Emmaline
"You are leaving us!"
Mila says for the hundredth time today. I can see her father roll his eyes again behind her back while he hands someone a box of cakes at the counter. She was frowning at me, hard.
"I am not Mil; I'm just considering my options!" I respond as I'm lining up the small eclairs in the display; I try not to drop the tray I'm holding as she is literally glued to my side.
"You are leaving me!" she says on a dramatic sigh as the frown turns into sad doe eyes this time.
"Oh Goddess help us!" Joe palms his face.
I close my eyes and exhale slowly. Mila has been acting like a needy whiny child for days now, and I think everyone at the bakery is going crazy with this new attitude she developed. Ben, I'm sorry, I think his ears are bleeding at home too. I think I will be receiving his visit very soon now...
I close the cake display and turn to go inside the kitchen. She follows right behind me as we enter through the bouncing kitchen doors and stand glued to me, this time to my back. I load another batch of caramel eclairs on my empty tray. It's lunch time, so most clients who come to the coffee shop for a sandwich or a quick bite ends up ordering deserts. No one can resist Marco's chocolate cakes and Greg's eclairs after lunch.
"You are leaving, I can see the wheels turning in your head. I can sense it! You are going to leave me..." She gasps in a dramatic tone.
"...and go to this... SANCTURAY the Alpha and Elders washed your brains with!" I can see from the side Marco running inside the pantry, followed in seconds by Greg. I can't blame them, I also want to hide in the pantry, but as the center subject herself, I don't have that luxury.
Elder Millen's announcement was four days ago. Which leaves only 3 days for the Omegas and Deltas of the house to decide if they would like to stay longer at the pack house, apply to buy and build a house on the original Lycan lands, or move away definitely to the new promised land. Decisions, decisions!
"For the last time Mill, I'm not going anywhere! I'm standing right next to you, putting some very nice eclairs in my tray. But they will soon be on the floor if you keep invading my space like a bulldozer!" I turn to her with my loaded tray, and she looks down at it. She backs up a little.
"But you are thinking about it! I can feel it" I arch my brows at her.
"You are an Empath now Mila? I think you have a gift; Joe needs to talk to the Elders and propose you for an Elder position comes 40" I laugh a little saying in the same dramatic tone she used on me earlier. I pass her by as I go outside the kitchen and choose the right side of the front display counter this time; I start lining the eclairs next to the strawberry short cakes.
"Ha Ha, very funny. I'm being serious here!" She says in exasperation while leaning on the display and trying to look me in the eyes from her position. I continue my work as she continues her ranting. Joe is making a latte near the coffee machine behind us.
"You have me and Joe here Emm, you have a nice job, no? you have free reign to invent all kinds of deserts and ice creams, right?" She pleads with her eyes as I finish my job and turns me to her. She holds my arms in both her hands and widen her eyes.
"We can score the lands me and Lucius for a spot, and we can build you a small house in no time! Oh, oh! Joe will increase your salary!" She starts jumping up and down now and I widen my eyes at her sudden outburst in front of Joe, and another wide-eyed customer who was eavesdropping on us while he paid. This is getting out of hand.
"Mila, stop..." I warn her so she can take a hint and stop but she continues like she didn't hear me.
"No, no! this one's better. I will make you partner once the old man retires!" She widens her eyes and stares at me like she just discovered the ultimate solution.
I hear a very loud thud to the left as I'm sure Joe has just dropped something on the counter at her shocking statement. I close my eyes at my friend's persistent non-sense outburst and sigh. I open them again and stand back from her hold, and she drops her hands to her sides. She keeps looking at me with expectations, like she didn't just decide the course of things in my life or her father's bakery business without our consent. I know she means well, but Joe will not let a free-spirited hot-headed girl like his daughter take the reins of his long-time built business if she was going to be this childish.
Putting the bakery's future aside, I won't let Mila's pushing and whining sway my decision, whatever that decision is going to be! My life was dictated by others from the day I was born, how I should live, how I should act, how I should BREATHE.
I won't let anyone else influence my decision this week, or even the way I will feel about it. Even if that decision was going to the sanctuary and breaking my best friend's heart.
"I think I've had enough of this..." Joe turns to his daughter and takes a step forward towards us as he glares at her. I stand in his line of vision before the two of them start tearing at each other's throats.
