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A Universal WAAAGH!: Da Humie’s Guide to Ork Krumpin’ an’ Bossin

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Synopsis
this is my first time writing guys so just tell if there's anything wrong. also I'm not a hardcore 40k fan so correct me if I made something wrong but I'll do my best to make it accurate ----------------------------------------------- Logan Collins was just a regular dude with regular hobbies —until his computer exploded and killed him. Instead of an afterlife or peaceful void, he wakes up in the bullet-riddled body of a dead starship captain aboard a raided nomad vessel drifting through space. But that’s not the weird part. His Ork mini displayed in his desk? It came back to life. Eight feet of green muscle, bad breath, and murder rage. And Logan? Somehow, he can step into the minds of Orks—like a divine admin in a server full of angry users. After “spiritually biting” the Ork’s brain, he becomes something more terrifying than a Warboss: a god in the eyes of the greenskins. Now armed with fear, confusion, and a single incredibly obedient Ork, Logan must figure out how to survive a lawless galaxy, rebuild a stolen ship, and stop more Orks from tearing him apart... or worshipping him to death. Expect heavy WAAAGH-fueled space adventure. And ork shenenigans. Note that only the orks are from Warhammer 40k and the rest are my OC's.
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Chapter 1 - Da Waghhh: How Da Humie Got Da Boss Powers

Hi guys this is my first time writing please share your feedback in terms of Grammar or format.

Lightning struck, Rain fell.

And a dead body.

Logan Collins died of the dumbest way possible .

He'd been hunched over his cluttered desk, reading novels in his pc when a bolt crashed through the sky, sending a surge of electricity through the power lines — and right into his computer causing it to explode.

Then, nothing. Just pure darkness

"Gah!"

Logan woke gasping, pain burning through his entire chest and arms. He was lying on cold metal. Around him, the walls were scarred and bloodstained, and the air smelled like oil and burnt circuits. The architecure reminds him of those space ship cabins in sci-fi films.

"Is this a lucid dream?"

He tried to move. His body felt heavy, alien. Looking down, he saw a futuristic looking armor—scratched, dented, and stained.

He raised his hands- or what should now be a hand as one of his arms was cut by something. The heat of whatever cut it caused it to be cauterized hence stoping blood lost but also making it more painful.

He scanned the place nearby. Battered metal walls and dead bodies caught his eye, illuminated by flickering red lights.

"What kind of random dream is this"

Logan muttered thinking whatever's happening to him was just an effect of his excessive reading and lack of sleep.

But it wasn't. The pain is real. Even when he is training or pushing himself in the gym he never felt this kind of pain. Besides shouldn't he have already woken up if this is a dream?

Logan took a shaky breath.

"Did I really die?" He muttered l, memories of his computer exploding and the pain of being electrocuted flashed in his mind.

The sharp ache in his chest throbbed in time with the flickering red light above. Every breath felt like gravel scraping through lungs that didn't belong to him.

Why am I still thinking? Where the hell am I?

He pushed himself up slowly, palms scraping against a cold metal floor slick with something dark—oil? Blood?

That's when he saw the body. Not a body—his body. Or rather, the one he now occupied.

It was too big. Broader, scarred. Clad in armor plates bearing deep gouges and scorched sigils. His reflection shimmered in a cracked console screen beside him.

Not Logan, Not anymore.

A nameplate on the wall caught his eye, half-lit by a sputtering emergency lamp. "Captain Kael Draken – Wraithsong"

"…Guess that's me now."

And that's when it hit him. He wasn't going home...

He wouldn't see his parents again. Wouldn't go to school again with his friends. Wouldn't share another late-night gaming sessions. They were gone—left behind in a world he could no longer reach.

His throat tightened.

'Am I even… me anymore?'

Just as logan- now kael was having a breakdown a loud clang and multiple thuds echoed in the chambers.

"WAAAAAAAGH!! Wot'z dis place?!"

A guttural growl echoed down the hallway.

Logan's eyes snapped to the source. And what he saw made his blood run cold.

A hulking 2 meter tall green figure emerged from the smoke — muscles rippling beneath thick skin, jagged tusks curving over its jaw. It slowly walked towards him naked but whatever is supposed to be hanging in the middle was not there.

It gripped a crude diy cleaver fashioned from scrap metal and and whatever it found in the surrounding.

The Ork snarled, eyes burning yellow:

"You'z a humie. Da humies gotta die. I'z gonna krump ya!"

Logan- now Kael's heart slammed. "Did I reincarnate in Warhammer 40k?"

Then, the Ork charged.

But he didn't dodge or fight.

Not that he was able to.

Kael closed his eyes-

"Is this really how my second life is gonna start and end?"

"Why are others reincarnated into peaceful worlds or with op abilities from the start while im instantly in front of a mini boss?"

Unable to muster any courage to look he close his eyes and raised his remaining arm to try and block the blade. But instead of the ramshackle weapon slicing his arms, the world suddenly shifted.

Time slowed down and the hallway dissolved into a flickering network of glowing green nodes and pulsing streams: the Waghhh field, a primal psychic web where Orks shared their rage and bloodlust.

Logan felt himself connected — plugged in.

The Ork's furious presence streamed into his mind like raw data, violent and chaotic.

This is… the Ork's mind? Like a server?

Somehow, Logan was inside it. Connected to it. And he saw it- a tiny humanoid green speck of light moving towards him- the ork

"Stop!"

Without thinking, Logan reached into the figure — and tried to crush it, stopping it from moving closer.

"Bam!"

The Ork's presence slammed into him like a wrecking ball—violent, screaming, utterly unfiltered. It roared in confusion.

"WOT'Z DIS?! WHO ARE YOU IN MAH 'EAD?!"

Then a miraculous scene happened, the Ork screamed in psychic panic, struggling to break free.

"What! Wot you doin'?!" it growled in Logan's mind.

"You can't krump or whatever me here," Logan thought, swallowing harder his heart thumping so fast it feels like it's about to burst from his chest.

Without thinking, Logan pushed back. He bit down on the Ork's essence—not physically, but mentally. Spiritually. Like swallowing raw, howling energy.

The effect was instant.

The Ork's spiritual avatar shrieked."AAAGH! YOUZ EATIN' ME MIND!!"

The server-space collapsed in a green flash

Then, the connection snapped, and suddenly they were back in the metal hallway the orks weapon inches away from his remaining hand but not moving any more closer.

The Ork staggered, eyes wide, trembling and panting hard.

"You… you's a god," it muttered, quivering. "You went inside me head an'… an' ate me! No Ork does dat! Dat's sum god-stuff!"

You'z can get in da boyz' brainz… you must be a prophet o' Gork an' Mork!"

It threw down its cleaver, arms raised like a surrendering grot.

"I'z yer boy now, boss. I'z listen! I'z don't wanna be brain-snacked again!"

Logan stood frozen.

This wasn't a dream. The pain was real. The fear in the Ork's face was real.

"I'z your boy now! Da strongest humie or da biggest prophet! What you say, I do! No disobedience, or I'z gone like da others!"

Kael stood frozen.

This wasn't a dream. The pain was real. The fear in the Ork's face was real.

And somehow… he could control them.

Not through strength.

Through fear.

Through something deeper.

He took a slow breath.

"…Guess I'm the boss now."

"Yeh! You'z da big humie boss, picked by da godz themselfz!"