*Or: How I Became the Universe's Most Unhinged Villain While Still in the Womb*
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**"GAME OVER! HOLY GUACAMOLE! THIS IS IT!"**
Qin Feng howled at the cosmic irony, cursing the heavens like a disgruntled customer yelling at a broken vending machine. Just days ago, he'd been a humble factory worker, slaving away to fund his boss's future harem. Now? Reincarnated as a fetus. A *squishy*, underdeveloped fetus. In a world called **"Huanggu"**—a place where dragons, demons, and drama queens roamed free.
At first, Qin Feng thought he'd hit the jackpot. His new dad? **Qin Clan's patriarch**—think Tony Stark meets Genghis Khan, but with more facial hair. His mom? **TaiBai Immortal Mountain's saintess**—basically a magical Disney princess who could bench-press a mountain. With such OP parents, Qin Feng planned to live his best life: eat, sleep, bully randos, repeat. If trouble arose? Just yell *"Dad!"* or *"Mom!"* like summoning cheat codes. Easy mode activated!
But fate, that petty little gremlin, had other plans.
Today, while Qin Feng floated in his amniotic spa, his mother drank her daily **"Baby Buff Juice"**—a mystical smoothie brewed by the Qin Clan to max out fetal stats. For **97 years** (thanks to a *"let's delay childbirth for a century"* spell), Qin Feng had been guzzling this liquid luck. But today…
**"STOP STEALING MY JUICE, YOU LITTLE GREMLIN!"**
A tiny *thing* beside him—his twin brother—was vacuuming up the energy like a Dyson on steroids. Qin Feng's once-plump spirit dimmed faster than a phone battery at a TikTok marathon. Worse, a system notification blared in his mind:
**[Ding! Congratulations! You've met an *EPIC* Chosen One!]**
**"Wait… *HE'S* the protagonist?!"** Qin Feng's fetal soul did a mental spit-take.
His brother's stats glowed like a neon Vegas sign:
- **Luck +9999** (Dude could trip into a dragon's lair and walk out with its hoard.)
- **Talent +9999** (Master quantum physics during naptime? Sure.)
- **Charm +9999** (Even rocks would simp for him.)
- **Family Death Rate: 50%** (Ah, yes. The classic *"orphan hero starter pack."*)
And if little bro faced danger? Those stats doubled. *Family Death Rate* skyrocketed to **99.999%**—a number so precise it screamed *"your funeral plans are on aisle three."*
Qin Feng panicked. **"I'm the older brother! Why am I the expendable NPC?!"**
**[Ding! Correction: You're not an NPC. You're the *ULTIMATE VILLAIN*!]**
Air quotes materialized around Qin Feng's fetal form as the **"Universe's Most Ridiculous Anti-Hero System"** booted up:
**[Rewards Unlocked!]**
- **Mythical Aura: Emperor's Potential** (All stats ×10. Basically, cheat codes for your cheat codes.)
- **Divine Skill: 33 Heavens Creation Sutra** (Born from the Big Bang. Perfect for blowing up… stuff.)
- **Legendary Item: Crimson Furball Experience Card** (Transform into a max-level, chaos-spewing red-haired monstrosity. Duration: 24 hours. Cooldown: 10 years. Side effects include existential dread.)
Qin Feng stared. On one hand, villainy sounded risky. On the other, *red-haired monstrosity*.
**"Fine! If I'm gonna die, I'll die FABULOUSLY!"** he declared, kicking his brother's smug fetal face.
But then—philosophy! Confucius once said: *"A gentleman must strike decisively, or risk looking like a soggy noodle."* So Qin Feng channeled his inner Shakespearean tragedy: **"To villain or not to villain? THAT'S A STUPID QUESTION!"**
The system sighed. **[You're already monologuing. Just embrace the drama.]**
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**Meanwhile, in the Real World…**
The Qin Clan's elders huddled around a glowing womb orb, their beards quivering with excitement.
**"The twins' energy readings are… unprecedented!"** one gasped.
**"The younger one radiates destiny!"** cried another.
**"And the older?"**
**"He radiates… chaotic gremlin energy."**
Unbeknownst to them, Qin Feng was already drafting his villain origin story: *Step 1: Steal all the Baby Buff Juice. Step 2: Troll the protagonist. Step 3: ??? Step 4: Profit.*
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**Epic Sibling Rivalry Status:** *Loading…*
**Next Time on *"My Brother Is the Hero, and I'm His Walking Red Flag"*:**
Qin Feng discovers his first henchman—a sassy system that roasts him 24/7. Also, someone yells *"YOLO!"* during a lightning tribulation. Stay tuned!
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*Author's Note:* This story contains 0% nutritional value, 100% absurdity. Do not attempt fetal cultivation at home.