"Joe, can we have a 10 mins break?" I give him a small smile to convey silently that I can handle her, and that I can stop this once and for all. He smiles apologetically at me, and I shake my head at him.
There is nothing to be sorry about, Joe. Mila was just being her overprotective self towards me, and if it was up to her, I would never leave her or the bakery, ever. This is a comfort zone to me, and she knows it. But I needed to stop her current outburst about my life decisions. I needed to make her understand some important things about me this time. I hold her hand and steer her to the kitchen doors, take her all the way through it into the back ally of the bakery. I close the door behind us and turn to an angry confused Mila. She holds her arms in both hands and ducks her face. Like a child pup. This version of her always makes me smile, like I'm parenting a child.
"Mila?" I smile and it's my turn this time to look at her from below, as I lean down and try to catch her eyes. She looks at me reluctantly, like she already knew that whatever talk we are going to have now, she will be losing. She will have to accept it, even if she didn't like the outcome.
"Mila, honey! Are you going to listen to me now without cutting me off? Hum?" I ask her just to make sure she will not do so. She sighs and closes her eyes for a short second before she looks up at me. I straighten and I look straight into her eyes.
"Mil, I'm not going anywhere for the moment. Not yet..." she tried to open her mouth, but I raise my hand to stop her. She closes it quickly and looks at me with sadness.
"I'm not! But if I decide to do something, be it change my job, build a house, or even change packs, you need to respect my decision!" I swear I can see tears forming in her eyes the moment I said change packs. She didn't like crying, so I can feel her swallow hard to keep them at bay.
"I want you to understand something, my sweet friend, my dear sister-in-arms!" I say as I give her a big smile, that she mirrors instantly. Her eyes are shining even more with un-spilled tears.
"My whole life...no cross that. Even before I was born, my life and future were already planned, my destiny already set into stone. Unlike any other wolf in this pack, or any other pack, I was labeled, ignored; my spirit and wolf beaten into submission just because of some very, very stupid decisions made by the people who birthed me. And all I had to do, was bear with the consequences and move on for the sake of survival, for the sake of my wolf. I didn't have a say in how I lived, how I talked, how I acted or thought; let alone how I decided to live this life of mine. But now..." I exhale the long breath I was holding as I close my eyes.
Me and Zafi think about all the negative happenings that we went through during this insignificant lifetime inside my head. She gives me a half whine half growl to stop my thoughts in track. I shake my head and open my eyes to find that Mila had put down her arms now, her hands baling into fists next to her sides. Her eyes have turned a luminous shade of green – I can feel her wolf Majilani close to the surface. I can only sense the tension radiating from her, surely, they were also thinking of some bad memories that involved me and my life in the pack. I t thank the Goddess she only knows what happened to me starting the day we met. She would have already committed some murders if she knew some of the things I went through before I worked for them.
I continue with a small smile, mastering up some excitement, just to get my thoughts across in a manner that will ease her and her protective nature.
"But now Mila...Now I have options, I have a way out of this! a chance, to live my life in a more decent way in this pack! I want you to be supportive, no matter what decision I make. Be it staying and having my own house in the Original Land next to you and Ben... or moving to a new place." I can feel her relax a little bit when I started talking again.
"Staying in this job, or maybe starting something new myself elsewhere in the future should be MY decision this time, don't you agree? I just want you to be happy for me, Mills, despite of whatever I decide! Because my sister...rest assured, I won't make that decision lightly. If I'm not one hundred percent sure I am going to be happy and comfortable with whatever I choose for myself, believe me I wouldn't even dare take the risk." I close the distance between us, and put my hand on her cheek, lightly swiping my thumb back and forth.
She closes her eyes and nuzzles into my palm; she lets out a long hard sigh. She is probably talking to her wolf to get her to settled too. She opens her eyes, and this time I see her eyes back to the dark green ones that I'm used to look at every day.
She throws herself in my arms and hugs me so hard I let out a strangled laugh. I hug her back, and we stay like that for quite some time. When she pulls back, I see that her lashes are wet, probably some tears rolled down that she wiped quickly before she let go. She hated crying. She puts a stray lock of my hair behind my ear and looks at me.
"You know that my crazy side comes out a lot when it's you, right?" I laugh amusedly at her as we separate. She holds my hands next and tugs a little.
