Yin Yue squinted at the espresso machine like it was a puzzle box designed by a sadist. "So… which one is the shot button again?"
Liang Yu, arms crossed, stood beside him like an unimpressed ghost haunting the café. "You've asked me that five times."
"It's a trick button. It looks like all the other ones."
"It has a coffee cup icon."
"They all have coffee cup icons."
"That's because this is a coffee machine."
Yin Yue sighed. "Look, if I were meant to operate machines, I would've transmigrated into an air fryer."
Liang Yu didn't even blink. "Try again."
Yin Yue pushed a button. Water shot across the counter with the pressure of a fire hose.
Liang Yu closed his eyes. "That was the rinse cycle."
"Oh," said Yin Yue, blinking at his now-soaked shirt. "Refreshing."
"Grab a dry shirt from the back," Liang Yu muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose. "You're scaring the customers."
"I'm attracting them with vulnerability," Yin Yue argued as he turned toward the backroom. "It's called relatability."
The shirt he found was slightly too large and smelled faintly of vanilla syrup. He pulled it on and returned to the front just in time to see Liang Yu smoothly prepare a cappuccino with the kind of grace normally reserved for calligraphy masters.
"Show off," Yin Yue mumbled.
Liang Yu ignored him. "Your turn. Make a latte."
"Fine," Yin Yue said with a dramatic inhale. "How hard can it be?"
Step 1: Grind the beans.
Step 2: Somehow get the ground beans into the portafilter without spilling it.
Step 3: Fail at Step 2 and sneeze as the coffee dust went up his nose.
"You're supposed to tap the portafilter to level it," Liang Yu said.
"I did tap it. With enthusiasm."
"You slammed it like you were trying to kill it."
"It had an attitude."
Eventually, coincidence, Yin Yue managed to pull a decent espresso shot. Then came the milk.
He stared at the pitcher. "This is where I die, isn't it?"
"You steam it until it sounds like ripping paper."
"I don't like that."
"Too bad."
Yin Yue turned on the steam and shrieked as hot milk foamed. The pitcher slipped in his hand, tilted, and poured down the front of his apron and onto—oh no.
Liang Yu flinched as milk splashed across the side of his black shirt. It dripped and steamed. His entire expression went eerily blank.
"...I'm so sorry," Yin Yue whispered, frozen in terror. "I panicked. The milk panicked. We all panicked."
Liang Yu slowly wiped milk off his collarbone with a towel, like someone very calmly deciding whether or not to commit murder.
A customer at the pickup counter audibly gasped.
A teenage girl whispered to her friend, "Oh my god, are they fighting or flirting?"
The friend whispered back, "Both i guess and It's hot."
Yin Yue looked around. "This is a health hazard. We're a walking OSHA violation."
Liang Yu muttered something under his breath and turned away to wring out his shirt in the back sink. Yin Yue followed with a mop, tail between his legs. "Look, I didn't mean to milk you. Uh—I mean splash milk. On you."
"You're not allowed to touch the steamer ever again," Liang Yu said flatly.
"Fair."
"Or the grinder."
"Reasonable."
"Or the syrup pumps."
"But I like the syrup pumps—"
"You made three of them explode yesterday."
Yin Yue sighed. "Okay, fine. I'll just take orders and be pretty."
Liang Yu turned. "You can't remember drinks either."
"I have… charm."
"You called a mocha a 'moochachoo' in front of a customer."
Yin Yue groaned and leaned against the wall. "Why did I get sent to this world if I'm just meant to suffer?"
> 💻 SYSTEM 520: Because you look hot in an apron.
"Shut up," he hissed at the ceiling.
Liang Yu raised an eyebrow. "What?"
"Nothing. Internal monologue."
There was a pause. Liang Yu looked like he wanted to say something else—maybe "You're a disaster," maybe "I should fire you," or maybe, just maybe, "Why do I want to kiss you even when you're a walking latte catastrophe?"
But all he said was, "Break's over."
Yin Yue followed him back to the counter, their shoulders nearly brushing. Liang Yu didn't step away.
That, more than anything, made Yin Yue's heart skip.
The café had hit its mid-morning lull. The espresso machine hissed, and Liang Yu was cleaning the drip tray with grim determination, sleeves rolled up to the elbow, revealing unfairly sculpted forearms.
