Jiang Chen had been sitting under the same tree for what felt like an hour.
He had achieved a grand total of nothing, aside from sipping mysterious tea that brewed itself (thanks, system), watching birds quarrel overhead, and wondering if moldy buns counted as spiritual poison.
But peace? Peace was delicious.
Until he felt it.
A disturbance in the atmosphere.
A shift in the wind.
And the unmistakable sound of—
CLATTER.
Dozens of feet skidding to a halt. Robes rustling. Gasps being sucked in with synchronized reverence.
Jiang Chen opened one eye again.
…Why were so many people staring at him?
There were disciples. Lots of them. Men and women of various sects and cultivation levels. At least three sect flags were represented. Azure Sky, Scarlet Lotus, and something called the Moon Rabbit Dojo.
One girl knelt dramatically. "Master Jiang, please accept this disciple!"
Jiang Chen blinked.
Another dropped a bag of spirit stones at his feet.
"Please, let me cultivate in your presence! Your aura has completely reshaped my understanding of the Dao!"
One guy threw his sword down like it had insulted his mother. "This trash weapon is not worthy of your teachings! Please break it and let me start anew!"
Another shouted from the back, "I am willing to clean your feet while reciting the Dao of Silence!"
[DING—Mass Misunderstanding Detected.][+1,200 Emotional Damage Energy Earned.][Unlocked Passive Skill: Aura of Unfathomable Depth Lv.1][Congratulations. You've become the center of a spontaneous cult.]
Jiang Chen lowered his teacup and muttered, "I'm just trying to nap."
Which, of course, only made it worse.
"He speaks!""Wait—listen to the meaning behind his words! 'Nap' must be a metaphor!""A metaphor for inner peace! He naps because the world cannot wake him!""He naps because his soul walks a realm we cannot comprehend!"
[DING—Your silence has been misinterpreted as divine wisdom.]
I literally said words that time.
One of the Moon Rabbit disciples crawled forward, eyes glazed in devotion. "Master Jiang… could you bestow your heavenly insights upon us?"
Jiang Chen looked at them. Really looked.
Some were clearly strong. Some were just rich kids. One of them had a parrot perched on her shoulder who squawked, "Great Sage! Great Sage!"
He sighed.
Then stood slowly, sleeves fluttering with unearned gravitas. The wind helped by dramatically rustling his hair.
All the disciples gasped.
He held up a finger.
Paused.
And said, with the utmost seriousness:
"…Drink tea."
Then he sat back down.
Silence.
And then—
"Aaaaaaaaaah!"
"Truly divine!"
"So profound!"
"Drink tea—of course! How could we have been so blind?"
People immediately began summoning kettles, heating stones, pulling out precious leaves, and meditating with cups balanced on their heads.
[DING—You've unlocked Cultivation Method: Cha Dao Sect Style Lv.1][New Followers: 42. Tea-Based Loyalty Achieved.]
Jiang Chen didn't know whether to laugh, cry, or charge tea-tuition fees.
Back at the Azure Sky Sect, Elder Huo was having heart palpitations.
"Report again," he said sharply, shaking the trembling disciple in front of him.
"Jiang Chen, uh, he's… teaching. In the forest. He told everyone to 'drink tea' and then some people had breakthroughs, and now multiple sects have sent envoys to observe him and… um…"
The Grand Elder's hand trembled.
"…Did we exile a hidden expert?"
"No, no, he just said 'drink tea,'" the disciple stammered. "But everyone keeps crying and saying their bottlenecks are gone!"
Another elder gripped his jade tablet, knuckles white. "I… I felt a ripple in the spiritual river at the moment he spoke those words. Could he truly have—"
"Find out where he learned that phrase!" the Grand Elder roared. "We must—no, we must invite him back!"
"…We beat him and threw him off the mountain."
"Then beg."
Back in the forest clearing, Jiang Chen was now watching a duel break out between two disciples.
Apparently, one claimed that his cup caught the "true tea resonance" while the other insisted his brew had been closer to Jiang Chen's "original Dao aroma."
The loser had to wash everyone's feet in spiritual spring water.
Jiang Chen massaged his temples.
"System, why are they all obsessed with me doing nothing?"
[DING—Because doing nothing while appearing mysterious is, statistically, the most powerful cultivation method in 87% of xianxia-based realities.]
"That… explains too much."
[Would Host like to generate a personal tea cultivation sect name?][Suggestions: 'Dao of the Silent Sip,' 'One Leaf, One Universe,' or 'Serene Steeping Sect.']
"…Make it 'I Am Not a Master Sect.'"
[Processing...]
[Name Accepted. You are now the Progenitor of the 'I Am Not a Master Sect.']
Far away, on the Golden Clouds Peak of the Heavenly Mirror Sect, an old man opened his eyes.
"I felt it," he whispered, rising from meditation.
His disciple bowed. "Master?"
"A great Dao… born of tea leaves and silence. I must find this expert and beg to become his disciple."
"Should I prepare our flying sword?"
"No. Prepare the entire mountain. We ride at dawn."