"Emm, I love you. So damn much! You are the sister that stingy old man never blessed me with. No matter what you decide, even if it's going to break my heart..." She stops and swallows hard.
"like deciding to leave this pack to another faraway new land...I will support you!" she ducks her head, probably fighting the same tears I was fighting right now.
"I will try, like really, really hard to understand and respect your decision. But please, please consider all your options in this Land before your thoughts ventures elsewhere okey?" she looks at me again, and the look on her face and her eyes break my heart.
She was holding my hands in a painful grip, and I let her. She is telling me in all forms that she's got my back, that she understands now and always. I smile at this kind soul, at this kind wolf.
Apparently, the goddess spilled her whole kindness container in the pot when she was making the McBrides.
"I know Mila, I know. But for real, I haven't decided yet what I'm going to do! And whatever that is going to be, you will be the first one to know. You're the only one I have anyways!" I wiggle my eyebrows at her, and she swings her fist at my arm. I pretend like I was hurt, and she starts laughing.
"After your emotional outburst today, I'm seriously considering you and Ben building me that house on your own! I can't say no to Free labor!" I laugh as she punches my arm again. She links her arm with mine, and we head back inside the kitchen laughing together.
"Oh man! Do we really have to spend the day inside the pantry or what?" Marco whines when he spots us in his kitchen again, and he throws his towel down the counter.
Mila snaps her canines at the middle-aged Delta. That was probably her wolf Majilani coming to the surface to release some of the tension we put her through lately. I hear him mumbling as he goes inside the pantry about the Goddess misplacing crazy Omega wolfs instead of an Alpha one during the change.
One thing Mila shared with her wolf without discussion is her love for her wolf friend. Majilani LOVED being with Zafi. She once confided in me that Majilani had a hidden warrior streak in her, that she usually fantasizes about sparing in the war compound with the other Alphas. Mil thinks that someday Omegas will have the possibility to join the war forces, and she believes in it if only for the sake of her wolf. That argument only appeases her wolf when she is having violent thoughts. Majilani usually asks for Zafi instead of me when she is out, she told my wolf that being around her makes her calm. Rings a bell? Much to our dismay, we discovered with time that Zafi handles Majilani the same way I handled her carrier. Go figure, our wolves couldn't be opposites and best friends at the same time.
We go together to the counter outside and we give each other a small hug before we separate. Mila takes over the register with a smile before I go to Joe.
"I'm sorry about her, but you know how she gets when you are involved! I'm seriously thinking she will bite Ben's neck when he is asleep if you leave her someday!" Joe says sheepishly in a hushed voice as he stars down at me. Joe was a very big Alpha black man.
With broad shoulders and a kind face, contrary to the so many Alphas I know in our community, Joe preferred to show kindness and understanding unlike the hard strong attributes most born alphas demonstrated by nature. But when it came to Mila, his shoulders were usually slopping down with exhaustion. Proof of a single father trying to keep up with his firecracker of a daughter, I guess.
"Don't worry about it, it's all good now!" I take the towel from his hand and start wiping the coffee machine instead. His eyes follow what I'm doing.
"She loves you very much Emm!" I look up at Joe and smile. He looks at me silently for a moment before he utters something that shocks me out of my socks.
"We all...love you, everyone working in here adores you. you know that, right?" My eyes go wide at Joe's declaration. He clears his throats and as dark as his skin is, I swear I can see a blush creeping up his neck.
This was the first time Joe has ever voiced how he felt about me. His actions and words were always kind and respectful towards me. He helped me and gave me a decent job where so many didn't even let me inside their doors once they discovered who was it applying for their vacancies. Joe has never told me what he thinks about having me in his space, about me being his daughter's best friend, or even as an employee under him when I'm a clear reject of our society.
He just showed me with his actions that he cared, sometimes by adding extra cash to my salary, most times by preparing himself some food that he sends with Mila when she visits during my Heat. He never told me directly how he felt about my existence in their lives in the past three years that I've worked for them. I snap out of my head as I nod and smile at this big unique Alpha, who just fought the egoistical strong nature of his Alpha wolf nature and confessed that in fact, he cared! That him caring about me is the reason he treated me the best next to his own daughter.
He clears his throat again and looks at the ice cream section like he didn't just confess to his employee that he cares about her wellbeing.
