POV - Chaos
"Chaos!" Elias called me.
Ears forward, I got up from my nap in the glade and met him on the porch.
"Hey," he said, "let's go upstairs."
I followed at his heel up to our room. This meant he wanted to talk to me and Kyas.
Our room had been remodeled when we turned thirteen. Kyas' unused bed was removed as well as Elias' old one, replaced by a single larger bed, for Elias alone, though I slept at his feet. Buzz Lightyear posters were replaced by rock band posters. Action figures replaced by sports trophies.
Some of those trophies were even mine, with Alpha enrolling with me in sheep herding, agility, Frisbee, and water sports. It was an unexpected idea that led to stronger bonds for me too.
Next door, Alpha's nightmares stopped with the regular visits of Kyas, and Luna moved back in with him when we were twelve. It was quite a shock to us to find her there, and she was shocked to be able to see her son's ghost as well. We were afraid she would find us out, but she didn't. Kyas still snuggles with both of them on full moons.
Elias has moved on to high school in the local town, but I still watch through the windows of Ember's classrooms. We're in fourth grade. I still bring her lunch every day and walk with her to and from school, but she's... different these days. Grandma died last year, and her mother went missing the year before that, so now it's just her and her father. He still beats her.
I have grown a bit. I'm not a small half-grown pup anymore. While nowhere near the adult I will become, I'm catching up.
"Is Kyas awake?" Elias asked, snapping me out of my thoughts.
Kyas answered yes so I nodded.
"Yeah, so... I just finished getting reamed out by Ethos. I've been a selfish ass, and I'm sorry." He said. "It's time Kyas stops being a ghost, and Chaos... you're not a dog. You're a wolf and it's time that people know it."
Kyas' blue aura turned a bright blue, then deepened in a shade of pure emotion.
Elias looked right into my eyes as if he could see Kyas in the back of my mind. He couldn't, but it was that intense. "You kept your promise, brother, and I love you so much for that. You've been dead to this pack for twelve years. Five of them just for me. It's time for a resurrection."
He moved to a chair by a desk against one of the walls, and faced me from a distance.
"On the next full moon, there's an induction ceremony." He said. "Do you know what that is?"
I didn't. Kyas said he didn't either. I shook my head.
He explained, "It's a traditional ceremony that we go through when we get our wolves. It's an official joining with the pack that can't be done without your wolf. We go through a ritual with Papa, where the Alpha learns the blood of each wolf, and you even take on the pack's unique scent, that tells other wolves what pack you belong to. The whole pack comes to witness it, and then we join the pack run."
Kyas and I got excited. We've always wanted to join the pack run. Elias smiled at the feeling through the bond.
"The next ceremony is on the next full moon, Kyas. I think that's the perfect chance to reveal yourself." He said.
Kyas got anxious and excited at the same time, but we nodded.
Elias then gave us a sad look. "I have to be fair to both of you... which means I owe you a huge apology. " He said.
I tilted my head. We're listening...
"When we made the promise, Kyas, I didn't realize fully what I was asking you to give up to keep it." He said sadly. "Ethos reminded me of something I should have thought about, but being selfish, I didn't."
"Pack. I kept you from the pack. The connection with them, the family... the lifeblood of a Wolf's purpose. It's what we fight for above everything else, what we protect with our life." He said. "Ethos reminded me that, if you didn't promise me, if you didn't keep it, you could have had that. You had Chaos. Papa would have let you join the pack."
He looked at me, and Kyas through me, and a tear escaped down his cheek. "I'm sorry, Chaos. Ethos says that you especially needed that, and I took that from you too. I didn't realize that at the time, I only wanted my father back. Forgive me?"
This was... new. I don't think I've ever been asked that. Considered... more than an extension of either Kyas or Elias. Asked how I feel about something. I think I'm going to like Ethos. He's teaching all of us about...me.
Right, focus. Forgiveness. I guess since I never had that, I didn't (and still don't) know that it was missing. And I'll get to know it now, with him. With all of them. I moved forward and licked his tear streamed face. I forgive you.
Kyas though... was quiet. 'Kyas? What are you thinking?'
'I'm... not sure.' He responded. 'I mean, I guess things have been ok. I was a pack slave, and then we were a pack dog before, and its All been better than that. Every day was better than that but... I'm starting to wonder if the price I paid for Papa... was too high in the end of it? If maybe I shouldn't have agreed, and made Papa pay it, instead of me?'
'Do you think we should be mad? At Elias for making us promise? At Alpha for well...all of it?' I asked.
'I'm really not sure, Chaos. Maybe we should've been mad, but it's too late now? It's done. Promise kept, and we can't go back and do it over. Does it make sense to be mad now?' He questioned.
'Elias was mad a long time. He made us promise.' I offered.
'He was mad at Papa. He didn't make us promise. We could have said no.' Kyas said.
'We might have taken Alpha. Elias would've hated us.' I reminded him. "Get an Alpha, lose a brother. Now we have both, Luna too.'
'But...we could have had a pack. Not been so lonely. So...by ourselves except for them and only them.' He countered.
'Is a pack worth the price of a brother? Two brothers, cause maybe Ethos would have hated us too. Worth the twin bond? Worth only hate and angry bond colors all the time? Or...Alpha not accepting us...this way. He still may not, but we've both had it good with him. We might not have had that if we didn't promise. If we didn't keep it. Maybe we would hate Alpha if he stopped wanting us.' I mentioned.
Kyas sighed. 'Too many maybes. Too many might haves, too many ifs. I guess at the end of it, I don't want to be like Elias. I don't want to stay mad for years, especially for something none of us can take back now. We still might lose Papa if he stays mad over what we did. Both of us still might lose him. If we lose Papa, I still want Elias. Especially if Papa gets so mad, he won't let us into the pack. Or if Papa doesn't want a wolf like us in his pack. 'I'll forgive Elias, but I think I'll be more careful about my promises from now on. I think this one cost us more than we know.' He decided.
'Agreed,' I said, 'but... I think if Alpha rejects us, I might hate him. Even if you don't.'