The first thing I noticed wasn't the vibrant blue sky or the lush forest stretching endlessly before me. It wasn't the faint hum of mana in the air or the weight of the ornate staff clutched in my hand. No, it was the *bouncy* situation right in front of me.
A woman—mid-twenties, maybe—stood by a shimmering lake, her white blouse clinging to her curves as she wrung out her wet hair. The fabric was practically transparent, and my eyes locked onto the glorious sight like a hawk spotting prey. *Jackpot.*
"Oi, kid! Stop staring!" she snapped, crossing her arms over her chest, which only made things... *more pronounced.*
I grinned, leaning on my staff. "Sorry, miss, but the gods themselves crafted that view. I'm just appreciating their work."
Her face turned tomato-red, and she hurled a rock at me. I didn't even flinch. A flicker of mana pulsed from my staff, and the rock disintegrated into dust mid-air. Her jaw dropped.
"W-What are you, some kind of monster?" she stammered, stepping back.
"Nah," I said, brushing my silver hair out of my eyes. "Just Kain Velhart, the greatest mage you'll ever meet. And maybe your future husband, if you play your cards right."
She screamed and bolted into the forest. I sighed, watching her go. *What a waste of a perfectly good figure.* Still, there'd be plenty more where that came from. This world was practically bursting with opportunities, and I, Kain Velhart, was here to seize them all—magical and otherwise.
---
Let's rewind a bit. I wasn't always Kain Velhart, prodigy mage with a face that could charm a dragon and power that could level one. I used to be Kazuma Hoshino, a 34-year-old NEET with a room full of waifu merch and a browser history that'd make a nun faint. My life ended in a blaze of glory—well, if you call choking on instant ramen while clutching a body pillow "glory."
Next thing I knew, I was staring at a glowing figure calling itself the God of Reincarnation. It rambled about giving me a second chance in a fantasy world, yadda yadda, something about balancing the scales of fate. I wasn't listening. I was too busy negotiating for perks. I got three: a body that'd make women swoon, magic strong enough to bend reality, and an artifact called the Lustrous Scepter that amplified my mana to absurd levels. The god muttered something about me being "a problem," but I was already dreaming of the harem I'd build.
Now here I was, a 12-year-old with the mind of a perverted adult and the power of a demigod. The forest around me buzzed with life—birds chirping, mana swirling like invisible currents. The scepter in my hand, a sleek black rod topped with a crimson gem, pulsed faintly, as if eager to unleash chaos. I smirked. This world didn't know what hit it.
I started walking, my boots crunching on the forest path. My new body was lean but strong, and my silver hair and crimson eyes gave me an edge of mystique. I looked like the lovechild of a vampire prince and a rock star. Perfect.
My first goal was simple: find a town, scope out the local talent, and figure out what kind of world I'd been dropped into. The god hadn't given me a manual, but I had a feeling trouble would find me soon enough. It always did.
---
About an hour later, I heard screams. Not the fun kind, sadly. These were panicked, accompanied by the clash of steel and the roar of something big. I crested a hill and saw the source: a caravan under attack by a pack of massive, wolf-like creatures with glowing red eyes. Merchants cowered behind overturned wagons while a handful of guards fought desperately, their swords barely scratching the beasts' hides.
*Amateurs,* I thought, twirling my scepter. Time to make an entrance.
I raised my hand, and mana surged through me, hot and electric. "Infernal Cascade," I muttered, the words coming instinctively, as if my new body had a spellbook hardcoded into it. The air shimmered, and a torrent of crimson flames erupted from my palm, engulfing the wolves. They howled, thrashing as the fire consumed them, leaving nothing but ash.
The guards and merchants stared, frozen. I sauntered down the hill, scepter over my shoulder. "You're welcome," I said, flashing a grin.
A woman stepped forward, her armor dented but her posture commanding. She was tall, with short black hair and a glare that could cut steel. Her breastplate hugged her figure in a way that made my brain short-circuit. *Focus, Kain. Business first, pleasure later.*
"Who are you?" she demanded, hand on her sword hilt.
"Kain Velhart, wandering mage and connoisseur of beauty," I said, winking. "You must be the captain of this ragtag bunch. Nice... armor."
Her eye twitched. "You're a child. How did you cast a spell like that?"
"Child? Ouch." I clutched my heart dramatically. "I'm a prodigy, lady. Stick around, and I'll show you tricks that'll make your head spin."
She opened her mouth to retort, but a low growl interrupted her. From the forest emerged a beast twice the size of the others, its fur black as night and its eyes burning with malice. The guards flinched, but I just laughed.
"Big doggo wants to play? Fine by me." I pointed my scepter at it. "Void Lance."
A spear of pure darkness shot from the gem, piercing the beast's chest. It collapsed instantly, dead before it hit the ground. The merchants gasped, and even the captain looked shaken.
"W-What kind of magic is that?" she whispered.
"The kind that gets results," I said, dusting off my hands. "Now, about my reward... Got any cute sisters?"
She swung her sword at me. I dodged, laughing. "Kidding, kidding! Mostly."
---
The caravan was headed to a city called Lyrion, and after some grumbling, the captain—whose name was Aria—agreed to let me tag along. Apparently, I'd saved their hides, so they owed me. I didn't care about their gratitude; I was more interested in the two merchant daughters peeking at me from behind a wagon. Twins. *Oh, this world is too good.*
As we traveled, Aria kept a wary eye on me. "You're dangerous," she said, walking beside me. "A kid with that kind of power... it's unnatural."
"Unnatural's my middle name," I replied, eyeing her figure. "So, Aria, you single?"
She groaned, rubbing her temples. "You're insufferable."
"And yet, you're still talking to me." I grinned. "Admit it, I'm growing on you."
She didn't respond, but I caught the faintest blush on her cheeks. *Score one for Kain.*
The city of Lyrion loomed on the horizon, its spires gleaming under the setting sun. I had a feeling this place would be full of trouble—and opportunities. My kind of place.
"Let's see how many hearts I can break before dinner," I muttered, twirling my scepter.
This world wasn't ready for Kain Velhart. But it was about to learn.