"I think we have customers at the ice cream section, could you please take care of that?" I see how you are getting embarrassed their Joe! I laugh internally. If the man didn't have a dark complexion, I swear the initial blush was full blast right now!
I nod and place the coffee machine towel on the side. I turn to go to the ice cream section, and I freeze.
Alpha Levi and Beta Xander were standing right there with the Alpha's little sister and one of the Twins. Mariann and the twin were looking through the ice cream refrigerator, their eyes dancing between all the flavors on display as they pointed excitedly here and there. Beta Xander was looking down at his phone, while the future Alpha was scanning the coffee shop with his sharp eyes. Even his profile from the side was alluringly beautiful!
I breathe in and out to calm myself and calm my wolf. She is now cowering into a corner in my mind because THE Alpha is close by, but I feel her somehow observing every little detail about the group. I take three quick steps towards them from the other side of the ice cream display. I stand opposite the two excited teens and smile kindly at the two blond and dark heads who were now almost plastering their faces to the display.
"Hello, what can I get you?" I ask them, amused at how their eyes are darting between the twenty ice cream containers below.
"Hello, hello! what's new this week?" Mariann starts first, looking up at me with those beautiful blue eyes. Those two eyes appeared to be much more mature for a 12-year-old. She was so beautiful she could pass as a living doll. I can see so much Alpha Olwyn in her.
"The Purple Citrus & Rose petal ice cream is our newest invention. Many have tried it yesterday and vouched for it!" I smile at her widening eyes as she starts bouncing discreetly from one foot to another.
Mariann was a full witch, to her father Alpha Olwyn's pride. She liked experiencing new exotic flavors when she visited the ice cream stand. She always orders the newest and the weirdest combinations of foods and ice creams in our coffee shop; in short, she was a dream customer to my creative side. Her presence was such a delight to my soul. Zafi peeks through my eyes, she also smiles at the child.
"Oh, I would like three scoops of that please!"
"Double that, anything with roses, I'm in!" Her brother cuts right after her.
Ah! Roses and flowers. This must be Nicholas then. He was so obsessed with flowery ice cream flavors this year. I smile, amused by the duo, and proceed to open the refrigerator.
"Cup or Cone?"
"Cap please!" Mariann says levelly while smiling up at me. Goddess, is she really 12? She feels older than her 15-year brother who was standing next to her, now slapping his hands on his thighs to some imaginary rhythm in excitement.
"Cone, cone!" Nicholas says impatiently.
I reach out and take one cone and one cup and proceed with scooping the petal rose balls into each one respectively. I start reaching out for the spoons and napkins when suddenly I hear a voice that sends shivers all through my body!
"Manners Nic, finish that sentence with please...!".
The moment I hear that voice, every muscle in me locks. I glance up without thinking and my eyes freeze as they meet a beautiful face full of stubbles. I can feel the heat in me rise, and suddenly my face is on fire. My throat closes and sweat starts forming down my back. Someone clears his throat, and it snaps me from my trance, I look down and move so fast I knock down the whipped cream bottle. I catch it quickly and look anywhere but upfront.
"W-would you like some whipped cream?" I stutter. What the hell is happening to my composure? Where did this reaction come from? I shouldn't have looked straight at him! Are you crazy? He is Alpha Levi...
Zafira gives me a long groan inside my head. What is wrong with you too now Zafi? We didn't break any Omega-Alpha seniority laws...Did we? Why am I panicking! Breath...I didn't look him in the eyes...
"No thank you, just the ice-cream" Mariann's voice snaps me back right away from my thoughts.
I look to find her waiting patiently while looking up at me from the other side. Her excited brother next to her reaching out with both hands for his cone, apparently oblivious to my internal turmoil.
"Gimme! Gimme!" he looks at me with a smile "Please!"
I nod like a dumb retard a few times, my next steps don't even register as I automatically hand them both their ice creams, spoons, and napkins. I clear my throat and try again this time to calm myself and my wolf as best as I can as she is whimpering now in the shadows of my mind. Zafi is probably trying to understand too why Alpha Levi's voice induced this reaction in our system. Why are we afraid? The next thing that comes out from my mouth is an inaudible small voice.
"Would you like anything else?"
I'm met with silence. I can see from the side of my eyes that the two young McCabe siblings have already settled into an empty booth on the left side of the coffee shop. Two thick, big pairs of legs are still standing in front of me. I can see them both through the ice cream display glass. They were both sporting warrior black combat boots. I hear a throat clears again, and suddenly Alpha Levi says.