Yin Yue sat behind the counter, chewing on a straw, watching him like an endangered predator in the wild, and just a little bit of thirst.
> 💻 SYSTEM 520:
🎯 Mission Triggered: Make the Male Lead SMILE.
🤓 Rules: Must be genuine. No physical tickling. No sabotage. No mirror trickery.
💋 Reward: +1 Stability Point, +2 Soul Resonance.
💀 Failure: Negative affection gain. Possibly caffeine poisoning.
Yin Yue groaned. "You're giving me a comedy side quest?! He hasn't smiled since 2003!"
> 🐶 SYSTEM 520: We believe in you! 🌈
(Not really.)
He narrowed his eyes. Across the café, Liang Yu restocked sugar packets with surgical precision. Expression: like auditing your tax return.
Yin Yue considered his options.
Option 1: Compliment him.
Risk: Misinterpretation, death by eyebrow raise.
Option 2: Tell a joke.
Risk: System forces a pity laugh and voids mission.
Option 3: Cause a scene and gaslight him into thinking it's funny.
"Solid," he muttered. "Time to weaponize embarrassment."
The bell above the door jingled.
Two new customers walked in-matching tote bags and pastel hoodies, with auras of evil. They giggled and glanced around too quickly. One of them whispered, "He's hotter in person."
The other pulled out a tablet and began discreetly filming.
Yin Yue's customer service smile cracked into a knowing grin. Spies. He'd seen these types before. Fake customers from rival cafés. Probably from Bitter Beans, the chain across the street that used soy based and coupons to steal business.
He slid beside Liang Yu at the register. "Heads up. We're under attack."
"What."
"Two girls by the fern. Surveillance energy. Codenames: Bubblegum and Rat Bastard."
Liang Yu didn't glance over. "You're paranoid."
Yin Yue leaned closer. "One of them's pretending to order just to record your face."
Liang Yu sighed. "That's not a crime."
"It should be. This is a safe space. For emotionally unavailable hot people."
He walked over to the girls with a grin.
"Hi ladies! Trying something new today? May I recommend our specialty: the Espresso Espionage-served with a side of moral conflict."
Bubblegum blinked. "Uh... what?"
He leaned on the counter conspiratorially. "Look, I know a spy when I see one. I am one. In another life. Probably."
Rat Bastard stammered, "We-we're just customers-"
"Sure. And I'm just a barista who fell from heaven and landed in retail hell."
They fled.
Yin Yue strolled back to the counter with swagger, only to find Liang Yu staring at him.
"You scared off paying customers."
"They were sleeper agents."
"They were ordering two large iced caramel lattes."
"They were spying on you."
"You're delusional."
"I'm right."
Liang Yu's lips twitched.
Yin Yue blinked. "Wait-hold on. Was that a smirk?"
"No."
"Are you sure? I saw your mouth curve. Just slightly."
"I was yawning."
"You yawn downward, not sideways."
"It was involuntary muscle strain."
Yin Yue gasped. "You almost smiled. That counts."
Liang Yu leaned in just enough that Yin Yue felt the heat of him. "Try again, rookie."
Yin Yue's brain short-circuited. He covered it by bumping into the trash bin. "Cool. Cool cool cool. Totally normal workplace dynamic."
> 💻 SYSTEM 520: Progress: 72%.
Warning: Host is physically overheating. Apply ice.
He fumbled for a mop to hide his flaming ears.
"Do you want me to assign you a new job?" Liang Yu asked calmly. "Maybe something you're better at?"
"Oh sure," Yin Yue said. "Do you offer positions in the department of awkward flirting and bad life choices?"
That earned him nothing but a blank stare.
Until he turned around and heard it-
A soft exhale.
The faintest huff of air from Liang Yu's nose.
Yin Yue whipped around. "Was that a laugh?!"
Liang Yu looked the other way. "Must've been the milk frother."
"You laughed. I heard it. You're a fraud."
"No proof."
"System?! Tell him!"
> 💻 SYSTEM 520:
🏆 Mission Complete!
🎉 ML has emitted a verified Genuine Smile™
Reward Applied. Soul Resonance: +2
Affection Meter: 5/100
Also: You are banned from spy-hunting in uniform.
Yin Yue sat down on a stool, victorious, basking in the glow of a job well done and a mission half-failed.
Liang Yu tossed him a clean towel. "Don't look so smug."
"I will look exactly as smug as I want, thank you."