravenclaw. Your ambition is perfect for Slytherin. And Hufflepuff? They'd be thrilled to have you."
"This is quite the conundrum."
The hat seemed stumped.
"I can't believe this hat's such a chatterbox," Dudley muttered, exasperated.
His sorting was taking far longer than anyone else's.
Whispers rippled through the Great Hall as students wondered why the Sorting Hat was dragging its decision out for Dudley.
"Could Hogwarts' Book of Admittance have made a mistake? Did they let in a Muggle with no magical talent?" Malfoy's voice cut through, not loud but clear in the hushed hall.
"That'd be hilarious—Harry Potter's cousin, a Squib? Oh, wait, no, he's not even a Squib, just a Muggle's kid, heh," Malfoy sneered, stirring a wave of murmurs.
"What? Harry Potter's cousin?"
"Is Harry Potter here too?"
"Which one's Harry Potter? Point him out!"
The whispers grew louder, the hall buzzing with excitement.
"Silence!" Professor McGonagall barked, her frown silencing the crowd.
The hall fell quiet, though the students' restless expressions betrayed their impatience.
McGonagall glanced at Dudley, still wearing the Sorting Hat. His sorting had taken an absurdly long time.
"Alright, alright, let me take one last look at your qualities to decide your house," the Sorting Hat said, finally nearing a verdict.
"Hurry up," Dudley urged under his breath.
"Ah!" the hat yelped suddenly, tumbling off Dudley's head and going silent.
"What just happened?" Gasps echoed through the hall.
Even McGonagall, standing nearby, looked stunned.
Dudley frowned. He hadn't done anything—why had the hat reacted like that?
Professor Dumbledore rose swiftly, strode over, and retrieved the hat from the floor.
After a brief inspection, he said, "A minor mishap."
"Professor McGonagall, let the students eat first. We'll resume sorting after dinner."
"But…" McGonagall hesitated.
The sorting was incomplete—where would the unsorted students sit?
"Let them choose a table they like for now," Dumbledore said, ignoring her concern. He gave Dudley a pointed look, then left the hall with the Sorting Hat.
"Professor, I—" Dudley began.
"It's fine," McGonagall interrupted. "The Sorting Hat may have malfunctioned. Go eat with the others for now."
She was as baffled as anyone.
Dudley rejoined the line, meeting Harry and Ron's confused stares with a helpless shake of his head.
Since Ron's brothers were in Gryffindor, Harry, Dudley, Hermione, and a few others sat at the Gryffindor table for dinner.
In Dumbledore's office, he addressed the Sorting Hat. "What happened, old friend?"
The hat seemed to shake itself. "I'm not sure. I was trying to find the best house for Dudley, to… understand him deeply. Then, nothing."
Dumbledore pondered. "Did you discover anything?"
"Oh, plenty! That boy's magical talent surpasses even yours, Dumbledore—and that other child, you know who I mean."
"And then?"
"That's it. I tried to peer into his essence, and then—blank. I felt… fear, though I don't know why," the hat admitted. "I was made by Gryffindor, you know. If I'm afraid, Gryffindor himself would've felt the same."
"I can't quite explain it. After all, I'm just a hat."
If it had shoulders, it would've shrugged.
"Alright, you're just a hat," Dumbledore said with a nod.
"So, where would you place him?"
"If I had to choose, Slytherin. His ambition would thrive there—he'd achieve greatness. But with his talent, he'd excel anywhere."
Dumbledore fell silent, lost in thought.
Back in the Great Hall, after ten minutes, Dumbledore returned with the Sorting Hat.
Curious professors peppered him with questions about the incident, and students' eyes drifted to Dudley.
"This meal's completely tasteless," Dudley muttered.
The earlier fiasco had drawn more attention to him than to Harry, the famous Boy Who Lived. Countless eyes lingered, exactly the opposite of what he wanted.
After dinner, the Sorting Hat was placed back on the stool.
Dumbledore stood, and the hall fell silent, all eyes on him.
"There was a small hiccup earlier. The Sorting Hat got a bit too excited, much like you young ones," he said with a twinkle in his eye. "The sorting will now continue."
"As for Dudley Dursley, his house is—"
"Gryffindor!"
The Gryffindor table exploded into thunderous applause.