"No thank you! I think we are set."
I nod and say "Thank you" in the smallest voice I can manage. They already know that they can proceed and pay at the register, so I don't feel the need to mention anything further. The two pairs of legs disappear from my line of vision.
A shuddered exhale leaves my lips as I lean on the white counter behind me.
What was that...Did he use his Alpha voice? What the hell was that??- I half panic half talk to Zafi, but I'm met with silence from her side. I can feel that she doesn't understand what's happening too. She knows that my questions were more of a panic wondering dialogue, so she doesn't give me a literal answer.
I can hear Joe's voice talking to me from faraway, but I can't hear at the same time what he is saying.
"Emma!" Joe shouts this time and I snap out of it.
"Huh?" I respond dumbly.
"I have been calling you for the last minute, are you alright?" He frowns at me. I shake my head and straighten my position.
"Yes" I swallow, hard. "Yes, yes, I'm okey. What did you want me to do?"
"Can you please go to the back ally, and sort some boxes with Greg? They have been gathering in the last two days now, and we need them sorted asap for the recycling truck tonight" I nod quickly at him, he doesn't know he just saved me from my own demons. Anything that gets me away from the perfect people sitting inside that coffee shop, away from my embarrassing behavior and self-induced panic attack. I literally run away from the front counter, through the kitchen doors as I burst through the back ally door. I'm faced with a wide-eyed Greg.
"And who the hell is chasing you?" he starts with a small laugh at how I burst through the door, but suddenly sobers up and stands as his eyes go wide. "Is Mila..."
I shake my head vigorously "I just run outside, didn't want you to start without me. It's a lot of work sorting recyclables" I say with the most believable smile I could master to reassure him. He exhales with a hand on his heart.
"Thank you, Emm. I'm sorry I took you away from the front counter. Marco is already busy with a big order for the Head Beta's house. Those Betas eat like there is no tomorrow!" He groans as he sits back down! He starts picking up big cartons and flattening them out.
I should be away from that counter after that weird stuff that just happened, so thank you, Greg.
As the distance I put between me and the "Royal Alpha Family" plus the breath in and out technic I was secretly practicing now settles in, I feel Zafi getting back to the surface.
Are you okey? Your heart is beating so hard!- She paces a little bit inside my head as she waits for my answer. I close my eyes and concentrate more on my breathing! I lied to Greg, so the last thing I want is him hearing my thundering heartbeats.
Want me to take over so you can rest a little? - My dear understanding, amazing wolf ships. I can see her at the back of my mind sitting down and titling her head.
She doesn't understand this either! But at least she is calmer than I am right now.
Thank you Zafi- I tell her gratefully on a finale long exhale. I turn to Greg and ask him just in case.
"Hey, Greg, would you mind if Zafi is out instead? I think I need a small break; I want to fade out for a speck. But I promise, I will be back in a half an hour tops!"
Greg looks up at me and gives me a kind smile.
"Not at all, she is most welcome to hang out with me any time! Let her out!" the kind delta reassures me before he goes back to flattening another box.
I nod at him and close my eyes. I let myself retreat to the back while Zafi pushes to the front. I can feel my eyes turning behind my eyelids into her shining bright shades of purple instead of my usual brown ones. We open our eyes, and we see Greg putting together some cartons aside before he turns towards us.
"Wow...those amazing peepers will never seize to surprise me! Hello Zafira!" He looks briefly at my eyes before he averts his gaze and refocuses on placing a bunch of empty cartons behind him!
"Hi Old Man..." We proceed to take a batch of the boxes as we hear him laughing behind our back.
"Old Man? I tell, last week I had a competition with Marco benching and he..." I zone out Greg's voice as I start retreating.
Thank you Zafi, I appreciate it- I tell her one last time on a sigh before I start fading into the back of our mind, to a most welcome darkness.
Always kiddo, I'm here for you! - she tells me with a reassuring smile.
I needed to calm down, to be away from everything right now. From being exhausted because of the recent events happening in the pack; from Mila's concerns...from myself. I needed to recharge and start again if I wanted to be calm and sure about my next step, about my future.
I needed to be away from everything and...everyone.
Away from a certain Alpha.